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First year  [message #74517] Mon, 02 July 2018 20:30 Go to next message
andypaz is currently offline  andypaz   Argentina

Getting started
Location: buenos aires
Registered: June 2016
Messages: 14



Christmas in June? 
Difficult to imagine such a thing happening...
But... receiving two stories by Cole Parker after 6 years in the same day...
Yes...definitively... it must be Christmas
Not only the short "Tennis anyone" but a 12 chapter story... "First Year"...
Already in the two first chapters appears it will be as good, even better, than "The Outcasts" which is the best story to be found in The Story Shelve.
Thanks to the author for his work, and also thanks to all who made it possible for us to read it.
Re: First year  [message #74521 is a reply to message #74517] Tue, 03 July 2018 19:15 Go to previous messageGo to next message
cole parker is currently offline  cole parker   Canada

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Location: California
Registered: July 2018
Messages: 1



Thanks, Andy.  Those are more than kind comments.  They're the sort to cause a life-threatening blush.

C
Re: First year  [message #74565 is a reply to message #74517] Tue, 17 July 2018 21:47 Go to previous messageGo to next message
American_Alex   United States

Getting started
Location: New York, upstate
Registered: October 2017
Messages: 25



I really like this story, even though I hate when the characters are filthy_stinking_rich, but here in the states it seemsonly the rich send their kids to "boarding schools". In "The Outcasts", it seemed more like a school that those of lesser means might send their boys to. Still I have a few points to make:

Firstly, given that his mother is on the board of the school, why would there be any discussion as to which school he would attend? Wouldn't it be nearly automatic? How or why did she GET to be on the board? And how does this add to the story? I just hate loose ends....

As for the headmaster character, he sems to be more developed than the headmaster in "The Outcasts". I really wanted to hear more if HIS background on that story. 

[Updated on: Tue, 17 July 2018 21:52]




"Able was I ere I saw Elba"
Re: First year  [message #74569 is a reply to message #74565] Wed, 18 July 2018 19:44 Go to previous message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13100



"American_Alex wrote on Tue, 17 July 2018 22:47"
I really like this story, even though I hate when the characters are filthy_stinking_rich, but here in the states it seemsonly the rich send their kids to "boarding schools". In "The Outcasts", it seemed more like a school that those of lesser means might send their boys to. Still I have a few points to make:

Firstly, given that his mother is on the board of the school, why would there be any discussion as to which school he would attend? Wouldn't it be nearly automatic? How or why did she GET to be on the board? And how does this add to the story? I just hate loose ends....

As for the headmaster character, he sems to be more developed than the headmaster in "The Outcasts". I really wanted to hear more if HIS background on that story. 

--

I think you are paraphrasing an important part of literary criticism, something very different from a story review. A lit crit often asks "What does this add to the plot? Does it move the story forward?" and advises the author where it appears to add nothing or move the plot not at all.

I am not making that criticism of this tale, nor, I think, did you know that this is an extremely valuable tool that you are using.

An author may use stratagems to fill in a back story in a manner just sufficient to clue us in to the fact that there is a back story, or may choose to fill it in fully. The question is then 'at what point do we rely on what the author has allowed us to see, even if the details are sparse?'

Does the hero's parent need to be wealthy?

To send him to this school then she does.

Does she need to be on the board?

The plot says yes. It makes parts of it posisble

Do we need to know why she is on the board?

I have no idea at all.

Does the head's character need more flesh?

The answer depends on whether you are simply curious or whether more flesh drives the plot forwards, adds value.

The thing is that these answers will be subtly different depending upon the frame of reference person asking them, which is a thing that makes a true lit crit so hard. We can all review a tale. Take Harry Potter as an example. We all know it's a ripping yarn. We also know that Rowling wrote it tightly in books 1 - 3, and then started to write by the pound weight rather than always writing things that added to the plot. The books 4 and beyond could have been halved in weight without harming the plot. Indeed, had she done it well, it would have helped the plot no end.

But it is still a ripping yarn, despite a whole lot of padding and fluff, and multiple helpings of deus ex machina. I enjoyed reading that tale despite needing to skim read huge tranches.

With Cole's writing I know it's tightly written in the main. Unlike you I don't need the mother's back story (I use her as an example). But I woudl welcome it if Cole made it add value to the plot and drive it forwards.

[Updated on: Wed, 18 July 2018 19:47]




Inconsistent use of capital letters is the difference between Bobby helping Uncle Jack off a horse, AND Bobby helping uncle jack off a horse!
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