A Place of Safety
I expect simple behaviours here. Friendship, and love.
Any advice should be from the perspective of the person asking, not the person giving!
We have had to make new membership moderated to combat the huge number of spammers who register
















You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > TransGender Issues
TransGender Issues  [message #76237] Tue, 19 November 2019 22:35 Go to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13647



I'm looking for someone to take hold of our Trans page, and to shake it into some sort of shape. You write it, maybe in Word, maybe Open Office or LIbre Office. I'll convert it



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: TransGender Issues  [message #76250 is a reply to message #76237] Sun, 24 November 2019 16:11 Go to previous message
Bisexual_Guy is currently offline  Bisexual_Guy

Likes it here
Location: USA Midwest
Registered: September 2015
Messages: 141



Timmy, that is an excellent article.  As someone who has a good friend who is transgender male-to-female (and has had the appropriate surgeries), the article referenced is one to help cisgender persons be respectful in interactions with trander people.

My friend told me in advance of the decision to do the surgical transition.  There was much consultation with psychologists prior to that decision.  (This was almost 20 years ago that the transition happened.)  Many of us knew her before, in a work environment, when she was male.  Things she was required to do before the transition included--

A) Living as a female for at least two years before surgical transition.
B) Consultation with psychologists and/or psychiatrists over that period of time.
C) Discussion the children about the upcoming transition.  (As a male, she had been married for 20 years and fathered two children.  [One of the factors which caused her to decide to transition when she did was that, while still male, his wife decided to cheat numerous times with a guy and even bring him regularly into their home to have sex with while her husband was still living there!])  This made my friend feel almost worthless.)
D) Money had to be saved up for the surgery.  The surgery had to be done in Canada, because in was only one third the cost there, and insurance did not cover it.
E) My friend had to evaluate the reactions of co-workers and friends to the decision, and decide whether it was worth it to go through with the surgery.

I was the ONLY person who called her in Canada after the surgery.  She said that meant a lot to her.  No family called, no other friends or current and past co-workers called.

After the surgery, she said only two of us at her former workplace treated her with the same respect and decency that had been shown befoe.

About asking questions, she said I could ask questions, and she would try to answer them, with the provison that if they were too personal she retained the right to not answer.

She also stated the, for her, the worst part of the surgery to transition was the removal of the prostate to make room for her new vagina.  (I don't know if it is still done this way, but at that time the procedure involved more or less [in her description]  turning the penis inside out and using it to help form the new vagina.)

One of the things that surprised her, she commented, was that some persons who treated her well while living as female before the surgery treated her with unease after she had the surgery.

She commented more than once to me that she appreciated being treated with the same respect both before and after her transition to female, and appreciated also the respect received from the one female co-worker who continued the complete respect.  Respect is key.
Previous Topic: Of abuse
Next Topic: twin flame??
Goto Forum: