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With help from a few guys here I found a G&L club at my collage. The problem is there is only a phone number. I don't know what to say, and because of that I have been putting off calling for a week.
Jay
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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Just ring up and ask for some information about it, what they do, when they meet, what sort of people belong to it. Then finish the conversation politely and think about what they've said in a safe and unpressured environment. Once you've considered the information they've given you, you have three options: i. ring back with any further questions that occur to you, ii. go along to a meeting, if they said it would be appropriate, or iii. forget about it altogether. (The third option is the 'do nothing' approach -- it's not a recommended one, but it's always there as an escape route if you need it. In fact, it is there at every possible juncture, so don't worry about reaching a stage you won't be able to look back.)
Ringing up is not very different from calling Directory Enquiries. You don't need to commit to anything on the phone -- you don't need to give your name or any personal details. You certainly don't need to detail your sexuality -- normally those societies will accept people regardless of whether they are gay, bisexual, straight, asexual; the only requirement is open-mindedness. Trust me, the people who run them have no interest in forcing you into anything you don't want to do.
David
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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Spot on. I'd add one thing to that. Ask if they have anythinh they can email to you, and use your non perosnal address.
Deej knows all about this. He girded his loins and went ahead and did it. He'll support you totally when you decide to do it.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Jay,
Sounds to me as if what you're struggling with is perhaps more and issue of courage than it is what to say or do. David and Timmy both have excellent advise. As to the courage aspect, I've found through years of non-courage that it doesn't work. If you follow the advise David gives, you risk nothing and have everything to gain. You've got the guys here on your side, Bro.
Hugs,
Teddy
“There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.” - Terry Pratchett
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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Over the years I have fond that the things I fear the most are the things I need to do first. That way my day is clear for the rest of te more enjoyable stuff.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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I'm not going to repeat the very good advice given by the previous posters - they are all spot on.
This is just a personal challenge to you. Ring no later than Tuesday, and let us know how it goes.
It'll really help, y'know!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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Yes sir.:-[ LOL
I'll try. think I will call in a min.
but I have alot on my plate at the moment. have two test, one timed paper, still have to type up the other paper all be for Tuesday. On top of that I am due in court in 54 min.
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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Jedediah
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Likes it here |
Location: Made in NZ
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 170
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In court?What have you done now?
cheers
E Te Atua tukuna mai ki au te Mauri tauki te tango i nga mea
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... so long as your reply to Jedediah doesn't show that you've been very naughty, I'll give you an extension until Wednesday!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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Apparently yelling a few choices words at an asshole cop is considered assault. So long story short I was given two choices. Say I was sorry, or go to jail for 2 days. But hold on the cop had to do the same, so I would drop the counter charges.
Jay
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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Aussie
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Really getting into it |
Registered: August 2006
Messages: 475
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Good to see the stirrer coming out in you. Did you feel better after the choice words? Guess you went to court cap in hand otherwise you wouldn't be here (unless they give you an internet connection in jail)
Aussie
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Yea, he pulled me over saying I was driving drunk. I so was not.
All charges where droped mine and his.
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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Reminds me of the police officer who tied his whistle to a tree and blew his horse.
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I was not speeding so do I get till wed?
Oh thats right Cossie I need to yell.
I WAS NOT SPEEDING SO DO I GET TILL WED?
Sorry brian had to steal your joke.
Jay
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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Aussie
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Really getting into it |
Registered: August 2006
Messages: 475
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STIRRER
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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You should never shout at the aged and infirm. You nearly gave me a heart attack. That was very, very naughty!
I see that the Court accepted that you were sweet and innocent - but then, what do Courts know?
[Updated on: Tue, 31 October 2006 03:02]
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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Ok I called today, but it was admin phone number so I asked if I could have some info and gave the name of the group. She said she will look on the list of active groups. It was not on the list. she told me the room number of where I could come and look to see if the group has changed its name. so that what I will do before class tomorrow.
Jay
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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Good luck with your quest, Jay.
Hugs
“There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.” - Terry Pratchett
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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Do not give up. After college the world of work makes finding a date harder. College is a much easier place to be gay.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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I don't see how you came to that idea.
Finding a date is as easy as a trip to the nearest gay club....
Most largish cities and many smaller ones also have pride groups which organize social events and mixers where people can meet.
College is nothing more than a school..... big..... but a school.....
Out in the real world you will have as much chance of meeting someone nice.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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I guess what I meant was a better chance of finding like minded, like educated folks. But you are right, of course.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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Did you check in before school and, if you did, what happened?
If you still have problems, do any of our US posters have any idea of how to make contact on Jay's campus? (If you think you might be able to help, either post here or send Jay an e-mail.)
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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