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Steve
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Really getting into it |
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465
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I found a poll on a site for Israeli gay youth. (There's no point in giving the URL because the site is in Hebrew.) The poll is on the question: at what age should one come out of the closet. The following were the options:
By 40
By 30
By 20
Never
Closet? What's that?
It would be interesting to know the thoughts of people on this MB too.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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There is no steadfast rule that one should be out of the closet by a certain age.
It is a personal choice regulated by each individual's personal set of circumstances.
This being the case, I will have to say never "should" someone be out of the closet.
But I do hope we all "can" be out of the closet.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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There's no rule here, absolutely not. Last year, Sweden's representative to the UN, ex-French ambassador, ex-director of the department of foreign affairs and ex-cabinet secretary (amongst other things, no doubt), Sverker Åström, came out of the closet at age 87. He was henceforth elected Mr. Gay Sweden 2004, but I don't know if he has a boyfriend yet. 
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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Please do not make my answer into more than it is. It is only about my personal experience.
In my opinion the age to come out is NOW.
I only wish I had shed those lies earlier in my life. they caused me and the people that cared about me then so much pain. It's like buying a house, the best time is now because tomorrow it will be more expensive.
Just my two cents, all I could afford ... hehe.
Kevin
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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I'd rephrase it and say "The time to think about coming out is NOW". Weigh up all the outcomes, the probability of each outcome and what kind of impact the outcomes will have on you and those around you. If I lived in Hicksville, a small village of 1000 people (all of whom are related) in Southern USA with a staunch Christian homophobic family, but next week I was going to be moving to San Francisco out of home to study, then I'd say 'next week' makes a lot more sense than 'now'.
I agree with both 'now' and 'when you are ready'. You need to be aware of the situation, but I think the sooner the better. As soon as possible without it being too much of a negative thing. Ultimately I think one should never need to come out, everyone should just be treated totally equally, assumed to be bisexual. Choice of partner gender should even need to be commented on, one shouldn't need to come out. Again that an over idealistic though and I'd be lucky to see society progress so far before I die.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Next week might be safe..... but I would make sure I had my schooling paid in advance before I came out.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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True, yet another consideration. Fortunately for me I'm already out and my schooling is paid for by the government (in a round about way), not my Mum, so even if she tried to stop being involved in that respect (which she wouldn't, despite not liking me being gay) she'd have no say. That's one of the big problems with capitalist governments, it forces people to rely on their parents a lot more, even if their parents are dicks.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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At what age should one plan to come out of the closet? 
Hehe, I actually agree with you, Marc... 
