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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > Been thinking idly about bondage
Been thinking idly about bondage  [message #68416] Sat, 22 March 2014 19:16 Go to next message

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13759

I half fancy being tied up by someone I trust and thus allowing them to choose what to do and not to do. The other half of me doesn't fancy it at all. And that got me wondering.

As the bound person, is being bound a way of giving yourself permission to experience things you would never normally have experienced? What I mean is, because you are tied up and immobilised, your trusted partner may do anything they please within the rules you both set for your game, and some of those things may be things you have not dared to do, asked to do, or even knew could be done. 

I'm not explaining this very well. I don't mean the D S or M parts of BDSM, I only mean the B, at least for me. You can do the others if they're your thing.

Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Been thinking idly about bondage  [message #68432 is a reply to message #68416] Tue, 25 March 2014 03:42 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Smokr is currently offline  Smokr

Likes it here
Location: the burning former USofA
Registered: July 2010
Messages: 399

Not tried it. Closest was a few times when he held my hands above my head while he did what he wanted. It was rather fun and made me wonder about being tied up a few times, but I didn't know him or trust him enough to be comfortable with it. Just haven't been with someone trusted enough or for long enough since. That was the next to last guy I was with. He liked his hands being tied and being blindfolded and not knowing what I was going to do to him, and that was as far as I would go. He wanted me to use some items for light pain on him, but that just didn't turn me on and I refused. We didn't last long.
Not into the S, M, or D, either. So boring! LOL Though I do love sounding, and electro-stim when used gently and not roughly.
I'm interested in hearing from the others for sure.

Re: Been thinking idly about bondage  [message #68661 is a reply to message #68416] Sun, 26 October 2014 19:48 Go to previous messageGo to next message
ChrisR is currently offline  ChrisR

Likes it here
Location: Western US
Registered: October 2014
Messages: 136

When we were kids, it became quite habit forming. Started off innocently with good guys/bad guys games, cops/robbers, cowboys/indians, etc. And we loved it, either doing the tying or struggling to get away. But that was it.

As life moved into tween/teen years, it took on more adultish themes starting with strip poker. Guys only, ranged 12-16. I'd have to say we boldly went where no tw/teens we knew had gone before. And when one of the guys got some real handcuffs at the army surplus store... it was incredible. (If we'd had access to the internet in those days, I imagine we'd have bought tons of "toys".)

For kids, we were probably doing B(dsm) without thoughts of serious pain or anything like that. Tickling was definitely 'in' (to a point), and we took in some damned thorough anatomy studies. We seem to have implicitly known the rules. Safeword was simply "No!" and we'd never have thought to violate it.

I thought about doing a fictionalized story but figure it might be pushing too many buttons and envelopes!

Adults seem to lose that innocence along the way. The (dsm) component becomes the main game, and I don't think I could bring myself to trust anybody near as much as my childhood friends. The classic closing line from "Stand By Me" is true as ever.

Overall, I think it's more something you grow out of, not into. If half of you doesn't fancy it, I wouldn't recommend it.
Re: Been thinking idly about bondage  [message #68686 is a reply to message #68416] Wed, 29 October 2014 10:03 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Ray is currently offline  Ray

Getting started
Location: Sydney, Australia
Registered: July 2014
Messages: 26

No experience - no interest.
i can't understand this interest in bondage. I never got tied up but experienced enough crap without it. Maybe that is why. Try being a rent boy for a while and see who you meet up with. Any other opinions on that theme? or am I alone here? It is a jungle out there (or at least it used to be...)

Re: Been thinking idly about bondage  [message #68693 is a reply to message #68686] Thu, 30 October 2014 18:16 Go to previous message
ChrisR is currently offline  ChrisR

Likes it here
Location: Western US
Registered: October 2014
Messages: 136

Ray -

From your perspective, you're absolutely right, though I remember my experiences quite fondly. On the other hand, I've never been nor had the interest (or, frankly, the need) to be or use a rent boy. The fiction stories on line tend to be dark enough, and almost all eventually feature a knight in shining armor. News reports are even worse. Glad you made it through.

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