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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > On orifices
icon11.gif On orifices  [message #67903] Sat, 17 August 2013 22:38 Go to next message
timmy

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Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
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Well, on non oral, aural and nasal ones, at least!

A vagina, so my heterosexual male friends tell me, is inherently sexually attractive. I have wondered if that is a learned response as in "I feel incredibly turned on and want to do something with my dick, Ah, that's where I can put it, gosh that's slippery and rather good fun!" or perhaps far earlier with schoolyard talk whoch predisposes the little heterosexual lad to find vaginas appealing.

An anus is far neater, tidier. Doesn't matter whether it's a male or a female anus, there are no frilly edges, and it has a far better grip. Have we homosexual chaps learned to find the anus inherently sexually attractibve? if we have, why only the male one? The female one is identical, after all.

If the vagina as an arousing object thing is a learned response, why didn't we learn it too? They are fascinating, but not exactly aesthetically pleasing. Since I'm married to a lady I have had the chance to play with one, and find them to be perplexing, awkward and not entirley satisfactory, though they work rather well in childbirth!



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: On orifices  [message #67904 is a reply to message #67903] Sat, 17 August 2013 22:56 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Smokr is currently offline  Smokr

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I don't believe it is the actual anatomical part that is 'attractive', but rather, the activity implied by the use of said orifice. And not only the activity, but the person it is attached to when knowledge of said person is included.
For instance, yourself, Timmy. You've married a female (shiver, lol). Was that marriage to her vagina, or to the person? Apparently you're not attracted to her vagina, therefore, you must have been attracted to her person/personality.
For instance, artificial instruments, AKA fleshlights and pocket-pussies and other related objects. We are hardly attracted to the inanimate object, but rather, the activity the object provides. Dildos, again, are attractive for what they can do, though the aesthetic properties are certainly a part of that attraction, and again, for their stimulating properties.
Heteros find vaginas attractive for what they provide, not the thing itself. In fairness, many say they love the sight of a pussy, others that it is rather revolting to the eye, but they prefer it to an anus. Others find an anus far more interesting and the vagina rather disgusting. Some find an ovine or caprine orifice appealing. Is that an attraction to the animal, or the action, or the stigma/taboo property? Dunno.
Either way, I don't think it is a learned attraction, or else there would be no homosexuals. Who would talk it up with the other boys in the schoolyard?

[Updated on: Sat, 17 August 2013 22:59]




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Re: On orifices  [message #67905 is a reply to message #67904] Sat, 17 August 2013 23:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

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Location: UK, in Devon
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Quote:
Smokr wrote on Sat, 17 August 2013 23:56
Either way, I don't think it is a learned attraction, or else there would be no homosexuals. Who would talk it up with the other boys in the schoolyard?

--We talked about all sorts of sex happily and openly, mechanics an' all. But we despised fucking poofs and homos, of course we did.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: On orifices  [message #67906 is a reply to message #67903] Sun, 18 August 2013 04:44 Go to previous messageGo to next message
dgt224 is currently offline  dgt224

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I think Smokr has it right, but perhaps with the wrong emphasis. I suspect that it is the implied intimacy with a desired person that makes the male anus so attractive, for those of a suitable inclination. Or perhaps that's just me projecting my own tastes onto the rest of the world. To me that goes a long way toward explaining a preference for the male anus over the female. An anus in isolation does much less for me than it does in the context of a desirable body.

As for toys, the only ones I've found "attractive" have been so for reasons of aesthetics unrelated to their function. In my life toys are evaluated on engineering principles: Do they fit where needed? Do they reach the parts that need reaching? Do they provide the right kind of friction or pressure? Do they stand up to their intended use for a reasonable time? The appearance of a toy is a very minor consideration for me.
Re: On orifices  [message #67907 is a reply to message #67906] Sun, 18 August 2013 21:30 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

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Location: UK, in Devon
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Quote:
dgt224 wrote on Sun, 18 August 2013 05:44I think Smokr has it right, but perhaps with the wrong emphasis. I suspect that it is the implied intimacy with a desired person that makes the male anus so attractive, for those of a suitable inclination. Or perhaps that's just me projecting my own tastes onto the rest of the world. To me that goes a long way toward explaining a preference for the male anus over the female. An anus in isolation does much less for me than it does in the context of a desirable body.

--To me this implies that, anus or vagina, the attraction is a learned response, but not perhaps, using the model I had considered?



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: On orifices  [message #67908 is a reply to message #67907] Mon, 19 August 2013 04:50 Go to previous messageGo to next message
dgt224 is currently offline  dgt224

Toe is in the water
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I'm inclined to agree - the attraction seems likely to be a learned response, but experience suggests that (in at least some cases) the attraction appears early enough to be unrelated to actual sexual experiences. That was certainly the case for me, by a span of years. Assuming, of course, that my nearly sixty year old memories of early attractions are still accurate.

It all happened well out of the reach of conscious thought, but I think the sequence may have been something like, "It feels nice when I touch myself there. Perhaps it would feel nice to him (always a him) if I touched him there. Ooh, that place I really want to touch looks pretty nice." Not seeing an anus at all frequently during that time, the allure of the hidden/forbidden probably entered into it as well.
Re: On orifices  [message #67909 is a reply to message #67908] Mon, 19 August 2013 08:24 Go to previous message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13604



Quote:
dgt224 wrote on Mon, 19 August 2013 05:50I'm inclined to agree - the attraction seems likely to be a learned response, but experience suggests that (in at least some cases) the attraction appears early enough to be unrelated to actual sexual experiences. That was certainly the case for me, by a span of years. Assuming, of course, that my nearly sixty year old memories of early attractions are still accurate.

It all happened well out of the reach of conscious thought, but I think the sequence may have been something like, "It feels nice when I touch myself there. Perhaps it would feel nice to him (always a him) if I touched him there. Ooh, that place I really want to touch looks pretty nice." Not seeing an anus at all frequently during that time, the allure of the hidden/forbidden probably entered into it as well.

--I remember looking dispassionately at anuses, with interest, but without sexual awareness. I would also have looked at vaginas, but none were available. This is circa 10 years old when I saw an anus at school (another boy initiated anal play wth his friend, and I inveigled a neighbour into showing me his. The play was definitely not sexual, but I knew I wanted to see this place I could not see on myself.

I'm trying to work out when my interest in the anus per se became sexual, but that is near impossible. I know it was some years later.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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