|
|
smith
|
 |
On fire! |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 1095
|
|
|
Every Christmas, elementary schools all have little shops where kids can buy overpriced junk for presents for their family and the school can profit. I suppose that's all well and good if it gets a new water fountain.
My Mama asked me to help at their Santa's Shop cause you can't get parents to do diddly anymore. The kids come through, look at the junk and squander their money. Some of the kids, in their Tommy Hilfiger and Diesel, will have $25-$50 in their pockets.
I went to go get this class of 3rd graders (that's like 8/9 year olds). All the kids who had money came with me. There was this one little boy who looked scruffy and needed a haircut bigtime. The kids were all buying junk 'they' wanted.......not one word about Mama or Daddy or sister. This one little kid hung back, so I asked him what he wanted. He showed me this ring for $3 and said it was for his Mama. He only had $2 all wadded up in his hand. He looked so sad. The other kids heard the lady tell him he didn't have enough and they started teasing him. You could tell it was an old story for the poor little guy.
I guess my point is...these kids had $25-$50 or more and not one offered that little guy a dollar. They had bags of plastic junk that would be broken before the day was over but he had nothing for his Mama. Of course Jose got the ring (mysteriously, when he and I counted again there was one more dollar) but it was just so sad.
When I took them back to the class, the teacher said that anyone who wanted to wrap their gifts for their families could do it at the back table with pretty paper. Only Jose and one little girl had bought anything for their Mamas and he seemed to be embarrassed even to be wrapping it.
You can't defend them by saying 'they're just children'. That doesn't wash. At eight years old, you can look in someone else's eyes and see the pain. I've heard people say that kids are like that so they can learn to "take it" when they're grown. Poor Jose was building his walls; I could hear them going up.
That's all......not much in the scheme of things but I hated it.
smith
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
smith, my daughter has the "santa secret shop" at her school too, and last year i volunteered to help out, and saw the SAME THING. i gave up gas money and measly meaningless spending money to make sure she had money, because i know how bad kids can be about those who are not as "rich" as they are.
shi has come up knowing that money doesn't come easy. we're not poor, but we are NOT well off by any means. i'm on welfare for one more year, maybe even i can get off it this summer finally. anyway, she knew that the thirty dollars i gave her (so she could have money for a present for me, her lame father, my mother and father, and my brother--her immediate family, AND herself--five a piece) was precious. usually i try to make sure she has at least 3 dollars for everyone she wants to buy for.
last year, i watched her out of the corner of my eye (because i wasn't supposed to watch, see, so i didn't see what she got me!), and watched her METICULOUSLY make sure she got for all her family first, before she picked something for herself. this year, she came home with change, which was shocking--which means if something she picked didn't come to five dollars, she didn't turn around and spend it on herself. which shocked the HELL out of me, because i know how the kids work, i've seen it, and was very surprised she wasn't swayed (since she gets sooo upset any time she is teased for anything).
so there's always exceptions to the rule, but it's rare, and it makes me sick. kids come up thinking money grows on trees, and things will always be handed to them; they scoff at the "poor kid," and then one day they're going to find out how it really works. their parents will die, or get sick of supporting them. then THEY will be the poor kid, wishing someone will help them out, yet i bet they still forget about little Jose.
i too, don't buy into the "they're just kids," motiff. i admit that sometimes i spoil shiloh. i admit that this christmas, while not getting an excessive amount of things, she's getting two VERY extravagant gifts. but i also will firmly say that she knows it's not always like that. she remembers a christmas i could only get her two things. she never ONCE complained, or whined, or pulled the "oh but i wanted THIIIIIIIIIS," thing. i have taught her from the start that thigns do not come easy, and when you get extra, you better appreciate it. it's not a hard lesson to teach--i don't get why other parent's don't. i just don't.
she gets an allowance, 2 dollars a week for keeping her room clean, cleaning after herself in the bathroom or kitchen, and feeding the cats and watering them. some days, if we are at the store, and it's been a hard week for both of us, or she's been an angel when i've been stressed, and she sees a small toy, i will get it for her. but if it's close to an allowance day, i'll tell her, "it's this or allowance." and she'll choose. she ALWAYS says thank you.
most imporantly, for all she's given when i do fall into "spoil stints," she gives back. for such a tiny girl she's been my rock. you remember maybe, i posted a poem forever ago that she wrote me just because. she was nearly bouncing out of her chair last night when we wrapped the presents for my parents and my brother, and her father. i didn't give her money to buy her father's girlfriend (practically her stepmom except he'll never marry) a present, but i did give her supplies and stickers to make a very elaborate card. she has them under the tree and arranges them often, talking about how she cannot wait to see them.
on christmas evening (she doesn't believe in santa-kind of hard with seperate families and her having SIX different places to have to go to between xmas eve and xmas day) when we open things here? the past three years she gives me and my mother our gifts first, holds her first one, and waits until we've opened ours.
(now watch with my luck she'll become a horrid teenager who hates me, for these years where i wonder just how someone as screwed up and psychotic and messed up as i am has raised a girl so gracious and giving and selfless and caring, heh)
no, it's not a hard lesson to teach. i didn't have to break my back to instill this in her, i didn't have to drill it in her head, yell at her or threaten to take things away if she didn't appreciate it. know what i did?
i just talked to her. that's all. treated her like a human, and not some insignificant burden i can get off my back for an hour by buying her fancy things.
it was said best in the movie "parenthood" --
"you need a license to get a gun, to drive a car ... hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. but they'll let any asshole be a father."
...or a parent.
okay, off my rambly soapbox, hehe. the point is smith, i know just what you're talking about. i've seen it and it's not pretty .. but the barrel of rotten apples doesn't always taint the one that is still fresh and clean (even if it has a tougher exterior to keep the bad things out).
i'm glad though, that YOU were there to help Jose out. 
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
e
|
|
On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
|
|
|
Unfortunately we don't support our schools the way they should be supported in this country so they are more or less forced to become "stores," "advertising agencies," "junk food restaurants," etc just to raise money for things that tax dollars should be paying for. Sad.
While no one should dver buy "their only kids" as an excuse for bad behavior, it is important to understand that this behavior is normal for children. Particularly at that age, children are trying to learn independence and gain a sense of self worth and confidence. Picking on weaker or less fortunate children is a very easy way to establish one's self as superior and thus increase confidence and feelings of self worth. However, equally imnportant is how we as adults and authority figures respond to this behavior. While it may be normal for children to pick on each other, it should never be tolerated. Instead, adults and authority figures need to teach children how to gain confidence and a sense of self-worth without picking on others who may be weaker or more vulnerable. This is a time when teaching societal norms and values is critical. A child of that age must be taught values and how to live with others. This does not necessarily mean that the child needs to be punished, but does mean that the behavior needs to be addressed and perhaps redirected into something more constructive. The child can then gain confidence, self-worth, and establish an independent personality while learning to understand the difference between right and wrong and learn a sense of fairplay that will allow him to live productively within society. Far too often, children act normally and tease each other, but adults fail in their responsibility as teachers and fail to address this behavior.
smith, I'm certain that your actions in helping the little boy "find" that extra dollar went a long way towards helping him learn a bit about values and things that are important. Perhaps quite a bit in the scheme of things. Good job!
{{HUGS}}
Think good thoughts,
e
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
 |
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
Situations in a school environment that do little more than emphasize class differences should be illegal.
The school administration should be dragged out into the parking lot and summarilly pelted with those cheap and poor excuses for gifts.
Just a suggestion.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Trying on the Red Suit and Hat, there, smith? LOL
Actually, that was probably the best thing I've heard all day. That pretty much gave me a lift to get on with what I had to do. Thanks for sharing that, smith, and thanks for being a light in the darkness. Little Jose isn't the only one you've helped today, but it's good to know that there are others out there that will give a little to make someone else feel a whole lot. And while he may be building those walls, you at least helped him put in a window.
It's not the wolf you see you should fear, but all the ones he howls with. Don't be afraid of the song, but don't piss off the choir.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Steve
|
 |
Really getting into it |
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465
|
|
|
smith, you had what's called 'a teaching opportunity' there. Why didn't you use it? I'm sure they would have listened to you - certainly more than they would have listened to their teacher (who sounds as if she missed a teaching opportunity too).
BTW, that dollar mysteriously manifesting itself - whoever worked that magic has earned his place in heaven.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Guest
|
|
On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
|
|
|
smith,
it is an old old story. kids learn what their parents teach them is needed to live in the world. some kids, by the warmth that is in their hearts are that little bit different, it appears you came across one.
I saw this same sort of thing a long while ago, 5 years to be exact. a little boy who was getting over a very sad part of his life sold something he had to buy his father something special for christmas. it was more special because of the sacrifice on the boys part. that boy forgot his own troubles for just a little while so his dad could have a special something.
that remains forever vivid in my recollections. many tears were shed because of a simple act of selflessness from a boy who had more on his back than john bunyan.
thank you smith for seeing past the dollar signs. one day a good father will you make.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If I were King ...
Teachers would impress on kids compassion for other kids and kids that are different. Not a small task by any means.
Thanks for finding that third dollar for him, it proves to me that you learned compassion a long time ago.
You would indeed be a prince or princess, whichever you prefer.
May love find your heart today sweet smith,
Kevin
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
i would actually go out and vote.
no, i do vote on local things like millages and stuff, but when it comes to govenors and presidents, i can't weed through all the mudslinging to make an actual educated decision.
last presidential election i wrote in a vote, and you don't want to know who it was.
i wish i could register independent or socialist. except oddly, i didn't have that choice when i re-registered in this district when i moved back home. it was republican or democrat and NOTHING else. what gives?
i really, REALLY need more sleep today or i'm going to wind up with like 1000 posts today. please excuse me! ::-)
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I am supporting the former Governor of Vermont. He has the distiction of being the only Governor so far to sign Civil Unions in his state. That law gave gays and lesbians the same rights as a married couple, unfortunately only in that state. I decided to support him a long time ago for that reason and quite a few others, though at the time I never thought he could possibly win the nomination. Now he is the front runner. Amazing.
Make no mistake, I will support whoever wins the nomination to defeat the fascist that is in the White House now.
Everyone over 18 that is a US citizen, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE vote.
Kevin
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I'm supporting Clark.
But You have my promise, Kevin, that as an 18-year-old US citizen, I will do all that I can to oust the fascist from office.
You said when you'd die that you'd walk with me every day
And I'd start to cry and say please don't talk that way
With the blink of an eye the Lord came and asked you to meet
You went to a better place but He stole you away from me
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
As long as you make your voice heard my sweet boy, you wil have my thanks no matter what your view is.
Peace and love,
Kevin
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Steve
|
|
Really getting into it |
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465
|
|
|
After I made that comment I found the following:
TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPIL: A teacher...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
what is this governor's name? i forgot--and didn't even know he was a front runner. erp.
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Howard Dean
You said when you'd die that you'd walk with me every day
And I'd start to cry and say please don't talk that way
With the blink of an eye the Lord came and asked you to meet
You went to a better place but He stole you away from me
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Former Vermont Governor Howard Dean
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Thanks Chris .... er ... I mean Christopher
Hugs,
Kevin
 ::-)
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I know, Kevin. :-*
I just wanted to give you a hard time...
You said when you'd die that you'd walk with me every day
And I'd start to cry and say please don't talk that way
With the blink of an eye the Lord came and asked you to meet
You went to a better place but He stole you away from me
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You always do love ....
MMMUUUUWWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHH
hehe
talk to ya soon,
Kevin
:-*
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
|
|
|
|
|
Goto Forum:
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
Must be Santa 
Re: Rant on the Cruelty of Children 
:'-( 
:-[
:-*
I know 