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I understand "Trans" on a person by perosn basis  [message #75901] Fri, 13 September 2019 22:38 Go to previous message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13518

I understand my cousin, born male, self identified as female. I understand how things go awry when we are being gestated (or are we gestating?) and being born, nourished, nurtured. I understand sensitivity to pronouns. What empathetic person could not understand these things

I find it difficult to the point of truly hard to extrapolate this understanding to the general population of folk who identify as a different sex from the sex apparent in their physical makeup. I am content with those who are intersex being able to be the person they have discovered they are, but I think that to be a subtly different topic.

But... I do not spend my life feeling that I am male. I just feel like me. I also do not spend my life feeling I am homosexual.  I just feel like me.

I am more likely to feel homosexual than I am to feel male, because I associate myself with being homosexual when considering, for example, small villages in the 1800s, and how hard it must have been to be attracted to other males.

I've been trying to work out when I last felt male. I need to know which sex I am when visiting a public toilet, but more for social convention than any other reason. Owners of a penis are not often welcome in a female toilet. Apart from that I doubt I have ever felt male per se. I don't mean that I've felt female. I mean I haven't felt of either sex. I'm just me.

Yet I know that, were I to feel I were trapped in the wrong body, then I would almost certainly feel female. Or I might just feel wrong and wronged by fate. I'm not sure, because I cannot know.

I saw a news item today which prompted this. They don't necessarily feel male nor female. Well, me neither. Actually, literally, that is 'me, neither', for I've said, I don't feel male. I don't feel fluid, male sometimes, female other times. I just feel like me. I don't say this to detract in any manner from their deeply held feleings. I say it to try to understand the issue better.

[Updated on: Mon, 16 September 2019 16:47]

Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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