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The Trevor Project is a 24/7 suicide & crisis prevention helpline for gay and questioning youth........
"I just want to know, can you change? Is it possible? They say it is."
Adam's voice cracks just slightly at the end of each question, a sign of nervousness and also that his stated age of 16 is probably accurate.
Not a prank. Check.
I want to tell him that God loves him just as he is, that even if "change" were possible it wouldn't be necessary, that once he learns to understand himself he won't want to change anymore. Embrace the beautiful creation you are, Adam!
But he hasn't technically told me he's gay yet, and he has no reason to trust me if I told him all of that. We've only been on the phone for about 1.5 minutes. This is probably the first time he's dared to even ask this much. So instead I ask, "Who says that?"
The rest of the story can be found here:
http://www.bilerico.com/2009/08/stories_from_the_helpline_12.php#more
More on the trevor project:
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/about.aspx
(\\__/) And if you don't believe The sun will rise
(='.'=) Stand alone and greet The coming night
(")_(") In the last remaining light. (C. Cornell)
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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What an awesome responsibility it is for someone who works on a gay help line like this. I suppose a lot of time is spent just sitting at the phone. Then I would surmise that a lot of the calls are pranks, and folks making fun of you. Then once in a great while, you have to convince a kid not to kill himself. How can people who work these lines ever feel that they are up to the challenge? When can they ever feel that they have studied and learned enough to help someone. I would think that a person who does this work could easily become so involved with it, in making sure he is prepared for a real intervention scenario that he could never stop spending time learning and preparing. THe responsibility of it all. THank God that there are people out there willing to accept this challenge.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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Benji
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: August 2007
Messages: 297
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Amen to that, but these Hotlines are recent, not to disparage them, it is just that there was no such thing when I was growing up. Thank G-D they are here now.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13752
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This is, in its way, why I set this forum up.
Sometimes people come here and ask questions. Mostly they never utter a word, and just read.
And they see that gay folk are normal folk who just happen to be gay.
Most people do not choose to die. Many people think about it. Not just gay people, all people.
We have helped several people here directly. We have intervened physically to save several, and, in at least one case, intervened when it was not necessary but appeared to have been threatened.
But the most useful role we have is in talking about our hopes, our fears, our perceived abnormality, our normality.
Every time I say this people are amazed, some are angry, but this forum is not for those who post. It is by those who post. Instead it is for those who simply read it.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Fingolfin
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Likes it here |
Location: Slovakia
Registered: August 2008
Messages: 265
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Every time I think of such project, or an activity.... still it stays the same: if it helps at least one person than it is worth the effort. I believe such phone links and forums are far more effective, as they can help many people in short time. I believe they not only can, but also do. Praised be every human being capable of helping others this way.
Marek
It is better to switch on a small light than to curse the darkness.
- Vincent Šikula, Slovak writer
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13752
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You got me to thinking. So I thought here: http://tinyurl.com/ntb6xo I decided that I would be preaching to the choir if I posted those combined thoughts here, so I posted them there, where there is a different audience.
What interests me, too, is the adverts there that surround the article. I like the fact that those adverts, when someone clicks them, fund this site  Every last religious advert that is clicked there funds us and keeps the server online. Oh the irony!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13752
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There will be some prank calls, of course there will, but most folk who man these services are adept at fielding those. Most prank callers come over as thrill seekers or make smutty remarks. They don't pose as kids in pain.
I don't think you can ever convince someone not to kill themselves. All you can do is be there for them and hope that your words are enough. Only they can decide what to do. And all you can do as the voice on the phone is to show them you can be trusted with their burden.
It must be achingly hard not to get involved in a life, especially a young life, that is threatening death. And yet, all that can be done is to listen actively, to ask questions and to show that there are routes forward that don't involve self-harm.
What might be good is to see of there is a local project like this. You may or may not be a suitable volunteer, but you could ask. And, if not selected (and more are not selected than are, it's no stigma, they need a particular set of skills) you could raise funds for them.
[Updated on: Mon, 10 August 2009 15:31]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I've included the Trevor Project hotline as part of my signature on the other forums I belong too. I don't know why I haven't done so here, since this is a forum that Timmy has designed to help hurting people. It's far more appropriate here.
That crisis counselor is a hero. There is no other way to describe his selfless actions.
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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NO one understands an individual's pain. When you have decided that enough is enough and you can see an end to the pain you live with, you take the plunge (no pun intended).
There is little or no help like available and questions can't always be asked by the one concerned because most of the time they are too ashamed to voice the feelings and questions inside. Suicide and being gay seem to be synonymous, the answers sometimes beget more questions and it all becomes too hard. It's a pity that mostly the families involvement comes AFTER the event...
People have a habit of changing your direction through life
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13752
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All the helpline can do is hope that a person in desperate need will make that one call first, and add the content of the call into their decision. I have only been near that decision, not at it. My pain was trivial. Yet I understand a little of the decision and the despair.
Perhaps that is all one needs to understand in order to be available, and to help in what little way one can. I cannot even imagine standing in your shoes, for example, back then. I can't imagine waking up later, either. But I'm glad you did.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I was delighted to see that Daniel Radcliffe has recently made "a major donation" to the Trevor Project (http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-13620.html ). Daniel seems to be turning into a thoughtful and thoroughly decent adult: no mean feat, considering what he's been through for the past few years ... it's a transition many child stars fail to make.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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I did several years on a helpline for students (not specifically gay) in my student years, and yes - you do get to suss out prank calls pretty fast.
We didn't get many suicide calls (though those we did get often had sexual orientation, religion, or other aspects of conforming with expectations at their root). But such calls were the reason that we NEVER had only one volunteer on duty: always at least a couple (male + female as a minimum): it's almost essential for any volunteer handling such a call to have some support to fall back on themselves.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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Wow! What a sweet kid.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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Ashley D wrote:
>Suicide and being gay seem to be synonymous…<
????? I don't think this even works on a metaphorical level.
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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ray2x
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: April 2009
Messages: 429
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I know that there will one day be no need for a help line or crisis line when a person says "I'm gay" or feel devestated by someone else revelation of being gay.
Raymundo
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