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How can you tell when your in a relationship that is bad for you? They say "relationships take work", so how do you know when your just supposed to work at it, or end it and be alone again?
Are their signs we can look for? And what if we love the person but know he/or she is bad for us?
Any words of wisdom would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Kevin
 ?? 
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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If you give a sigh of relief when you part, it is bad for you.
If every time you see him you have to wonder what "IT" will be this time, then it is bad for you.
If you had to ask this question, then it is probably bad for you.
When it is good, you know without question.
One is the lonliest number.
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When you are in a good relationship, you still have to work on it.
Hard, very very hard.
One is the lonliest number.
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I would have to agree with "No one Special" with the added line of when you meet up with this person do you still get that happy feeling. meaning that you are happy to see them again? if not it is probably not a good thing:-/
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i have to agree with the signs that special has given, because i've seen those (both felt myself, and picked up from people i've been in relationships with) myself, and they are always key.
if the good begins to outweigh the bad, or even mediocre, to the point it either can't be fixed, or you don't want to (or the other doesn't), that is a sign.
yes, even good relationships take work, but when the work is more detrimental than anything else, or there is continued stagnation and more wondering than wonderment, then it might not be the best situation.
miss talking to you, by the way. :-/
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
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Not an easy question you ask, Kevy. Mostly because relationships are a lot like the people involved in them: each one different, each one with his/her/its own unique qualities and needs.
For the most part, I know it's over when I can honestly say to myself that it isn't worth the pain anymore. That no matter how much effort I add, something just isn't clicking properly. It's hard to judge just when you hit that point, but you know what, once you've gone past it, you know it so well you almost end up kicking yourself for not seeing it.
As for working on a relationship, everyone knows that it takes not only constant attention and constant devotion, but a sense of knowing when to put more work in and when to give your partner a breather. One of the most underemphasized aspects of a relationship is the down time. The "just me" time. We all need to be held, to feel special, to bond with our loved one, but we also need a moment to center ourselves again. To touch base with our own insides. Forgetting to do that for yourself as well as your partner leads to a smothering feeling. Look for the signs and know when to back off a bit.
However, the best thing you can do, for both of you, is to be almost brutally honest with each other and maintain good communication. It's one thing to say "I love you," all the time. It's just as important to say "I feel angry when you do this," or "I feel lost when you don't tell me about this." If you want a relationship to work, you have to be willing to be open about your feelings to the point of being vulnerable about them. And sure, that leaves you open to pain sometimes, but truth early on will save lots of pain, arguments and heartache later, on both sides. Gentle brutality, I call it. Just remember that others have feelings too. So lay it all on the line and explain it all as well as you can, just don't drop the hammer on your loved ones. Put it down gently.
I hope that helps some, Kevy. Not sure of the particulars here, but I get the sense that this isn't just a problem that cropped up recently. With any luck you can figure it out, talk it out and then see what happens from their.
Cya on the other side,
D'Artagnon
It's not the wolf you see you should fear, but all the ones he howls with. Don't be afraid of the song, but don't piss off the choir.
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You know it's time to say goodbye when every day, you dread to see that person. You know it's time to break-up when you try to hide yourself.
You now a relationship needs work when you look at someone, and want to puke, but still can't walk away.
You said when you'd die that you'd walk with me every day
And I'd start to cry and say please don't talk that way
With the blink of an eye the Lord came and asked you to meet
You went to a better place but He stole you away from me
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Kevy, If you are the only one working on the relationship... or striving to make it work.. then odds are it is bad.
If you are unable to be who you are... without having to give up who you are in any way... then it is a bad relationship.
If you are unable to focus on living your life because of the 'drama' then it is a bad relationship.
And if you are so tired and burned out being in the relationship without him putting into it too, then it is a bad relationship...
But if you both are able to communicate, to talk, still able to look at each other and remember what was once there... if you both have the desire to make it better or restore your relationship to what was once there, and can work through the difficulties... or just flat out still love each other but have kind-of lost your way, then maybe it is a good relationship but just needs some TLC.
Hope that helps a little, Kevy.....
Huge Hugs,
BamBam
Celebrate your life... embrace your love... Become intimate with your place in forever !!!
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