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meow.
im slightly bored, and agitated today. =P
and i have no idea why...
what to say. lol.
anyway^^ reply if you want to i guess. ^^
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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okay i do know whats bugging me. lol.
whats bugging me is that i keep thinking about Josh (my 'ex')
and i cant stop. not that i want to, cuase i dont.
i even found myself having dreams about him this morning.
oO
strange i guess... but i cant help loving him...
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Josh, why did you split up?
[Updated on: Sat, 21 October 2006 15:06] |
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meow.
we split up cuase i was scared of one day hurting him or something like that, despite the many times that i did, i guess i didnt want to hurt him anymore. so thats why i guess. i really dont know...
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Is this a physical relationship or an internet relationship you're talking about?
It sounds to me like it might be symptomatic of a trend. It doesn't help to worry excessively about hurting a person at a point in the future, because there's a high probability that this will become self-fulfilling. I wonder if your anxiety has already turned into a phobia of relationships in general -- does this sound likely to you?
David
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... it's pretty clear to me that you have problems with relationships. Are you trying to do anything to address that problem? If not, it seems fairly inevitable that you will continue to hurt people and to be hurt yourself, in a recurring cycle.
I think you may need counselling beyond the level you can find in our small group, though we'll support you in any way we can.
Your posts suggest that you have your own personal firewall, keeping everyone else at a distance. If you don't reveal a bit more about yourself, it's almost impossible to know how to help.
I'm not criticising you - in one way or another there will be a logical reason for everything you do and feel - but the firewall isolates you from any rational attempt to support you.
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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lol. your funny.
personal firewalls are built to protect something or someone. in my case, its to protect myself from everyone else, lettting only those i trust into myself. i trust only one person. and its like everyone else is my enemy.
and i can smile that i know im safe. i have my parents, which im lucky for, since most people dont have any.
music is my relief, and it frees me from everything, whether its loud or soft, i dont care.
counsellors i dont want.
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Josh,
>personal firewalls are built to protect something or someone. in my case, its to protect myself from everyone else, lettting only those i trust into myself. i trust only one person. and its like everyone else is my enemy.
I have to say I think it is selfish not to acknowledge the existence of this firewall to other people -- people who might want to get close to you. Fine if every time there is the possibility of a relationship you say, "Sorry -- I don't want one," then everyone knows where you stand. That's not selfish -- everyone has the right not to commit to something if he does not want to (although it may be disappointing for the other party). But once you've committed to a relationship, either in real life or on the internet, you have to be prepared to give as well as to take, and if you don't you run the risk of both terminating the relationship and seriously upsetting the other person.
>and i can smile that i know im safe. i have my parents, which im lucky for, since most people dont have any.
Most people of our ages do. It might be true that once most people get to a certain point they cannot rely on their parents for everything (usually in the late teens/early twenties), but that is a part of growing up.
>counsellors i dont want.
That is fine provided that you wish to keep yourself to yourself and remain alone for the foreseeable future. This may be the case -- I don't know you well enough to tell. But regarding everyone else as an enemy and never letting them know you properly sounds like a recipe for loneliness to me. If you do plan ever to let someone in, then you need to be prepared to open up the firewall completely to them. If you can't do that then I too would suggest you talk to someone about it.
David
[Updated on: Sun, 22 October 2006 21:13] |
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Deeej is right, if you shut everybody out, then you will be very lonely. I have every reason in the world to shut people out but I dont. The people here make my life bearable so I let them into my world a bit so they can know me and I can know them. My best bud knows everything about me, which is the way it should be. You have to learn to trust because you cant have any kind of realtisonship if there is no trust there.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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Josh, unless you happen to be extremely rich, it's pretty well impossible to got through life with a personal firewall. If, eventually, you need to work to earn your daily bread, you'll find it impossible to do so if you are unable to relate to those around you.
There are good guys and bad guys everywhere but, so far as can see, the bad guys haven't colonised this site. Maybe we can help, maybe we can't - but we WILL try. If you stay inside your firewall, one day you will be very badly hurt. There are posters here who are your own age; I'm certainly not trying to make you open up to me but, believe me, you do need to open up to someone in the very near future.
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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meow.
im sorry everyone for being extremely rude to you all^^;
i didnt mean to. i hope you all can forgive me^^
*huggles all*^^
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Hi Josh,
Why don't you join in with some other people's threads -- post comments and introduce new ideas to an existing discussion -- instead of only posting in your own? If you don't it means you're not really participating as a full member of the community and we can't ever get to know you on terms beyond those you have set yourself. It might also help you feel more at ease here, if that's what you're looking for.
David
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Aussie
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Really getting into it |
Registered: August 2006
Messages: 475
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I doubt that anyone here will think you have been rude. You are just being you.
All the posts here are from guys who are just concerned with your welfare.
I am sure it would help you if you could just knock some of that brick wall, surrounding you, down a little. I think everyone here has one to some degree or another. Deeej's suggestion is a good one, so see if you can follow through with that.
Keep posting your poetry because you are able to express your thoughts through that nicely and we like them.
Best wishes
Aussie
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Yes!
Please keep posting your poetry.
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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awwwww^^
your sweet. thanks Aussie.
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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i will^^
thanks Jay
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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