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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Much of the difficulty smith has outlined I believe is due to the morrose nature of a majority of some recient posts.....
Therefore I suggest we all work enmasse to lighten things up here.
David (in Thiland).... where is your funny of the day????
Lenny.... where are your wonderful vignettes of life in Lennyland????
Tim.... I think it is time for one of your polls......
Kevin.... What words of wisdom can you impart on this weary multitude???
smith.... What happened in skool today????
OK.... All the rest of you.... crack those knuckles.... and think of something bright and sunny to make all us old farts shine like new....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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that would be a good portion of my fault, and i'm sorry for that. but trust me folks, i have just as many funnies as i do non-funnies -- the ode to my laptop? that was JUST the beginning. 
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13752
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I don't like the word "fault" much. It is so negative
You have every right to post pain here. It is what it is for. And joy as well.
The thing I have also found is that those of us who need the most to post our pain hide it behind a suit of armour
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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And sometimes the armor is very very thick....
Huge group huggs.....
Now lets not go getting all morrose again....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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smith
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On fire! |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 1095
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Today was Writing 101 day. I have to take it before I can take any classes that have to do with actual writing ::-)
Today we listened to this really boring teacher drone on about parts of speech and how to make a paragraph interesting.
I sat absently sketching this cute guy who was sitting by the window constantly running his fingers through his hair and making up scenarios about throwing him on the teacher's desk and um.......fixing his hair 
Our assignment tonight is to write a paragraph putting a colorful adjective in front of every noun we use. "The ugly man sat on the wooden bench watching the happy children throw an orange ball high into the azure sky." Maybe I should write my paragraph about the cute hair guy: "Over by the dusty window, a hot guy sat running his sexy fingers through his soft chestnut hair.............."
My day at school? boring !! JJ
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Well, I guess I knew it was coming.
I was just waiting for it.
The day Conor couldn't keep his mouth shut.
Last Friday, I was approached at school by an acquaintance, who asked if a rumor was true that I told a guy that I liked him. I brushed it off, and he said he didn't believe it anyway. The next night, I was at a birthday party, and in front of 5 other good friends, a friend told me that someone told him that I had a crush on Conor. That hit me like a brick. I mean, the first confrontation was vague and could've been made up, but this one was specific and dead on. Once again, I brushed if off, and once again, everyone said they didn't believe it.
The way I broke it down, I determined who Conor told. Not surprisingly, this kid has a history of spreading rumors. But he's cried "Wolf" way too many times to be trusted anymore, and that's why nobody's believing it. His reputation is one of telling lies.
No one's mentioned it since Saturday night, though. I hardly got any sleep over the weekend due to worry. I'm feeling better about it, and I feel like it'll become yesterday's news pretty soon, and it'll blow over. But wow, it was a scare as to who I can trust...
And Ryan will never know.
I had to restrain myself from telling my parents, especially my mom. I want to tell her, but I realize that these are her worst fears. That people with cruel intentions will find out and hurt me. I don't want to be hurt. I don't want my family to be hurt, either. God, I hope this blows over.
But, I'm feeling much better about it...all I want to know is why he did it. But I can't ask him. Not yet.
So, that covers smith's "fear of being outed at school" point.
-Tom
"Whatever is sought for can be caught, you know,
whatever is neglected slips away."
Oedipus Rex, lines 126-127
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Steve
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Really getting into it |
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465
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or the "religion" thread. Before anyone's hair begins to stand on end let me assure you that this was told to me by a friend who was studying for the priesthood in a RC seminary. It is told here only in ordre to bring a gentle smile to your face. (And Timmy, you'd better tell Megaman what happens when someone wants to write "" - see below :-/.
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10) We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me".
12) The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.
13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's , not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
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Dread has to be one of the hardest emotions to bear...it feels like a 50 pound boulder just sitting in the pit of your stomach.
Dread leads us to worry about every little thing being a sign that the "Dreaded Something" has popped up again, ambushing us just when we were about to forget it and start enjoying life again.
Cures for dread and worry and anxiety are tough to come by. Friends help us forget for a while. Planning what you'll do if worse comes to worst and the dreaded thing actually happens is a good idea. Then when the obsessing starts again in your head, you can remind yourself that you have a plan.
Hugs, friend Tom...many, many hugs...
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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Good laughs help any time, Steve...thanks again...::-)
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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OK so both you and smith as well as others are afraid of being outed at school...I can't help but wonder why? Being gay is part of who you are, and I don't know about you but I don't like "hiding" who I am. I do understand that we don't live in an incredibly accepting socitety but doesn't it hurt you just as much to have to hide it? I'm also interested to know what kind of school district you live in/attend (Urban,suburban, rual....) and about how many kids are in your schools as well as what grades are in your building. (Just doing a little reasearch into my future career  )
((((hugs))))
Danielle
"To the world you may be but one person, but to one person you may be the world!"
"Some people love you and some hate you.. those who hate don't know what they're missing and they're missing out!"
"Never underestimate your power to change yo
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Steve
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Really getting into it |
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465
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Sometimes the fear is not for ourselves but because of possible/probable repercussions on those we love. "No man is an island". Tom, smith and others - such truly wonderful young people - have their valid reasons, you may be sure.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13752
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Being outed happens.
Several ways of handling it.
http://iomfats.org/lifestory/outed.htm is what I did.
Another Tom who posts here sometimes gritted his teeth and agreed. And found he was a hero. Different places, different times.
The main thing is to ensure that your reaction gives the message you want to give. Aggressive denial reinforces the "Yup, he is gay message. Laughing leaves peole in confusion and disarray, provided you laugh at yourself. "Hey, he is good looking, isn't he?" defuses quiet a situation.
The thing is, one day, to be happy, you will need to live who you are. Only you can know when that day will be.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13752
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Not all locatiosn worldwide are tolerant of people who are different.
Being gay makes you very different in some people's eyes. "An abomination in the sight of the Lord!"
"Goodmorning, Pastor, I am an abomination in the sight of the Lord," makes a very interesting introduction. Being gay in Saudi Arabia is not only dangerous, it's life threatening. And in other Muslim states with a more fundamentalist view it means you live in terror. being gay in nazi Germany, oddly unless you were a high ranking SS official or were extrememly cute and Aryan, was life threatening. Being gay in 1960s britain usually meant hormone treatment, ECT and so much more.
So, little wonder that today's generation is afraid of coming out.
What if you live in redneck Hicksville, USA? You can get tied to a fence, beaten and left to die.
And in other places, just down the road from there, being gay and holding hands in the street is accetpable, and welcomed.
It hurts like hell to hide. I think all of us who have hidden are damaged in some way. And sometimes we hide from ourselves. If you once say and mean "I am gay", then you define all the things you cannot have. Totally terrifying, especially since orientation fluctuates throughout your life, sometimes over a narrow and sometimes a wide scale.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Thank you for this morning chuckle!
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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As I read through this post (after reading and responding to smith's that is, I always seem to hit his first) I kinda got a litte choked up. I read further down and was concerned for a friend. Later still a good laugh.
One thing that seemed to stick in my head (and a little in my heart) through this entire thread, was that the people here is what makes this place so special. It's really all of you.
I could go on and on about each of you. Your strengths, wisdome, courage, and loving hearts give me hope, not just for our future, but everyones.
I am more hopeful now than ever that those who posted here have set us on a course for a cure to what was ailing us.
For that I thank you all, you are my family.
Much Love and happiness to you,
Kevin
P.S. Brave Tom, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep smiling.
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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No Message Body
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Is give you a big hug and tell you that everything will be all right....
Connor obviously has issues he is wrangling with... Perhaps it is fear... Or doubt... Or is wondering about "why"...
It might have been a slip of the tongue...
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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No Message Body
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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robert bryce
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Really getting into it |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 414
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us lions are on strike ringmaster and were gonna play and have fun....rob
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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No Message Body
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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or:
stop, stop, STOP. just stop it. everyone needs to stop it. i swear i'm going to go insane. this is NOT fair to anyone else who has to watch it, who has to FEEL IT. didn't ANYONE read what smith said? doesn't anyone CARE?
i know, okay? yeah. i haven't been here long, if anything i'm just a neighbor or a cousin or 2nd cousin to this "family" but god damnit. i think of smith as a little brother, dani as a sister and rich a father and lenny that friend who you'd call up late at night to giggle about things and kevin, kevin you're a guardian and everyone else i've yet to get to know, want to know better, want to know those i DO know better, and this IS NOT FAIR TO ANY OF THEM. it's not fair to me, to those involved who cannot HELP but respond, to those who have to slink to silence and watch it, it's just not fair, not right. please stop. please?
PLEASE. :'-(
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
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No Message Body
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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robert bryce
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Really getting into it |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 414
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i tried to post just how much pain i was in and timmy shot me down...rob
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13752
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No, I did not shoot you down. I deprecated your behaviour. If you want to share the real pain you are in, share ahead. Hitherto you have exhibited two distinct and diametrically opposed behaviours.
One is helpful, sweet and gentle.
The other is harder to express in a few words without being offensive in the words I choose, but I will attempt it. You are in great pain, and have many issues. Instead of talking about them you attack. Attacking is a behaviour designed, perhaps subconsciously, to keep us away, to insulate us from the real you. And those attacks are driving us away. In another place you are more vitriolic than here, which behaviour, if brought here, will result in your leaving.
You will notice that I am commenting in your behaviour, not on your pain. I will always deprecate behaviour such as the negative behaviour you exhibit so often.
I have seen that you have moderated your more challenging behaviours here, and I applaud that. But it is not happening to a great enough degree, nor with sufficient speed. The rest must happen now. I mean now. Like the turning of a switch.
You ask why I allow others liberty and licence. The answer is that I know so much about those others and their reasons for their unusual behaviours, and I seek to allow them to heal. In the same way I seek and have sought to allow you to heal. You cannot see, but others can, the extreme licence I have given you to create mayhem in this process. For you that licence is now at an end. Others are treated individually, too. So this is an individual message, written in public.
There will be no more "poor me" stuff, and no more attacks, traps, sophistry, psychological tricks. I have asked so often that peole have told me I am insane to allow you the leeway I have already. This is no longer a request. It is an instruction, and a final warning shot. Break this injunction and you break my trust for that second time. Feel at total liberty to talk about the real reasons you are here, and do it within that framework.
Or, for the avoidance of doubt, "Shape up or ship out. Do either, and do it now."
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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My Day at School by smith J 
Dread 
Danielle, 
*Laughs* I liked #14 the best! 
Re: Thsi place is also to be safe to hurt in 