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Marc wrote:
I see the continual pressure those who profess pedancy as an attempt to bully posters into following your tune to the march...... I see this also as an effort to call other posters less than intelligent without actually coming out and calling them stupid as a post.... I see what you (and others) are doing as causing real damage to the atmosphere of this board.... I see your movement as inhibitive to lurkers that otherwise might post....
Dear Marc,
Even though the above remarks were not addressed to me I shall relate to them. I am sorry that I was the cause of your becoming grumpy with everyone. I am going to go into 'lurker' mode for a while in order for you to have the opportunity to show everyone on the board - regulars and lurkers alike - that you really can be a very pleasant person when you choose.
I shall miss posting every now and then, but I now understand that my presence as one of the self-styled pedants distresses you, so I shall not give you any further cause for distress.
Be well and be happy.
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13780
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Well, this is special so far. Not.
OK, it has an issue on the table. That's fine. As long as we can discuss it with politeness and without flames.
What saddens me is not the forthright and polite, albeit diect, posts between people here. It is, instead, the use of "I won't be here for a bit", howveer well intentioned, and I know it is well intentioned.
You see that starts to look like "If you are here then I will not be", whatever the intention was when it was posted. And that is an error. Firts it is allowing someone else to conrol you. Not good. Second it is (though not in this case) a way of seeking to control someone else. Also not good.
All here, lurkers and posters alike, know I do not react well to such things, but that I usually hold my silence and watch things develop.
I am not going to comment on the discussion in hand. I think that needs to run its course, provided it is gentlemanly.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Marc,
>I see it a bit different..... I see the continual pressure those who profess pedancy as an attempt to bully posters into following your tune to the march......
I am attempting to bully people? I was not intending anything of the sort. On the other hand, I would call your continuous and very rude attempts to scupper any thread with which you do not agree a prime example of bullying.
Marc, I understand you have issues, but to pretend that this problem is all caused by other people is going too far, even for you.
>I see this also as an effort to call other posters less than intelligent without actually coming out and calling them stupid as a post....
For fuck's sake, it would perhaps be that if I corrected your posts all the time, but I don't because I respect that you don't want to be corrected. However, by your double standards it seems to be fine for you to criticise the style of my posts.
>I see what you (and others) are doing as causing real damage to the atmosphere of this board....
I'm sorry, Marc, but there is more to this board than what you make of it. Has it ever occurred to you that you get away with much more here than everyone else? That every time you post a rude comment -- perhaps just a couple of throwaway lines as far as you're concerned -- that someone is actually hurt at the other end? Perhaps you just don't care.
>I see your movement as inhibitive to lurkers that otherwise might post....
JFR is one of the few people on this board I can always be sure will post insightful, intelligent and sympathetic posts.
David
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When I seldom post anything here it is not because I have been bullied out of this place or that someone's pedantry puts me off. I simply haven't had much time for more than lurking around, reading some of the posts here. Pedantry in the form it is usually presented here, usually with a sizeable portion of humour, is a positive challenge to my own attitudes and ideas about things, which is one of the reasons why I keep returning to this place.
Please stay, JFR!
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Just curious. How do you always get the message to appear again in italics?
Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?
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Just add a > at the beginning of the line.
>Like this.
Alternatively, if you don't want the > you can add <i> at the beginning of the section you want to make italic and </i> at the end of it.
David
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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JFR wrote:
>
> Dear Marc,
>
> Even though the above remarks were not addressed to me I shall relate to them. I am sorry that I was the cause of your becoming grumpy with everyone. I am going to go into 'lurker' mode for a while in order for you to have the opportunity to show everyone on the board - regulars and lurkers alike - that you really can be a very pleasant person when you choose.
>
> I shall miss posting every now and then, but I now understand that my presence as one of the self-styled pedants distresses you, so I shall not give you any further cause for distress.
>
> Be well and be happy.
Is this intended to be some sort of punnishment???
I was under the impression that there were no cliques here..... Or so I have been told on numerous occasions..... The frequent solicitation for "pendants" to post implies that those not inclined or those not a part of this group are not welcome..... I feel put off by the requests... I have for quite some time... Now, I know you all would be happier if I were to fade into oblivion... That scenerio has been too clearly impressed upon me...
I know it would be a nice pink and pretty world if everyone fell into step and followed the lead of the self appointed leaders of the pack but I am not built like that... When I have something to say, I am going to say it... If I feel something is wrong I am going to say it... If I am uncomfortable with a situation I am going to say it...
Does this mean that I am grumpy? Nope.... Not one iota.... Actually it makes me feel good that I can say what I need to say and for whatever reason.... It makes me feel safe in a strange convoluted way as well....
I guess that is kind of strange now that I actually said it..... but whatever...
Do I feel some sick sense of victory because you decided to fade into the shadows..... Nope.... Do I think that doing so is good for anyone..... Nope.... I actually feel saddened by what you said you was to do.....
Oh and one more thing.... Not all nice pleasant posts open people up.... Sometimes a miserable old son-of-a-bitch like me lets people know that there is no problem too large to stop by and talk about.... Sometimes people need to know that as fucked up as things seem it not only can get better but it could also be alot worse....
Just my opinion....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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You say:
"I see it a bit different..... I see the continual pressure those who profess pedancy as an attempt to bully posters into following your tune to the march."
OK - if this is what you see, explain WHY you think this way, and give examples - because, to be frank, I think that your view is completely unsustainable. As Deeej has alrady pointed out, your posts are more suggestive of bullying than anyone else's - no-one else resorts to rudeness as much as you do.
You say:
"I see this also as an effort to call other posters less than intelligent without actually coming out and calling them stupid as a post."
Again, WHY do you feel this way, and what evidence is there to support you?
I can't see any. Are you suggesting that other posters should dumb down for your benefit?
You say:
"I see what you (and others) are doing as causing real damage to the atmosphere of this board".
You are once again plucking an allegation out of the air. Have you noticed that in similar exchanges in the past not one other poster has come to your support?
You say:
"I see your movement as inhibitive to lurkers that otherwise might post."
Do you really? I cannot think of anything more off-putting than your negativity, rudeness and self-indulgence. Again echoing Deeej, you don't seem to care that your offhand and snide comments are hurtful to those against whom they are directed.
You say (in response to JFR):
"Is this intended to be some sort of punnishment???
I was under the impression that there were no cliques here..... Or so I have been told on numerous occasions..... The frequent solicitation for "pendants" to post implies that those not inclined or those not a part of this group are not welcome..... I feel put off by the requests... I have for quite some time... Now, I know you all would be happier if I were to fade into oblivion... That scenerio has been too clearly impressed upon me...
This reveals more about you than you imagine. The cliques exist only in your imagination. Most posters enjoy the friendship and humour of the exchanges on the board. No-one (so far as I can recollect over the last six years or so) has EVER suggested that you should fade into oblivion, although YOU have often alleged otherwise. I am not suggesting that now. All I ask is that you behave in a civilised manner.
You say:
"I know it would be a nice pink and pretty world if everyone fell into step and followed the lead of the self appointed leaders of the pack but I am not built like that... When I have something to say, I am going to say it... If I feel something is wrong I am going to say it... If I am uncomfortable with a situation I am going to say it...
Does this mean that I am grumpy? Nope.... Not one iota.... Actually it makes me feel good that I can say what I need to say and for whatever reason.... It makes me feel safe in a strange convoluted way as well....
I guess that is kind of strange now that I actually said it..... but whatever..."
The idea that there are self-appointed leaders is yet another figment of your imagination. There is no reason whatsoever why you should not disagree with someone else's point of view, but it is possible to disagree without being unpleasantly offensive. It seems that what you are claiming is not the right to expess a view - which no-one is denying you - but the right to indulge in selfish arrogance. It may make you FEEL safe, but it makes you LOOK immature.
You say:
"Do I feel some sick sense of victory because you decided to fade into the shadows..... Nope.... Do I think that doing so is good for anyone..... Nope.... I actually feel saddened by what you said you was to do....."
Does it occur to you that of all the posters there have ever been on this forum, no-one has left with a dramatic flourish more frequently than yourself? Though you have always returned - albeit without the dramatic flourish.
You say:
"Oh and one more thing.... Not all nice pleasant posts open people up.... Sometimes a miserable old son-of-a-bitch like me lets people know that there is no problem too large to stop by and talk about.... Sometimes people need to know that as fucked up as things seem it not only can get better but it could also be alot worse...."
That's a pretty unique suggestion, but why you should imagine that being a miserable old son-of-a-bitch is helpful to anyone - or indeed to yourself - defeats me completely.
***** ***** *****
I know that this post and my previous post will be something of an embarrassment to Timmy, and I regret that. However, you are insulting and hurting people whom I regard as my friends, and I cannot see that it is helpful to remain silent in such circumstances.
Whatever trauma you may have lived through a quarter of a century ago, it does not entitle you to be exempt from civilised standards of courtesy. It does seem to me that your main difficulty is twofold: you are far too absorbed with yourself and you can never admit that you are wrong. Consider the post started by JFR a few days ago, using the shower metaphor to congratulate Timmy on writing a new story for the first time in years. You obviously got the wrong end of the stick - and, to be honest, it didn't click with me at first. But when JFR explained his intention, instead of letting the issue drop, you said:
"Ok.....But not all of "us" that know Tim pay close attention to his writing schedual."
Well, Timmy has been your friend for a long time. Whether or not you read his stories, he has commented many times on the board about the loss of his 'muse'. Unlike you, I have never met Timmy face-to-face, but I have sufficient regard for him to pay attention to what he has to say. If you had an interest in the welfare of your fellow men, you would have known, too.
And in the exchange about roundabouts above, Timmy rather cleverly posted a link to Wikipedia and said 'I win'. It would have been so simple to make a joke of this and threaten payback later - but no, you simply continued to repeat your mantra.
I love this place. It has given me friends and so much more. I don't want to change it or make it less accesible. But there is no need for rudeness -ever - and I am upset because my friends were upset. I am not trying to exclude you or anyone else - I couldn't, even if I wanted to, because it's Timmy's board - but as I have often argued, freedom needs to be balanced against responsibility. Everyone is free to form his (or her) own opinion, but equally everyone has a responsibility to be civilised and courteous.
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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**claps*** I honestly believe that was now the longest post I have ever read on the board without skipping any lines Thanks for your thoughts
Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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You want to know something?
No...... I figure you don't.....
So I will just keep my comments to myself.....
....................
As for Tim..... Yes we are friends.... I guess.... I rarely see or speak to him online any more..... Just like the very few others I did converse with he has learned the value of the "invisible" button.....
Now...... regusrding his writing..... I had no idea he was writing in any form or for any reason..... He does not confide in me so there is no reason for me to know.....
As for the referance to JFR's comment...... Considering the post made on inferance to writing, I thought it was directed at me so I shot back.... It's what I do....
If you don't like it.... Well.... You know....
Now, that being said..... Nope..... I won;t say what I think about you.... I'll hold my tongue again..... Nope that don't work...... I'll bite down on it..... Hard..... very hard.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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NO!!!!!!!!! Damn it!!!!!!!!
I am going to tell you what I th........
Bite down hard......... hard.........
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13780
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Marc wrote:
> As for Tim..... Yes we are friends.... I guess.... I rarely see or speak to him online any more..... Just like the very few others I did converse with he has learned the value of the "invisible" button.....
I am not actually online chatting that much any more. Like you I work for me. Like you, times are hard. Like you I am trying to earn enough to keep my head above water.
But what I am not going to do is participate in this thread any more than that.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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I know you do and I have not an iotas problem with it.....
He brought it up and I was just explaining, not complaining.....
It's just that simple.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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The funny thing is that I just realized.....
Why in the bloody hell do I feel that I have to explain myself to him?
Hmmmmmmmmm.......
I guess I don't.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13780
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If I may say this without commenting on the content - hard to do, but I will not get drawn into the content here - it appears to be because he has made a point that probably warrants an answer. It does not require one, but it does provoke one, in that it causes sufficient thought about the subject matter to make one wish to say at least something.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Oh......
OK......
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... was to draw attention to the antisocial rudeness and negativity of your posts.
I do not propose to comment upon the post above. I have made my views clear and there is nothing more I can usefully say.
Your attitude is sufficient endorsement of my position.
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Nope...... I'll just bite my tongue.....
There are greater fish to fry.... by fishersmen ever greater than I....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Yawn.............
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... perhaps you would care to explain it? Courteously?
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Quite simple, I have more important things to do rather than engage in a pointless battle with you......
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... that you cannot construct any reasonable defence against my argument. I would suggest that nothing in your life could be more important than learning to behave like a civilised adult.
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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I would suggest a treatment for you as well.....
But I will just bite my tongue..... And wait.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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