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JoeWriterMan
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Getting started |
Location: United States
Registered: September 2010
Messages: 20
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Dear Authors, Readers, Timmy,
It's funny how life can rapidly change with only a few words said.
On a routine physical and after further testing, I received the diagnosis of Stage IIIA lung cancer.
My first response to my doctor of many years was: I don't have fucking time for this shit. I've too many people to see, places to go, things to do! I've also been rewriting my story Life on the Farm. I've also been working to finish another story, Centennial, for the Revolutions Universe.
Having been healthy for most of my life, the news was shocking to say the least.
My mind has been all over the place. Elizabeth Kuebler Ross wrote extensively about the grief process. Yep, I've been in and out of denial, anger, sadness, though I am quickly moving into Acceptance because I have no other choice.
I am being evaluated / treated in a large University Hospital, rated in the top ten US cancer centers. The staff is superb. Their expertise, outstanding. Their compassion brings me to tears. Their hope is infectious. Even though no treatment will cure my disease, they, my family, and friends are hugely supportive. This means everything in the world.
Am I going to roll over defeated? No. Nope. Nodda.
Will I provide periodic updates? As they become available for as long as I can.
Peace out. Live life to the fullest. Keep on keeping on.
Until next time.
Joe Writer Man
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13756
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Seems to me, Joe, that you need to be truly selfish in a good way and do precisely what you want to do.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Damn right... be selfish; extremely selfish.
On the other hand, so-called miracles do happen. I'm living one of them.
At 06:30 Hrs EST on a blustery cold Tuesday morning 5-years ago this coming November 19th I lay down on the operating table to undergo a series of procedures originally designed to extend my life. Unfortunately the prognosis for these procedures because I had only 1% heart function in advance of the surgery was that I would expire on the operating table. I knew this. I had accepted this. I was a willing participant. My eldest Alan did not know the prognosis when he urged me to take the operation, having returned Thursday morning from Hospital after the final diagnosis to simply await the outcome and die at home in my own bed, believing it was my only chance for a relatively normal life. I called the Surgeon asking if he was prepared to go ahead with the operation? His response was a definite yes, as his was a Teaching Hospital and, not-with-standing the forecasted outcome, he was prepared to use the operation as a teaching exercise if I was willing.
A flurry of telephone calls to Montréal and back; hurried arrival of Lawyers within hours and whatnot to ensure continuity of a Family Trust to encompass adopted children not originally considered when the Trust was establish by my grandfather 50-years earlier, settlement of Will and Funeral Arrangements and all and the taxi ride Sunday evening back to the Hospital (at the Hospital's expense).
Much to mine amazement, and that of the entire cast in the operating théâtre, I some 7-hours later awoke from the operation, and I have subsequently enjoyed five glorious years more than I had any right to expect to enjoy with both of my sons, and hope to have five more.
There is one caveat: I bless each morning, and the dawning new day as I first face it upon awakening, considering each and everyone a gift that I have no earthly right to deserve, knowing that I could go at any moment and live each day accordingly.
Warren C. E. Austin
The Gay Deceiver
Toronto, Canada
"... comme recherché qu'un délice callipygian"
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solsticeman
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Registered: November 2012
Messages: 109
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I'm so impressed by the strength you are bringing to bear. Outcome so much depends on strength and attitude and you seem to have what's needed at this time. You and your work are much loved here, always have been... so hang in there and as Churchill wrote in margins in WW2... KBO... keep buggering on! Stay in touch, we shall be watching for you.
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JoeWriterMan
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Getting started |
Location: United States
Registered: September 2010
Messages: 20
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The test results are all in. The Stage has been upgraded well into 4. A scientifically calculated prognosis is 3-6 months. Damn.
I have, however, spent most of my life in 'rebel' mode, meaning that I buck the system whenever and wherever possible (so long as the buck entertains and benefits ME)!
In my heart, I tend to be a realist. I have worked with facts and figures most of my employed life, so, therefore, no surprise, I have reviewed and studied each test result, researched them further, searched for all available Western medicine treatments as well as alternative medicine avenues. Western medicine - palliative including hospice care is the only alternative, unless I would want to become a guinea pig (cute little critters, they are) and join a research study using the unproven latest and greatest advances medicine has to offer to date. My primary doctor said that while those advancements are available - the outcome would be the same and that my quality of life would plunge into the basement. No thank you - easy answer, one that I will live with - ok. Alternative medicine - pretty much the same.
Now knowing the facts, I'm taking off on a trip ... not far mind you, not long mind you, but far and long enough to make peace within myself and this world as I know it. Since I am a Pisces the first logical stop is the Gulf of Mexico, South Padre Island is on the top of the list. The next stop is - who knows how far I'll get before getting too tired to go further (except home).
What is utterly amazing to me is how I kept up with an insane work schedule and other commitments while my body continued to deteriorate day by day. Now that I am 'retired', my body says quite the opposite. The only part of retirement that makes any sense to me is: tired.
The denial voice tells me to go back to work, you can handle it, keep going, don't quit until the final curtain falls, man up, beef up...
Realist says to denial: I love you, who are you trying to fool?
Acceptance says: ok, get busy, do what you can. Make life as simple as possible. Don't go back to work, though. You'll waste too much time and energy, and not get anywhere. Acceptance goes on to say: Get busy cultivating family and friend relationships. Let them in. Let them share this journey with you - they need you just as much as you need them. Finally, it quiets and whispers: life is a journey, not a destination. We have plans for you in another time and place. In the meantime, play, love and rejoice that this lifetime became available right when you needed it the most.
Ok, I am listening to acceptance for it has the most hope and design for the present.
Good night.
Joe Writer Man
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13756
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May I add one 'task' to your load? Say what you need to say to those to whom you need to say it. Say it well, kindly, and, where necessary, firmly. Doing so will lighten your own load a smidgen. Smidgens are worthwhile.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Oh Lordy yes, smidgens are heaps worthwhile.
Warren C. E. Austin
The Gay Deceiver
Toronto, Canada
"... comme recherché qu'un délice callipygian"
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I wish you more good days then bad. Spend the time you have telling your loved ones how much they've added to your life. Make peace where you need to and try and enjoy what you can, while you can. Oh and when you can't, drink heavily. It won't help but you won't give a shit either.
Know that you've enriched our lives with the sharing of your gifts. And you made a difference, left a mark and changed the world for the better.
Peace and happiness to you.
John
aka Ricky the writer.
Wisdom does not come with age. It occurs because of it.
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ChrisR
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Location: Western US
Registered: October 2014
Messages: 136
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Thank you for sharing with us both in the past through your stories and now under less happy times. Friendship is about sharing both, and you've proven yourself a friend to us all.
By all means, South Padre should be on your 'to do' list! Blew off a lot of steam there on Spring Breaks back in the Pleistocene, and I hope it hasn't changed much since.
When you're able, do try to write some more. This time it's strictly your story, and we'll be honored to travel with you as guests, wherever the road takes you.
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Been on a few trips with your words, and I expect to enjoy more when I get to catch up on what you've written since.
We all move on. Have to sooner or later.
It's my firm belief we go on. We're more than just meat-bags. You take your lessons with you when you leave this meat-bag behind, and I believe you can come back in a new meat-bag, replete with those lessons as baggage.
So unload the ugly baggage and build up some more pretty stuff. End old arguments, give lots of hugs, and do things you've always wanted.
Safe journey there and back, and I hope to read more of your words in our next incarnations.
You've given plenty of us plenty of enjoyable times reading your words. We'll miss having more of them. And many more will go on enjoying the words you leave behind.
raysstories.com
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Mark
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Location: Earth
Registered: April 2013
Messages: 276
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That's the kind of news no one wants to ever receive. Know that you're in our thoughts, Joe, and I hope the treatments will allow you to stay with us for as long as possible, and that it will at the very least afford you some measure of physical, mental, and emotional comfort.
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I remember, a while back when I first discovered Iom that you were the first author I ever read, Joe. As I think back I remember wanting a finished story to read and something that was pretty long (careful ).
I chose The Light.
Flicking back through a few chapters I saw how much that story really opened me up to what gay fiction could do to your soul. The impact today is not quite the same as like most things in life the newness and innocence goes (anyone remember that feeling going to your first gay bar and hoping everyone wanted you? lol) well its the only thing I can mention that brings me to a feeling similar to when I first read gay fiction.
I often say that I read gay fiction because it reminds me of my younger days and yeah ok I'm only 33 but those younger days did seem more exciting and gritty. I miss those days and what they felt like, but reading certain stories can, and does emote some familiar feelings within. Maybe the real heart of it is rediscovering all those new feelings I went through. First love, first break up, first drink in a gay bar, first time clubbing in Heaven nightclub or Cruz 101 up in Manchester and of course the first time a cute guy gave me attention.
Anyway I am rambling now, but I haven't found many Authors who have that ability to take me back to days gone by, but Joe, you were one of them.
Thanks for showing me... The Light!
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Wonder if we'll ever know if you are ok or if you left us ![Sad](images/smiley_icons/icon_sad.gif)
Its been almost 4 months. Fearing the worst.
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Mark
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Location: Earth
Registered: April 2013
Messages: 276
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Quote:WestcliffWriter wrote on Sun, 25 October 2015 15:12Wonder if we'll ever know if you are ok or if you left us ![Sad](images/smiley_icons/icon_sad.gif)
Its been almost 4 months. Fearing the worst.
--
Now it's been just over 5 months, and we still haven't heard from Joe in a while. I think that by this point we must assume that he has left us for whatever lies on the other side.
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https://joewriterman.wordpress.com/authors-corner/04-9-healt h-notes/
Joe Writer Man
November 28, 2015 at 12:38 AM
Dear Readers,
You guys are the greatest. Thank you for your supportive words. They mean so much to me.
Thankfully, my condition seems to have stabilized. I mean that although I'm having some less than stellar days they are doable and are not getting me down. My nurses have been giving and continue to give me suggestions on how to live well despite challenges. I'm so grateful for their strength, guidance and support.
American citizens, yesterday, celebrated a national holiday: Thanksgiving.
Even if your culture does not celebrate such a holiday, I hope you find something each day to be grateful for. Always, anywhere, someone is going through something much, much worse than I am.
Media news presents such a sad state of affairs. Just recently, in our city, a story was told about how a 19 year old young lady was subjected to years of abuse, neglect, denigration of her person all for the reason of her foster family getting lots of public 'assistance' ($4,000.00) per month. The foster-famliy lived and played lavishly while the girl lived in filth and without adequate care.
Then there's the 14 year old boy who thrill-killed to meet gang join 'requirements'. But why? I'm told that kids join gangs to 'fit in', to receive 'love' and support. How sad is this?One thing that I'd like to clear up right now.
In 2004, I had the opportunity to travel the western United States. I was on a mission to find good wholesome people and to determine if the news represented all of America do all 14 year old boys kill to fit into a segment of society known to cause hurt and harm?
The answer I received was absolutely not. The message was consistent. Even ornery appearing kids had their limits. Most, like me, were of the Tom Sawyer type, meaning while mischievous they wren't violent or destructive, and did not intentionally hurt or harm another (although tossing t-p-paper across tops of trees cannot entirely be ruled out). I wasn't a kid who would soon receive canonization for sainthood but I wasn't on a fast straight track to hell either. Where I grew up, I'd have been busted at least twice for getting into trouble... and this was before my 'rents got hold of me. There was no mercy for crossing the line. And we learned to respect.
I learned a good lesson, one that's stuck with me for all these years: respect is earned.
Be well. Be thankful.
Joe Writer Man
[Updated on: Mon, 30 November 2015 04:55]
raysstories.com
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Even if he hasn't been here to say how he is, it's really reassuring to read that.
If you are out there Joe, we are thinking of you ![Smile](images/smiley_icons/icon_smile.gif)
West
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dookie11
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Getting started |
Location: dallas, TX
Registered: March 2016
Messages: 17
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Joe , wanting to hear that you're still writing .
Been a while .
Have we found you ?
dookie 11
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