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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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Jordan: Your post attacking Marc was combative and unhelpful. Hitting people solves nothing. Get a grip on your fists.
Marc: Your determination to make reasoned posts instead of sniping seems to have vanished. This is absolutely not a place to score points. You also need to get a grip on your fists.
Now, if I am reading this right, Jordan made the earlier email death wish to Marc. I'm not sure why that got into the public forum, but if that is truly the case, that is a wholly unwelcome behaviour, and, Jordan, it means you are not welcome here.
Aqua: You are not immune from my criticism here. Look back at your retorts to Marc and decide whether they were truly helpful. Argue a case with logic and reason, not invective.
Anyone else I have missed by name that I ought to be addressing? Please JUST THINK about ways to behave.
[Updated on: Mon, 14 July 2008 07:49]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Dear Timmy,
They used to say "Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me."
I would be sorry to see either Marc or Jordan leave. Intemperance may need to be tamed but exclusion isn't exactly an encouragement to change; it's more a sentence that as you can't change we don't want to deal with you any more. I for one do want to go on dealing with them.
I'm fascinated by the nature of these electronic communications: posts on here are public yet some of the people here are open to receiving particularly embarrassing or private messages without telling the whole forum.
And some of the time I'm frustrated by it (not long ago, you may remember, I wanted to know people's ages so that I could distinguish the boring old gits from the naive young things). I understand why you didn't agree. But I hadn't thought so much then, about the way things work here. I was too used to thinking about it as posts on a bulletin board and not a loose forum of people with some common interests.
I would suggest one thing to people here: it would be nice if, whenever you post you read it through before clicking the button and correct any typos or other errors. It is considerate to the others, it gives a pause for thought and maybe, if the re-read makes one reconsider the phrasing, it will help to reduce intemperance.
Love,
Anthony
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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I mever said it was in an email... I said it was in an IM...
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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Email/IM makes no difference to me. That as a behaviour is wholly unwelcome. I'm sorry that it has escaped into the forum because I know that you have hitherto been careful not to reveal the source. Since it is now here and attributable I have to deal with it.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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It may be fascinating, but so is a car crash. This is one fascination I will not provide a forum for.
Many folk stop posting when this trash happens. I am heading for whatever I view the greater good to be.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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timmy wrote:
> Email/IM makes no difference to me. That as a behaviour is wholly unwelcome. I'm sorry that it has escaped into the forum because I know that you have hitherto been careful not to reveal the source. Since it is now here and attributable I have to deal with it.
It makes a difference to me. I did not want to be accused of lying about it.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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Understood. It was my error.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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Now. You, named and unnamed, have just driven one poster away from here.
You are WRECKING this forum.
he has just said to me:
> I shall miss it terribly. It was a place to escape to that I really need. But enough is enough. What is a place of safety for some is the opposite for others.
So, tell me: WHY SHOULD I NOT CLOSE THE DOORS FOR EVER?
Have you any idea how pissed off I am?
This is IT. Those who need to go, JUST GO. No announcements, just do not return. If that means you, then DO IT.
IF you can behave then return. IF there is somewhere to return to. IF.
I go on vacation this month. Just maybe I'll close it while I'm away anyway since I can't trust you. Or just maybe I'll appoint a moderator who will rip the crap out without mercy.
What the heck do you have to say for yourselves? How long do you think I will tolerate this behaviour?
[Updated on: Mon, 14 July 2008 12:33]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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Right. There is now a random moderator. He does not have my patience. He MAY introduce himself, but I have suggested not. He will delete ANY post that he sees to be outside the declared ethos of this place using his personal judgment. He is not a particularly patient person.
He and I have agreed a mode of operation where he absolutely does not refer to me for decisions, and that he does not have to justify those decisions in any way.
Read "The Water Babies". Mrs Bedonebyasyoudid is in charge. Her sister, Mrs Doasyouwouldbedoneby is on vacation.
Note that I may appoint a second random moderator who will have no knowledge of the other. They will work independently.
Finally, my own posts are not immune from their actions.
[Updated on: Mon, 14 July 2008 13:00]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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LOL, I’m not laughing at the situation here, but I was just wondering, who among us is so wise? That is not a specific question of course…
Really this place has had a good run, as you know Timmy I’ve been here from the beginning. Seen so many come and go, seen some that have maybe stayed longer than they should have, Bryce comes to mind.
Josh said something in a recent post that made me think. As I have said many times, I love everyone, but I sure as h*ll don’t like everyone and don’t expect everyone to like me. Some times I like the people for the most part but don’t agree with what or how they believe, this isn’t about who’s wrong or whose write, let’s try and get past the pissing contests and luxuriate in the exchange of thought and idea. Say what you have to say, there’s no need to argue, nothing of good will come of it most likely (I have to remind myself of this all the time.) Nor have I ever seen this place as a hierarchy. None of us are the end all and be all… None! Except for Timmy and the mystery moderator of course, doesn’t matter how old you are or how smart or how well you express your self. If you or I are lucky what we exchange here will be edifying to some degree.
I’ve always liked this play ground; I’d hate to see it go. Sure, I long to see some of the people that have gone. Still in the end it is the place and those that keep passing through that keeps me here, if even no more than a lurker.
I’ve seldom see you this upset Timmy, sorry for that, I know there is nothing I could say or do to help, but for the sake of the many don’t close the doors!
Peace
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
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The normal post or reply here is several paragraphs of well-written, carefully considered prose. I know of no other on-line forum that meets this high standard. I'd hate to see it go.
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I've only been coming here for about a year or so. And, as others have expressed, I find the topics and reasoned logic here a real change from other gay forums I participate in. And those who know me from the other forums know that I devote much of my energies towards educating youth and towards preventing gay, teen suicide. I point gay or questioning youth towards safe and informative sites on the net where they can feel accepted or get answers. I informed Timmy via email a number of months ago that I've removed mention of this site from my other net postings. I did so because of the actions of a particular adult on this board. I just no longer feel this is a safe place for younger people to post to when they are being threatened with being outed.
And before we admonish a young person here for sending an inappropriate or threatening message to a board member, and saying it is unacceptable behaviour, let us see how grown, reasoned adults have responded to this same individual. If you folks can become as angry as your posts make you seem, how do you think a 16 year old will respond to that person under similar circumstances? And I might also point out that there is a difference between telling someone you "wished" they were dead and from making a, so called, death threat.
Normally, when I'm upset with something I read here I respond with an email or by IM. I want to tell the person that I'm upset with him without castigating him in front of everyone else. But since I'm upset with just about everyone on this board right now (read that as adults) then I guess the message belongs here.
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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I take your point about admonishments. However I have high expectations. It is a general truth in life that people rise to meet high expectations when given both the encouragement and the chance.
But they have to know what the expectations are, and they have to know the consequences of inappropriate actions.
One should also note that I have not, yet, barred any of the current antagonists. I have made some extremely firm statements and I have expressed my anger and the fact that one is unwelcome. It is up to the individuals concerned and any others who feel that the cap fits them, too, to shape up or ship out or my statements will harden.
Will the moderation work?
In many ways that is entirely up to all here. And that is one reason why the moderator is anonymous - so no lobbying whatsoever can take place.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I take my eye away from here and what happens? 
ENOUGH 
