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Capitalism around the world  [message #73144] Mon, 07 August 2017 03:02 Go to next message
Mark   United States

Really getting into it
Location: Earth
Registered: April 2013
Messages: 842



TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

AMERICAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with options on one more.
Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public buys your bull.

AUSTRALIAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

FRENCH CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

JAPANESE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

GERMAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

BRITISH CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

ITALIAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

RUSSIAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

SWISS CAPITALISM:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

CHINESE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

NEW ZEALAND CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
That one on the left is kinda cute.

[Updated on: Mon, 07 August 2017 03:03]

Re: Capitalism around the world  [message #73359 is a reply to message #73144] Sun, 03 September 2017 20:29 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Foggy is currently offline  Foggy   United States

Getting started
Location: PHILADELPHIA
Registered: July 2017
Messages: 7



As in-accurate you be, you bee stingingly bee funny.  THANK YOU !  OUCH ! 
(1) --- Please note that Karl Marx is NOT of any riot nor protest in France, nor any where else, not ever, none ever, is never an ant any where.   
(2) --- Please note that CAPITAL is is as old a word as BIBLE, as old as the Phoenician and as old as Jew.  Who, as we might think, take over the Phoenicians, [killing them all, ha ha ][Modern Book Keeping practice, ha ha ha, book keeTAping remaining ].  
{Jews are weird but not alone ... even the older Japanese so they calll a closet society has Chinese colonies {COOLIES, for word histories ! } for trade practical and, guess what, capital, gold and coal, ha ha ha )
3) --- CAPITAL is no mucha thing about any money, such a thing to do with nature no more than any more a grassy thing a bout the way of making a way of living.  .  Blame King Hidus for Keecpret Keepeng all the the gold,  but farming is not any more a guarantee than a diamond mine ... and feeds to no one its yield any more than its weeds.  Remember the failure of British bankers whole hold of much of the money notes for USA slaves going no-broke with USA slavery abolite.  Make money they do off freedom as well as.  Marx does desrcribe the wage slavery as well as he fails to out-smart Wall Street .. ha ha ha ha HAHHh !      
Re: Capitalism around the world  [message #73455 is a reply to message #73359] Wed, 27 September 2017 23:59 Go to previous message
rado84 is currently offline  rado84   Bulgaria

Getting started
Location: Bulgaria
Registered: September 2017
Messages: 9



No, the Russian capitalism is:
You have 2 cows of the same breed and kind you sell one to the Russians for $1 and sell the same cow to everyone else in the world for $60.



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