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I know I said I would post this like a couple of days ago but I finally typed it up last night so here it is.
The topic that I was to write about was douse rebellion have value.
My grade for the paper is a low A. but an A is an A.
Is this better than the first version?
http://docs.google.com/View?docid=dgn4jjh_9gbk3zh
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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Substantially 
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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In terms of concept, I can't fault what you say. In terms of delivery, the language (grammar rather than spelling) could be improved, but for someone grappling with dyslexia that 'A' is something of which you can be justly proud.
Keep up the good work!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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Hey Jay!
Much better argued and in a more logical form. Still too many typos - use the spellchecker - and read it through afterwards or get a friend to read it through. Keep up the good work.
Hugs
Nigel
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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I don't think any of the mistakes there would be picked up by a spell-checker. Perhaps some would be by a grammar checker, but those things usually also correct things that aren't wrong.
The really important thing, Jay, I would have thought, would be to get someone else to read through it for you and underline or correct the mistakes.
David
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Mater for matter, perhaps?
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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Aussie
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Really getting into it |
Registered: August 2006
Messages: 475
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Yes it is much better. Your thought process seems to work better.
There could be some improvement in the punctuation and knowing the difference between where and were.
I would be interested to hear what sort of help you sought and whether they did the correcting or just gave advice.
All up the A was well deserved and you should be proud.
Aussie
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Mater is certainly a word: it means "mother". Most spell-checkers would be far too stupid to pick it up. The same applies for all the other spelling mistakes: "where" (were), "has" (as), "with out" (without) and "with in" (within).
David
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Awesome job, Jay! Yeah, it wasn't perfect but what the heck, you done good! 
Everyone's offered good suggestions, especially having someone you trust look it over for you.
Teddy
“There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.” - Terry Pratchett
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Sorry, it took so long for me to write back. I thank u all for your thoughts, and feel free to really let me know what you think. If you think you will hurt my feeling, don't be. If it was not for you all, I would have not gone in for help, with my teacher.
I can't fix what I don't know is broken.
I was hoping for Marc's thoughts on the second cut of the cut of the paper. I mean that with no disrespect for the rest of you, because you all have already posted your thoughts.
Jay
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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