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Some things annoy me about people. lol.
It's just annoying how every time people (not Asexual) are in a relationship, that they just HAVE to kiss eachother. lol. I dont like it. Cause it bothers me. ANd its not just that, its everything that comes after a kiss.
Sex TERRIFIES me! Dont ask me why, but it does. And I'm never having sex WITH ANYONE!
Anyway, if you want to comment, go ahead^^ I wont bite. If you want to ask me questions, then ask me. I'll be here for a bit.^^
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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What you say is interesting, and I'm almost tempted to do one of my 500-line profound replies! But it's better to talk TO you than to talk about the topic in general, and to do that I need to know a little more.
Sex means different things to different people, and there are quite a number of guys (or gals, for that matter!) who regard it as a relatively unimportant part of an otherwise satisfying relationship - so you're not out on a limb there! On the other hand, hugging and kissing are an integral part of most successful relationships - even those which never progress to heavier sex.
You say that seeing others kissing annoys you. You don't like it, because it bothers you, and you're obviously worried about what comes after a kiss. The short answer is that there's no rule which says that ANYTHING has to come after a kiss - but you're obviously thinking with a different mindset. Can you think about what goes through your mind when you see two people kissing? What, exactly, is it that bothers you? Whatever it is, I'll bet you're not alone!
If you'd like to e-mail me directly, that's OK but, if you feel you can do it, I think it's better to talk on the board. There are two reasons for this. Firstly, as I've already said, you are not alone and an open discussion may help others who feel as you do, and secondly the rest of the guys who post here have a wealth of experience between them, and - collectively - we'll all do our best to help.
Remember, all we know about you is what you put in your profile - you're in Canada, and you were 17 when you registered around four months ago. Your anonymity is as secure as you want it to be. I know from my own experience and from the experiences of lots of other guys that talking really does help, even if it's talk across the ether! Like the rest of us, I offer experience rather than professional expertise, but I promise unconditionally to help you if I can.
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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hey Cossie.
I added you to my MSN^^ *huggles*
talk to you soon, hopefully.^^
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Hi Josh - welcome back
It is quite OK to be scared of sex, or not to want to have sex. As cossie has said, sex is not a necessary part of a relationship for everyone, although some kind of physical communication of affection usually is. Indeed, my last relationship - of around a dozen years - did not include sex, because the other guy involved (who was 18 when we got together) was uneasy about it. But it was still much the closest and important relationship of my life (so far).
But most lover-type relationships do eventually include physical sex. And sex can be great. Someone once said "sex can be terrifying, but it can also be terrific!" But sex in the wrong place, or with the wrong person, or at the wrong time, or sometimes just sex itself, can be utterly scary as well, for all kinds of reasons. Some of the things that I've myself had problems with include fear of loss of control: (being drunk, being on a roller-coaster, abandoning intellectual control during sex ...); a revulsion for the physical aspects of sex - it is a pretty comical and messy business when considered objectively, after all! Or, actually, just a feeling that sex is somehow "wrong" ... a legacy from an abusive relationship in my early teens I've struggled to overcome. Or many other reasons.
Your feelings may of course be very different from any of these, and could be very mixed ... if you'd find it helpful to share some of what bothers you about sexual situations there are people here on the board who are very willing to listen. Or e-mail me off the board if you'd find that helpful.
Oh, and as for watching other people snogging ... YUK! Really not a spectator sport (IMO), and most Hollywood movies would be much better for having the close-ups of tongue-wrestling cut out!
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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This is so interesting. Where you see kissing as someting annoying and sex as scarry, I see it another way with limits. I kiss my best friend and his mom (on the cheek, get your mind out of the gutter guys). I find kissing is an affirmation of loving and caring. Sex is something you dont do on a whim. I imagine that with the right person, the one you want to spend your life with, sex is the total fulfillment of love. In a sence its a joining. Because of my home life and certain other things, I have been told by my shrink (yes I do see one, so get over it) that I have what is called skin hunger. That is a need to be held, because I never had that in my life, so I crave it. Im wondering why kissing disturbes you and why your scared of sex. You know how couriosity is.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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This is quite an interesting topic i suppose for me to bring up. lol.
I'm just not interested in placing my lips or tongue or whatever in another persons. To me, It's gross, and I always say "get a room" to my sister and her boyfriend when i see them kissing, cause it disturbs me in a way. I cant really explain it, but it's different I guess for me.
I have never been in a relationship in real life. Sadly, but true. I've had sone online relationships. One of which I still have today, just not as intimate. And theres another word that bothers me, is 'intimate.' I dont know why it does, but i bothers me.
It's like someone's saying 'lets get under the shets right now and DO IT.' lol. Like its such a casual thing that people dont even care anymore.
It just bugs me. Thats all. lol. Me, I would do perfectly fine with a no-sex relationship. It's not exactly bizarre wither. lol. Lots of people are Asexual (Asexual=a person who doesnt experience sexual attraction) and get alone with life just fine. lol.
I'm not too sure what bothers me so much about kissing/snogging and the rest of it. But for me, sex is a NO on my list of things I'd like to do. Of course if I were kidnapped like a pedo like I'm afraid I will be one day, then I'd have to be raped, cuase I wouldnt do it willingly. lol.
Anyway, comment more. I like comments^^
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Now that is interesting. Do you believe your going to be kidnapped by a pedo or your going to become a pedo? Not all boy lovers are pedos or rapest. Some actually never have sex with their boy.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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i believe a lot of things. some are good, and some are bad. I try not to focus on the bad things, but they're still in the back of my mind. And yes, I think about maybe being kdnapped by a pedo.
I already know that I am a pedo, for thinking the way I do, and everything...
If you dont know what I'm talking about, go here :
http://asexuality.org/discussion/viewtopic.php?t=17956&sid=c58e874620102e425a281f24dac2558d
It's a thread I started, and it talks about the problems I have and everything.
*huggles*
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Wow, you're having a tough time at the moment, aren't you Josh?!
But being attracted to a twelve-year-old (or even 12-y.o's in general) does *not* at your age necessarily mean that you're a "pedo" ... at least, not in an irrevocable and permanent sense. But I'm sure that I don't need to point out that acting on your current feelings would not be a good idea!
Do you mind if I ask if you yourself have ever been sexually abused, interfered with, or recieved inapropriate sexual attentions? The balance between wanting to love/protect kids and wanting to do sexual things with them, and tensions between wanting and fearing the attentions of an older guy/rapist/pedo can arise from that. I should know: I was the younger party in an abusive relationship when I was in my early teens, with a guy in his later teens (and it took help for me to fully face up to that - in this forum and elsewhere: see my posts some 18 months ago for details http://forum.iomfats.org/w-agora/view.php?site=forumiomfatsorg&bn=forumiomfatsorg_placeofsafety&key=1107478171)
I'm not going to judge - I spent years of my life wrongly worrying that I might somehow become a paedophile myself. But, Josh, it's important that you find someone / some people who you can talk to freely, and who you can respect. It is too big a burden to carry by yourself. If I can help in any way, I'm here - and I'm sure the same goes for others on this board.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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First of all, you certainly aren't a freak! Your situation is much more common than you realise.
I've read all the posts on the link you provided, and - if you are comfortable with the idea - I agree with the advice you were given suggesting that professional help would be beneficial. I don't say that because I think you have a major problem, but rather because it's much more effective to discuss things face to face. That way, the conversation can quickly change direction as different ideas crop up. Of course, that doesn't mean that I, and the others who post here, won't do our best to help you! I certainly endorse everything that NW has said.
So what do we know about you so far?
- You have some form of aversion to bodily contact.
- You show some signs of asexuality, but there are also contra-indications.
- You have, to some extent, a fear of sexual assault by an older person.
- You are attracted to boys somewhat younger than yourself.
- On the evidence of your poems, you feel deep emotions and even show signs of being romantic.
I'll comment on each of these in turn.
The bodily contact thing is a 'syndrome' - an accepted medical condition of which the cause has not yet been identified. It's not particularly common, but neither is it unduly rare. It seems to have a psychological origin, and usually responds to treatment. So no real problem there, provided that you have a family doctor whom you trust, and of course now that you are 18 your medical records are absolutely confidential. Just don't be afraid to seek help!
I don't really think that you are asexual; I suspect that the contact-aversion problem is the underlying difficulty. I make no claims to medical expertise, but I have loads of experience of people, and I suspect that if the first problem were to be addressed the second would be corrected automatically.
The fear of assault by an older person is again not unusual, but in practical terms you have now reached adulthood. You are outside of the usual age range for paedophiles, and thus the likelihood of an assault - whilst never impossible - is infinitessimal. Someone may well 'come on' to you in appropriate circumstances, but you will be free to say no.
Your attraction to young boys is the most difficult aspect, but ironically it is also the most common. Like homosexuality, paedophilia is a condition which is not chosen, and which probably cannot be changed - though I agree with NW that at 18 you are still too young to make a final diagnosis. The difference between homosexuality and paedophilia is that the former is progressively becoming more acceptable, whilst the latter is becoming ever more unacceptable. Both conditions are probably perfectly natural, and both are are at least as ancient as written records. There is, of course, a crucial division between the 'predator paedophile', who may be compared with a rapist - such behaviour is certainly deviant and indefensible - and the non-predatory paedophile, whose urge is to love and protect, rather than to despoil. In today's society, fuelled by press paranoia, even 'love-protect' instincts must be repressed and - surprisingly - this isn't all that hard to do. There are quite a number of posters to this site - myself included - who are to some extent 'love-protect' paedophiles, but that doesn't mean that we would ever act upon our attraction. So, at least in my opinion, there is nothing inherently wrong in looking at attractive young boys; what IS wrong is imagining yourself forcing them to do things against their will.
Finally, there is the personality which emerges from your poetry. Again, I stress that I claim no psychological qualification, but my impresion is that your poems reveal a perfectly normal guy (to the extent that any of us are perfectly normal!) who is trapped in an artificial world which is essentially (though not consciously) of his own creation. Put another way, I don't really think that you have any problems which cannot be overcome.
Before I end this post, can I ask you to let me know whether you recognised yourself in anything I said, and whether any parts (and, if so, which parts) of this response have been at all helpful? I'm very anxious to avoid misleading you, or any lurker confronting similar issues. I don't want to interfere unless I can help!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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Josh, Im not old enough to have a lot of experience in these matters. I do believe some things tho. first off you kissed a 12 year old boy, Whoopee, That doesnt make you a pedo. I find some younger boys attractive, some are good looking beyond awsome. Age is all relative. Im sure more than likely your dad was a bit older than your mother. Your older than me and you live in a part of the country that is more gay friendly. As far as being rapped, thats possible but I doubt it. One of these days your gonna meet a really cute boy around your age. Hes going to be fun and your best bud and you will think about him day and night and be misserable without him. Guess what? Hes gonna feel the same about you. If you dont, he is going to seduce you. All this worry over sex and kissing and such, will all of a sudden sort itself out.
As far as boy lovers are concerned. I know there are monsters out there who pray on kids to fill their own needs and dont care about the kid. The ones who take nude pics of their boys and post them on the internet and swap them, dont love the boy. I dont care how much the kid smiles and laughs, he is still being humiliated and will wonder in the future how many of those pics are still out there. Then there are the boy lovers who love unconditionaly. Nothing is required to buy his love. His only concern is to raise and protect the boy. But there is a problem here. The boy will grow up. Altho the man will still love him, he will lose interest in him and seek another boy. This will hurt the first boy and he will feel betrayed. So, there you have my rather skewed look at life. Boy Lovers serve a purpose but only a temporary one (to see the boy become an adult). For a long term love, the boy will need to find someone his age and gay or straight whichever he turns out.
I dont know if this helps or not. I spent a lot of time being chased out of chat rooms and MBs because I was too young. The adults didnt want to talk to a kid, they were afraid of being arrested, which is just plain dumb. I found this board, and it literally saved my life. these are the guys who will see me thru to adult hood, help me along the way and when I do get out on my own, I know they will be there for me. Ive found other MBs and they are nothing like this. Ive been in teen rooms and trust me they are useless. I dont care a thing about hip hop music and I try not to murder the english langueage or act all air headdy.
Well so much for this, Ive talked to long. Hope this has helped some, if it hasnt well I tried, at least from my point of view.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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hey Cossie.
first of all, what a long post. lol. twas very long^^
i read everything, but i can only now remember what you said about my poems.
You said there was a personality to them, and that i was lost in an artificial world.
Whats wierd is, that for me, everything is a form of escapism. lol. Watching movies, going for walks, writing poetry, watching anime, reading manga, reading in general, bsaically anything for me is a form of escapism.
I like escaping. Going rom this world into a different one. It's easier that way. heh. I've always wanted to get away from where i live, and since i cant do that literally, i watch movies or read manga or do other things.
So doing those things, helps me get into that artificial workd you were talking about.
aside from that im scared to get hlp, becuase i dont want to talk aobut my problems. it hurts too much for me to even bring them up, and i really dont want to have to go to a Psych ward or something becuase of how i feel, or whatever.
anyway..thanks for the comment^^ i appreciate it.
if your ever on MSN, we can talk sometime, if you'd like to.
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Hi Josh,
It's nice to hear from you again. I have to say, you and I seem to have quite a lot in common: I am frightened of intimacy, have no particular desire for sex with anyone (at the moment). I wish I could offer good advice, but as I have not yet found a proper solution I can't really do that. The best I can do is specify the practical options as I see them:
i. Lifelong abstinence. Personally, I don't like the idea of that: because I would like to have a partner whom I love unreservedly, and a family to care for one day.
ii. To find someone who is entirely sympathetic, unselfish, and loves you foremost as a friend. If you consider the idea of having a relationship it is entirely on your own terms. Thus you can test in a gentle and methodical way what it is that you object to. You may find that you are anxious more about the idea of sex than the actual practical application of it. This is what other people have told me -- I'm 22, but have not yet been in a relationship, in part because of my anxiety over intimacy.
On the subject of attractions, well... One thing that is important to remember always is that there is no such thing as a 'bad' attraction. You can be attracted to anyone you want. In fact, the nature of sexuality is that one often finds oneself attracted to all sorts of people one doesn't want. That is fine. What matters is actions: what you do, those people you have relationships with, what you identify yourself as, what you hope to achieve and do.
The subject of attraction to 'children' (I include teenagers below the age of consent and those on the verge of puberty) is a very difficult one, mostly because the mass media like to make it so for disgraceful reasons of their own. The fact is that there are very few who have not been attracted to a 'child' at some stage, even if only momentarily. Of those people who have, only a tiny minority have ever done anything inappropriate. Most people have simply been reasonable and realised that today's society makes it impossible. Some selfishly rape children against their wishes, and of course they belong in prison. The remaining people, where gay, often call themselves 'boylovers' and are socially and politically very difficult to classify. As Brian points out, a few have the interests of the boys they mentor at heart and would never consider a sexual relationship with them. In Ancient Greece, even that might have been appropriate. In today's society, it is out of the question -- in a liberal society, sex is not necessarily damaging: but in the US, Canada and the UK at the moment, it is playing with fire.
I am very much of the opinion that self-classification as a paedophile or a boylover is pointless. Many people can technically be called paedophiles or at least ephebophiles; but they can also be classified as perfectly normal heterosexual, homosexual, or indeed asexual people and as long as they live their lives beyond reproach then it is a gross invasion of their privacy to suggest otherwise. You are free to think whatever you want, be attracted to whomever you want, believe what you want, just don't break, or plan to break, the law.
Honestly, the questions you ask are common ones, and I've asked them all myself in the past. I would not worry too much. You can love someone without having sex; you can be attracted to someone without having to form a relationship; you're not a paedo, unless you want to be. I would suggest that you talk to some of the people around here, if possible -- I have never come across such a wise and level-headed bunch anywhere else. You're welcome to talk to me if you like, too -- my MSN id is spuriously@gmail.com.
Best wishes,
David
P.S. I find nothing more off-putting than watching people kissing. Especially when it's a straight couple. Yuck.
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Hi Josh,
>aside from that im scared to get hlp, becuase i dont want to talk aobut my problems. it hurts too much for me to even bring them up, and i really dont want to have to go to a Psych ward or something becuase of how i feel, or whatever.
Well, whether you should or should not see someone is really dependent on how you feel. I have found that discussing my sexuality with some of the sympathetic people around here, especially Timmy, helped a great deal more than talking to a therapist would have; admittedly, I have had quite a difficult history with them, for an entirely unrelated reason. The advantage with talking to intelligent people online is that there is no stigma, and other people don't need to know what you are up to. You can be as anonymous as you like. If you then think it would then be beneficial to talk to someone else in real life, you can.
I've had a look at the thread you started on asexuality.org, and you don't sound very different from anyone else: the only difference is that you have written down your thought processes. If you had been a middle-aged man looking at a 15 year-old girl, the thought process could have been roughly the same, and equally "inappropriate" (though actually I maintain that there is no such thing as an inappropriate thought, only inappropriate actions). But it would then have been dismissed and forgotten very quickly. I think you are probably attaching too great importance to these incidents -- by worrying about them, you are simply making them seem more important than they are. And then you worry about them even more.
It doesn't help that other people (may) look on and say "You must get help!", or even worse "You are a danger to children." The purpose of help would not be to prevent you from being a danger to other people -- I see nothing to suggest that you are; if you were, you would not be worrying about these things -- but to allow you to realise that you are not, which should make you a lot happier.
David
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hey Deeej
thanks for your reply.
i realize, from what Brian said, that (well it seemed like) i'm taking this thing way out f porportion. And for that, I'm sorry. But to me, its a big issue.
Aside from that, I think in fairness to myself, I'd rather not see a counsellor or psycologist or what have you, simply because as I said, I dont want to talk aobut these problems furthur to get to the 'truth' of the matter, cause there really is no reason why i did what i did, and why i feel what i feel. i just do.
Tho I do have to supress what I feel, and not act on it, cuase if i do, i'll kill myself. (not in a literal sense, but on the inside, i'll be dead.)
Poem, by ~Josh~
Darkened river, of blue mist,
search the colonies Light and Dark shadow,
make them run from their destiny,
make them bleed with intensity
Each shall remain a still Flame,
a silent Flower, absorbing all the Pain
Darkness and Light shall forever devour,
the Light's Darker secret, of unforgiving Power
Truth shall never unravel,
in the Dark parts of Hell, the Desire
is still there, yet shall not be shared,
Lost forever, in a Fight of Blind Light,
Tears of the Unforgiving Night
Shadows on the Wall, making the mirrors crack and Fall
Beneath the Stillness of the Time,
there shall never be Hate, there shall never be a Time
where each shall fall against their Will,
Beneath the Tree, thats on the hill...
~Josh~
I hope you all like the poem i wrote.
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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That was really good Josh. Just look at what you wrote, "and light shall forever devour", light will always destroy darkness. The only thing that can be destroyed by exposure is the darkness, that that is kept hidden. When it is brought out into the light, it is seen to have no power over us. I dont know your troubles and I wont pretend to. I do know somehting tho. find someone you trust and you can talk to and someone who you know will listen. They dont have to have dazzling answeres or a quick fix, but like me and others, sometimes its just good to be able to talk about it with someone who wont judge. I see a kind spirit who would never hurt anyone, someone who wants to be loved. You can find that acceptance heere and that love here if you want. Your poems are very good, I think you have a lot to offer the right person. I wish you all the luck in the world and any of us are here to help or just listen whenever you wish to talk.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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one word...
*HUGS!*^^ you get lots of hugs^^ lol. I already have someone I can talk to^^ She's my sister Ami^^ (we're not related, but I still love her, and she's still my sister^^)
We talk about EVERYTHING!^^ lol. It's nice^^ And I tell her all my problems, except these ones, havent told her them yet, and shes not judgemental^^ Which is really good for me^^
There was a point where I fell in love with her. lol. Yes its true, but she was seeing someone at the time, and I eventually told her how I felt, and now she's my sister and im her brother^^ So its all good^^
*gives you hugs*^^
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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If I gave the impression that I was trying to drive you to a shrink, I apologise. My only point was that, IF you were comfortable with it, AND if you found a decent counsellor, that's likely to be the fastest road to resolution - simply because face-to-face communication allows greater sensitivity in interpreting what you feel.
What you say about losing yourself in an artificial world makes you a member of a very large club - it's only a problem if you peek into the real world so seldom that you begin to lose touch with it!
I repeat with increasing conviction that I don't think any of your 'issues' will be particularly difficult to resolve; all that you need to do is to try to focus a little more on finding a resolution. This is a good place; no-one here will dismiss you or criticise you; we'll all help as much as we can, and nothing you can say or do will shock us! I do realise how difficult it can be to 'open up', but - let's face it - this cyberworld is every bit as artificial as anything you can construct in your head.
A good start might be to stick around for a week or two, maybe posting on some of the other threads, until you begin to feel really comfortable among us. No one's pushing you, but we'd love to be able to help - and it's amazing how therapeutic setting thoughts down in writing can be!
In the meantime, take a look in the mirror and see an ordinary guy who is just trying to sort out his thoughts!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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COSSIE^_^ Hello again^^
While I read your post, i was thinking to myself OMG! lol.
Thanks for replying^^ I think it really helped me. It's actually more help for me online then it is in the real world. lol. Tho the internet is a world not too far off from this one I suppose. It's just a little easier to say what you want on here.^^
If you ever get a change to, read one of the poems that I posted on here, I think you'll like it. It's dark, but I still think you'll enjoy it^^
Sometimes I want to stay in the artificial world that music creates for me. It doesnt hurt, it just makes me happy, and thats why a lot of the time, I dont want to leave. I am aware that there is the real world and a seperate world, and that I live in the real world, but sometimes it's nice to get into the artificial world once in a while.
http://inuyasha02.livejournal.com/45818.html
That's my LJ update for the day, if you, or anyone wants to read it adn comment, go ahead. I'm really glad that you guys dont judge me. That makes me really happy. In a way, Cossie, you remind me of my sister, Ami-chan. You dont judge me, and neither does she. I'm glad that you dont judge people.
Well, I think I'll stop the reply there. lol^^
Talk to you soon^^
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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Just caught your reply before switching off for the night!
I read your Journal - keep it up, it'll help! Ami-chan is one shrewd sister!
I've read all your poems, too. I think 'appreciate' and 'admire' might be better adjectives than 'like', but that's only because - having had more than a fair share of darkness in my life - I am now very much a creature of the light. But your sense of imagery is impressive!
Music, though, is a different world. My tastes, like everyone's, have changed over the years, but there are sequences of notes that can light up my day - or reduce me to tears - in an instant. It's a medium which can transport you through time and place in the blink of an eye.
Btw, as you may have gathered, I'm a Scotsman no longer in the first flush of youth - Damn it, I'm Brian's adopted grandad! - so I'm allowed to be stupid when I want to be! Can you explain to me the significance of the ^^ symbols which pepper your posts? I'm sure there IS a significance - I'm just too uncool to see it!
Be happy, Josh! See you tomorrow!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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lol.
^^ just means i'm happy. lol.^^ i didnt really think there was a significance to it, but i just put it there when i'm happy^^ lol.
i didnt know you were a Scotsman. lol. thats kewl^^ yay^^ lol.
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... I suppose this means that if we see vv in your posts we should start to panic? And does >> mean that you're emigrating to the UK, and << mean that you're moving to Vancouver?
Seriously, though ... glad you're feeling happy!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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lol.
dont worry^^ i only use ^^. lol sorry about that.
and thanks. i like feeling happy^^
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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No Message Body
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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i suppose. lol.^^
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13752
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I have always hated the term "boy lover", too. It means nothing except an excuse to molest an under age child.
Having said that I love boys. I think a boy of any age is the most ownderful creation. But I extend this into full adulthood. And, while at certain ages of the teenage years I may feel sexually attracted I am not about to touch.
I think that is because love, pure love, has nothing whatsoever to do with sexual attraction. You can love simply, unconditionally and asexually. You can also be sexually attracted. When both happen together and (and this is important) are returned together, then, with due regard to the law of the land, a sexual encounter may take place, if both parties want it.
Josh, you will not get raped by anyone. The probability is very low indeed. )One day you will find someone you want to share time with, share contact with and even share kisses with. You may find you want to share other bodily sensations too. When you do the whole set of sexual acts will become a normal and natural part of your relationship.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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hey Timmy
I guess I always knew that I wouldnt, but I still have a fear of it. I have always had an intimidation factor when it comes to hanging around with people my age.
The truth is, that now I'm liiving with my Grama, for about a few weeks. I'm glad I am, cause there's a beach and everything^^ I love the beach. It's calming for me to be in the water. More calming for me then perhaps other people.
And then there's the whole 'what am I gonna do now' factor. I really have no idea, but I want to do something with computers. I like typing. Typing for me is fun, so that's why I type, and say things. Not that the words I say arent true, but sometimes I just type too fast for me own good =P
Whats wierd is that I really have no idea what I want to do with my life. lol. I guess that's a little strange. I'm hoping that I can get a job while im here in Wasaga Beach with my Grama.
And thanks for the reply Timmy. I appreciate it. *hugs*
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13752
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I love the look of Wasaga Beach. I need water in my life, too. I love water. River, lake or sea. I spent my teens and early twenties in water, on water and under water. Being the UK we're more familiar with sea coats than freshwater ones.
Don't worry about what you want to do with your life. When IT is ready, IT will let you know. Meanwhile simply do the things you need to do in order to keep the widest range of options available to you.
Maybe you'll open a kite surfing school! Who can possibly say?
Want to talk about this feeling of intimidation? on the board or by email, either is fine by me if you choose me  . Fact is, I think my own feelings of lack of self worth as a teen may be relevant here. Once you realise that you are a guy can hold his head up and walk tall alongside everyone else, that is part of the key.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Josh said: "What’s weird is that I really have no idea what I want to do with my life. Lol. I guess that's a little strange"
Navyone says: Not only not strange but very normal.
Someone once said the reason older people ask younger people what they are going to do when they grow up is because they are looking for ideas for themselves.
Gary
Navyone
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