I expect simple behaviours here. Friendship, and love. Any advice should be from the perspective of the person asking, not the person giving! We have had to make new membership moderated to combat the huge number of spammers who register
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
I know I've posted on this before, and I will be grateful if someone finds that thread.
Debates have winners and losers. Debating is, pretty much, a no holds barred full contact sport. It sets out entrenched views and does nothing useful to seek to change the views of those who disagree.
Discussions are similar but different. We can discuss things and allow our views to form or change during the discussion. We can say that our views have changed without fear of losing.
Despite my certainty on some topic or other, I am not correct. Despite your certainty, neither are you. Together, though, we may reach a view that surprises one or both of us, unless you try to force your view upon me, when I will defend mine, even if it is ridiculous, or I try to force mine on you, when I predict you will react in the way I do.
I have long held that we should discuss things here, but never debate them, for the reasons set out in this short post. In this manner we can discuss the undiscussable without war breaking out.