I expect simple behaviours here. Friendship, and love. Any advice should be from the perspective of the person asking, not the person giving! We have had to make new membership moderated to combat the huge number of spammers who register
Location: Worcester, England
Registered: January 2005
timmy wrote on Fri, 16 March 2012 10:22
So, tell us about virginity. Is it important to 'save it for later'?
I'm not really happy with absolute "either/or" things in general, and I tend to think in terms of a continuum of experience or inexperience rather than "virgin / not virgin".
As regards "saving it for later", for me it's important to have a physical expression that is unique to each relationship: the particular ways I cuddle, or we hug, or the places we kiss, or whatever, are special and not to be replicated (I feel the same about pet names: I don't understand recycling them from one relationship to another). I can very much understand that for some people anything that qualifies as "sex" should be unique to one relationship in their lives, but it doesn't work like that for me. So I certainly don't regret not having saved myself for some (probably mythical) one and only lover.
For me, as I think to many people, admitting someone into one's body (as the receptive partner in anal intercourse) is a very powerful emotional experience, and not to be undertaken except where there's already a very strong relationship. I *do* believe in "saving" it until one is very sure that both parties are in it for the long term - that kinda implies that I'm glad I didn't explore anal sex with the assorted schoolmates I messed around with in my teenage years.
(incidentally, the "quote" function didn't work properly for me on this; I had to add the terminal bbcode to close quote by hand)
[Updated on: Fri, 16 March 2012 12:02]
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King