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Hi....  [message #71333] Fri, 08 April 2016 15:21 Go to next message
Josh is currently offline  Josh

On fire!

Registered: April 2006
Messages: 1012



Hello to anyone who reads this.

I know I haven't been here in a while..
(And honestly feel super sad right now..)
But I hope you're all doing well..
I'm 27 now..
I first registered on this site 10 years ago.

Those were good times..
Anyway. Please have a good day today.
I hope you're all doing well..

Take care..

~Josh~
Re: Hi....  [message #71334 is a reply to message #71333] Fri, 08 April 2016 16:42 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13759



Why are you sad right now, Josh?



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Hi....  [message #71336 is a reply to message #71334] Fri, 08 April 2016 16:54 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Josh is currently offline  Josh

On fire!

Registered: April 2006
Messages: 1012



I get sad a lot actually.. ^^;
Either with listening to sad songs, or just things going on in my head..
Hence, I write prose and poems and stuff.
But I hope you're doing well Timmy.
Take care.

~Josh
Re: Hi....  [message #71339 is a reply to message #71336] Fri, 08 April 2016 17:19 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13759



I am doing well, my friend. But I do worry about you when you are sad. You often build a wall around yourself and do not allow folk to be inside it with you.

Sometimes we need a ladder to let other good folk behind our walls.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Hi....  [message #71340 is a reply to message #71339] Fri, 08 April 2016 17:44 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Josh is currently offline  Josh

On fire!

Registered: April 2006
Messages: 1012



I'll be okay. Smile
I'm used to being sad...
Not that that makes it any better.

A lot of the time, I don't feel like I'm real.
I don't know what that means. I feel like there's more then one me, in here.
And that I'm just borrowing everything from him.

Josh has everything.
And I don't. I don't know who I am..
I don't know what it means to be real.
Most times, my darker half will say things like I'm not worth anything, and how no one would want me..

It's just hard to deal with. But we deal with it..
Cause we have to.

But of course, I can't tell anyone.
Cause it would hurt more if we did.
I'm just borrowing everything from Josh.
I write poems almost daily. Most of them are sad, or about self-harm, which I've experienced..

When I say "I", I don't know who I'm referring to.
Most times I just fake it. I'm able to have good and happy times.
But aside from that, I'm a wreck..^^;

It's just hard sometimes..
Reading Chris and Nigel cheers me up though.
Thanks for writing that. And sharing it. I think it's beautiful.


I'll be okay.
Somehow...
Thanks though..

~J
Re: Hi....  [message #71341 is a reply to message #71340] Fri, 08 April 2016 18:18 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13759



I know you'll be ok. That I understand. But I would like some of us, one of us, to be able to let you work out how to be whole and be content. I'm happy that one of my stories cheers you up, and yet, if you allow one of us, some of us, to help you be increasingly content, cheered, cheerful.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Hi....  [message #71342 is a reply to message #71341] Fri, 08 April 2016 18:32 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Josh is currently offline  Josh

On fire!

Registered: April 2006
Messages: 1012



Thanks.
I appreciate that.
I think I consider myself to be a mixed bag of emotions.
I can be happy and at the same time, sad.
Does that sound weird?
It might.

I don't know who I am, or who I identify with.
It's strange.
I want to be happy. But at the same time, I don't know if I deserve happiness.

I'm hoping that I can be.
And most of my writings now are sad, or come from a sad place..
I hope it's alright if I post them here.

I can identify with pain. And sadness.
Unfortunately.
I hope that these feelings are my own. Or even one of ours.
That would be nice.

Take care.

~J
Re: Hi....  [message #71343 is a reply to message #71342] Fri, 08 April 2016 19:20 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13759



"Deserve" is a weird word. I think it was invented in order to let someone reward someone else. You have no need to be rewarded, do you?

You don't need permission to have emotions, happy, sad, euphoric, content, any of these and more. But, if you feel it requires permission, I give you that permission freely and without being asked.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Hi....  [message #71344 is a reply to message #71343] Fri, 08 April 2016 20:45 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Josh is currently offline  Josh

On fire!

Registered: April 2006
Messages: 1012



Thanks Timmy.
We appreciate that.

~J
Re: Hi....  [message #71499 is a reply to message #71333] Thu, 05 May 2016 17:45 Go to previous messageGo to next message
jamjames1971 is currently offline  jamjames1971

Getting started
Location: united states
Registered: October 2005
Messages: 2




HI Josh read your  post thought I would say Hi and hope you have a wonderful day... would like to chat sometime if your interested. My names James
Re: Hi....  [message #71501 is a reply to message #71499] Thu, 05 May 2016 20:39 Go to previous message
Josh is currently offline  Josh

On fire!

Registered: April 2006
Messages: 1012



Hi James.
That would be fine. Thanks.
Take care.

~J
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