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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13771
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I read a lot. Sometimes certain words make me wonder whether to bother continuing. Here are some:
- Glutes
- Rectum
- Boypussy/boipussy
The first two are unimaginative. The third is feminising a legitimate body part. It is more imaginative, certainly, and yet I find it nauseating
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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The Composer
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: September 2018
Messages: 87
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The best way to write about sex is to leave a lot to the reader's imagination.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13771
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"The Composer wrote on Sun, 03 May 2020 16:35"The best way to write about sex is to leave a lot to the reader's imagination.
--
That 'goes without saying' of course. I managed to write that without giggling.
Nonetheless I just junked a tale that spoke of a partner "twitching his glutes and massaging...." Well, fuck that phraseology for a game of soldiers!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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The Composer
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: September 2018
Messages: 87
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Well - whatever turns you on ...
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Add frenulum to the list, Tim.
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: Music and Cats." - Albert Schweitzer
It's like Mad Max out here: guys doing guys, girls doing girls, girls turning into guys and doing girls that used to do girls and guys!
- from Alex Truelove
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Once I got beyond the attraction of the lust inherent is some sexual stories it became apparent to me that those words and others were about nothing but lust in most all cases. I don't particularly find myself attracted to those kinds of stories. While I do think there are times when descriptions of a sexual encounter add to the story rather than detract from it, those times are minimal in number and as The Composer says, most of that is best left in the reader's mind.
Saying all that, I believe there is a way of writing a good story while also educating the young reader to such things as safe sex practices as well as do's and don'ts, and methods of providing pleasure to one's partner. Sure, kids and adults (if they've gotten to that point and have yet to experience gay sex) will learn as they go, but a little knowledge aforehand is certainly a help, even in straight sex. If we can provide that education within the context of a well written story I think we should.
But boypussy and such like? Really? We can do better! LOL
“There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.” - Terry Pratchett
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The Composer
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: September 2018
Messages: 87
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"But boypussy and such like?"
But there are people out there who like that sort of thing. I don't, you don't, Timmy doesn't but others do.
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Merkin
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Getting started |
Location: Virginia, U.S.A.
Registered: October 2017
Messages: 13
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One raptly awaits seeing how this conversation will continue to unfold.
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American_Alex
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Toe is in the water |
Location: New York, upstate
Registered: October 2017
Messages: 98
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I really don't like the word "cocyx", except when playing Scrabble.
"Able was I ere I saw Elba"
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There's two categories of terminology here: anatomical and gender-morphed (is that the correct technical term, LOL?)
One wonders if the offensive is taken at overuse, or at the casual and ill considered use of anatomical terminology in a story. Among the ones mentioned so far:
Glutes (Glutemus Maximus): The gluteus maximus muscle is located in the buttocks and is regarded as one of the strongest muscles in the human body.
Glutes (Glutemus medius): The gluteus medius, one of the three gluteal muscles, is a broad, thick, radiating muscle. It is situated on the outer surface of the pelvis.
Rectum: The rectum is a continuation of the sigmoid colon, and connects to the anus.
Frenulum: The frenulum of prepuce of penis, often known simply as the frenulum, is an elastic band of tissue under the glans penis that connects the foreskin (prepuce) to the vernal mucosa, and helps contract the foreskin over the glans.
Coccyx: The coccyx, also known as the tailbone, is a small, triangular bone resembling a shortened tail located at the bottom of the spine. ( I don't recall coming across this yet in gay fiction!)
A dozen or so more could be added to the list. There are undoubtedly appropriate times to use the anatomical terms, but what's the criteria, and does frequent use belies a lack of creative thinking, to say nothing or romantic understanding.
On the gender-morphed terminology, I've never understood it. It always sturck me as some type of unresolved gender issue on the part of the author!
[Updated on: Tue, 05 May 2020 15:53]
Bensiamin
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American_Alex
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Toe is in the water |
Location: New York, upstate
Registered: October 2017
Messages: 98
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Sounds like Timmy is dredging for a prize amongst the bottom-dwellers over at N*f**. As a sage once said, "If you lie down with dogs, yer gonna get fleas!"
I can just imagine the scenarios that those words are used in; tawdry lust-filled narritives describing body parts and fluids, likely in an exploitive setting, penned by a horny 13 year old. Sorry, but I can no longer read that trash. I feel like I need a shower afterwards. At least most of them get straight to the sex by paragraph #3....
But, perhaps a quick word search could be used tho parse out the duds? You've already hit some of the top word used in stories that should best be left in the dumpster (or "tip" for those who speak the Queen's English..). I would also like to add these following words that would never be used in a story here:
Diaper
Handcuffs
Whip
Dom/sub
Prostate
And, any story written in Comic Sans font.....
"Able was I ere I saw Elba"
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"American_Alex wrote on Wed, 06 May 2020 10:05"And, any story written in Comic Sans font.....
--
Now we're just "tip"-ing over into fetish territory! LOL
“There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.” - Terry Pratchett
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13771
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Font is something I deal with in terms of house stye.
The awkward words arrive in my inbox in stories that get pushed back for a bit of an edit. But I also read Nifty (you can type the name, you know. David isn't Voldemort) to see what is good and, mostly, what is not
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Bisexual_Guy
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Likes it here |
Location: USA Midwest
Registered: September 2015
Messages: 156
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"Bensiamin wrote on Tue, 05 May 2020 15:34"There's two categories of terminology here: anatomical and gender-morphed (is that the correct technical term, LOL?)
One wonders if the offensive is taken at overuse, or at the casual and ill considered use of anatomical terminology in a story. Among the ones mentioned so far:
Glutes (Glutemus Maximus): The gluteus maximus muscle is located in the buttocks and is regarded as one of the strongest muscles in the human body.
Glutes (Glutemus medius): The gluteus medius, one of the three gluteal muscles, is a broad, thick, radiating muscle. It is situated on the outer surface of the pelvis.
Rectum: The rectum is a continuation of the sigmoid colon, and connects to the anus.
Frenulum: The frenulum of prepuce of penis, often known simply as the frenulum, is an elastic band of tissue under the glans penis that connects the foreskin (prepuce) to the vernal mucosa, and helps contract the foreskin over the glans.
Coccyx: The coccyx, also known as the tailbone, is a small, triangular bone resembling a shortened tail located at the bottom of the spine. ( I don't recall coming across this yet in gay fiction!)
A dozen or so more could be added to the list. There are undoubtedly appropriate times to use the anatomical terms, but what's the criteria, and does frequent use belies a lack of creative thinking, to say nothing or romantic understanding.
On the gender-morphed terminology, I've never understood it. It always sturck me as some type of unresolved gender issue on the part of the author!
-- I have no problem with frenulum. I rarely see it. Another person mentioned the word "prostate." I see that more often. Although once, years ago, the local newspaper ran an article on "the prostrate gland." The word prostrate was used more than 20 times instead of prostate.
But the one that gets me the most is when someone uses "shutter" for "shudder."
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"Bisexual_Guy wrote on Thu, 07 May 2020 00:00"-- I have no problem with frenulum. I rarely see it. Another person mentioned the word "prostate." I see that more often. Although once, years ago, the local newspaper ran an article on "the prostrate gland." The word prostrate was used more than 20 times instead of prostate.
But the one that gets me the most is when someone uses "shutter" for "shudder."
--
I'm with you on "shutter". Also on countless other words. One that comes to mind is the many story writers here and other places that interchangnably use the words "wonder" and "wander" and their derivatives, as if they are the same when they are far from it. Without printing their entire Webster definitions here...
Wonder - noun
a feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable. - "he had stood in front of it, observing the intricacy of the ironwork with the wonder of a child"
Wander - verb
walk or move in a leisurely, casual, or aimless way. - "he wandered aimlessly through the narrow streets"
[Updated on: Thu, 07 May 2020 20:29]
“There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.” - Terry Pratchett
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13771
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'He nodded his head "no".'
In how many cultures does nodding the head significy the negative?
But there are two things wrong here. 'He shook his head' is sufficient.We know it means 'no'.
However I am more interested in those weird physical descriptors. And I have found a few more that I wonder at:
- Love button - seriously, give me the prostate any time
- Cherry - never understood that term male or female
- Rosebud - it is many things, but tends not to have any rose scented attributes
I don't have an aversion to naming handcuffs, diapers, and so forth, but those tend to be not my type of tale, and I am going nowhere near scat!
I don't mind anus, asshole, nor arsehole, nor the various more usual words for a penis, but not a 'boy-dick' please. That seems to crop up in adult/youth tales, and I suppose is to emphasise the youth of the youth. Teenager to teenager that phrase ought never to occur, even if one is more advanced in puberty than the other
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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The Composer
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: September 2018
Messages: 87
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Your, you're and yore.
Or:
"He smiled at trhem weekly'.
Did he make a note in his diary?
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13771
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"The Composer wrote on Sat, 09 May 2020 17:46"Your, you're and yore.
Or:
"He smiled at trhem weekly'.
Did he make a note in his diary?
--
In his dairy, I think. But these are simply the incorrect word, won that mite offend in away, but not one that is offensive accept as an error
[Updated on: Sat, 09 May 2020 18:30]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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"timmy wrote on Thu, 07 May 2020 15:23"
- Love button - seriously, give me the prostate any time
--
On the subject of prostate...
When I was a teenager, my parents, believing I was in need of some serious soul saving, chose to send me away to a coed religious boarding high school. The girls were housed in one dormitory, the boys in another on opposite ends of the campus, and never the twain shall meet except in the classrooms and cafeteria buildings between. Oh, the things we boys could get up to in the dormitory during lights out! But that's not what this story is about.
So being the musically inclined young man that I was, I took private voice lessons and was involved in choir and elite choir as well as several other musical opportunities. One Friday during my voice lesson the choir leader informed me that I was to lead the singing in chapel that weekend. He picked out the hymns I would lead and told me to go over them before chapel. I thought I had better things to do, of course, and neglected to follow his advice. So on Sunday church I get up to lead the singing and encounter the words of the final, triumphat hymn as follows:
All hail the power of Jesus name!
Let angels prostrate fall!
Let angels prostrate fall!
And of course I misread the word "prostrate" and sang it as "prostate". For the rest of time at that school my nickname in the dorm and on the playing field was "Prostate" Sigh...
[Updated on: Sat, 09 May 2020 20:48]
“There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.” - Terry Pratchett
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The Composer
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: September 2018
Messages: 87
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It remains an object of fascinated curiosity for the British to see how much a certain section of American society takes religion so seriously. This comes out very clearly in very many of the stories hosted on this site, where a common theme is a gay teenager being thrown out of the house simply on the grounds that he is gay.
In 1988, I did a job swap to Melbourne in Australia. A day or so after I landed I was invited by a senior colleague to have dinner with him and his family. We started off with drinks outside, and the air was filled with mosquitoes. Mosquitoes find me particularly succulent. I think my hosts noticed this, and we went indoors for dinner. There was a glass of orange juice in front of me, and I picked up to take a sip, which point my host asked me: "Do you say grace before dinner?". I realised I had made a faux pas. I had started dinner before grace had been said.
But that was the first of many cultural and other problems I had with Melbourne.
[Updated on: Sun, 10 May 2020 09:18]
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"The Composer wrote on Sun, 10 May 2020 02:17"It remains an object of fascinated curiosity for the British to see how much a certain section of American society takes religion so seriously. This comes out very clearly in very many of the stories hosted on this site, where a common theme is a gay teenager being thrown out of the house simply on the grounds that he is gay.
In 1988, I did a job swap to Melbourne in Australia. A day or so after I landed I was invited by a senior colleague to have dinner with him and his family. We started off with drinks outside, and the air was filled with mosquitoes. Mosquitoes find me particularly succulent. I think my hosts noticed this, and we went indoors for dinner. There was a glass of orange juice in front of me, and I picked up to take a sip, which point my host asked me: "Do you say grace before dinner?". I realised I had made a faux pas. I had started dinner before grace had been said.
But that was the first of many cultural and other problems I had with Melbourne.
--
My observations of the European countries is that at one time the dogmatism American Christians currently display was prealent in Europe 100 years ago but your churches have emptied. America has yet to reach that milestone but from studies I've seen published that decline is quickly gaining pace here, thankfully. I just hope it will continue, the sooner the better.
But I'm not sure what this has to do exactly with "Story words that just don't do it for me"
“There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.” - Terry Pratchett
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The Composer
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: September 2018
Messages: 87
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Thread drift. It was following your anecdote about your early life.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13771
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Oh lord. 'boy cunt' arrived in a tale I was reading today. No. Just no. Be assured in your maleness
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Pkew
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Getting started |
Registered: September 2017
Messages: 6
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"Teddy wrote on Thu, 07 May 2020 20:26"
"Bisexual_Guy wrote on Thu, 07 May 2020 00:00"-- I have no problem with frenulum. I rarely see it. Another person mentioned the word "prostate." I see that more often. Although once, years ago, the local newspaper ran an article on "the prostrate gland." The word prostrate was used more than 20 times instead of prostate.
But the one that gets me the most is when someone uses "shutter" for "shudder."
--
I'm with you on "shutter". Also on countless other words. One that comes to mind is the many story writers here and other places that interchangnably use the words "wonder" and "wander" and their derivatives, as if they are the same when they are far from it. Without printing their entire Webster definitions here...
Wonder - noun
a feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable. - "he had stood in front of it, observing the intricacy of the ironwork with the wonder of a child"
Wander - verb
walk or move in a leisurely, casual, or aimless way. - "he wandered aimlessly through the narrow streets"
I think they need an editor. I was reading a story on gayauthors that often had a dozen wrong words and tenses, in every chapter. The author even managed to get two wrong words in a three word sentence. I started pointing them out, he still carried on getting them wrong.
Even quite good writers sometimes repeatedly use the wrong word. In one story ,in which the author used many obscure words correctly ( I had to look them up ) , he consistently used " 'cause I am" instead of " 'course I am" , meaning " of course I am" . 'cause would be short for "because", which didn't make sense as a reply to the question asked.
Loose/lose is so common I'm actually surprised when someone gets it right nowadays.
I also wonder about the sudden introduction of stringed instruments into stories. I'll be reading and suddenly, with no justification, the author puts "viola" 🙂.
I also rarely see frenulum, but that's enough about my sex life, or lack of.
[Updated on: Mon, 11 May 2020 15:22]
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13771
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I'd like to see a frenulum. Mine was stolen.
Amusing that one joins the inside of the top lip to the gum. Can't see that one either, but I know it's there
[Updated on: Mon, 11 May 2020 16:18]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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"The Composer wrote on Mon, 11 May 2020 06:38"Thread drift. It was following your anecdote about your early life.
--
Ah... Got it. I started the thred drift and you were editorializing on my anecdote.
It makes sense in that context, and I don't mind thread drift a whole lot anyhow. I used to moderate a large, recovery themed discussion board where users would hijack the topics other people had started about recovery questions they had. In that case thread drift was frowned on but we're a little looser than that here and can usually bring it back on track on our own
“There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.” - Terry Pratchett
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The Composer
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: September 2018
Messages: 87
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"Loose/lose is so common I'm actually surprised when someone gets it right nowadays."
And how about 'discrete' and 'discreet'?
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"The Composer wrote on Tue, 12 May 2020 03:28""Loose/lose is so common I'm actually surprised when someone gets it right nowadays."
And how about 'discrete' and 'discreet'?
--
Discrete is an uncommon word, I believe. I may have encountered it a half dozen times, hardly more than that, but in these days of autocorrect and predictive text it has sneaked its way into things I've done. I believe I've always managed to catch it.
“There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.” - Terry Pratchett
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13771
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"Teddy wrote on Tue, 12 May 2020 21:59"
"The Composer wrote on Tue, 12 May 2020 03:28""Loose/lose is so common I'm actually surprised when someone gets it right nowadays."
And how about 'discrete' and 'discreet'?
--
Discrete is an uncommon word, I believe. I may have encountered it a half dozen times, hardly more than that, but in these days of autocorrect and predictive text it has sneaked its way into things I've done. I believe I've always managed to catch it.
--
I'm used to using it in everyday conversation, so it may be a cultural thing
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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"timmy wrote on Tue, 12 May 2020 15:31"
"Teddy wrote on Tue, 12 May 2020 21:59"
"The Composer wrote on Tue, 12 May 2020 03:28""Loose/lose is so common I'm actually surprised when someone gets it right nowadays."
And how about 'discrete' and 'discreet'?
--
Discrete is an uncommon word, I believe. I may have encountered it a half dozen times, hardly more than that, but in these days of autocorrect and predictive text it has sneaked its way into things I've done. I believe I've always managed to catch it.
--
I'm used to using it in everyday conversation, so it may be a cultural thing
--
I was wondering if that might be the case. Or just me living a sheltered life! LOL
“There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.” - Terry Pratchett
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cm
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Toe is in the water |
Location: Somerset
Registered: May 2017
Messages: 64
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On topic: 'Fuckstick'. Hate it.
On drift: Why do so many people use 'you can't underestimate...' when they mean 'you can't overestimate...' (and vice versa)?
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13771
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"cm wrote on Wed, 13 May 2020 13:01"On topic: 'Fuckstick'. Hate it.
On drift: Why do so many people use 'you can't underestimate...' when they mean 'you can't overestimate...' (and vice versa)?
--
But you can't underestimate Donald Trump's nor Boris Johnson's competence at leadership.
Which leads me to the word 'overbalance'. Surely, if you topple over, you underbalance? Overbalancing ought to mean you are rigidly and unassailably upright.
[Updated on: Wed, 13 May 2020 13:24]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13771
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I have just found 'copulate' in a tale. That was the last word I read in it
I'm not desperately keen on authors who preface words with 'boy-' with or without the hyphen
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I agree with you Tim, I especially don't like bubble butt and Boy CU**.
I am sick of the stories that are sex from the word go and mostly tight young bodies with swimmers build etc etc etc
Doesn't anyone care to write about NORMAL people without the fantasy attributes?
I know these stories are fiction but it would be refreshing to get a POV that isn't covered with rose glasses.
I guess I am getting OLD and acting like a fuddy duddy like my Uncles says. :lol:
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Well, the stories here are mostly teen fiction, and while there is a wide variety of body shapes among teens they do seem to have a much higher percentage of fit or at least slim and shapely bodies. Certainly there are a lot more fit teens than there are fit geezers... 😂
But you do make a point.
[Updated on: Sun, 17 May 2020 07:15]
“There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.” - Terry Pratchett
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13771
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I think the issue is that our beloved is always our ideal. If you adore Bert his gut is invisible and he has your ideal build because you adore Bert.
I try not to be overly descriptive of body type. The pictures are better on the radio. I like long muscles, not bodybuilder muscles. Generally I may describe those. I like the kind of sleek, svelte boys that I imagine myself to have been once. And yet I was attracted to a dumpy lad of less than perfect body because he was adorable. He was the exception.
I've no concept of a 'swimmer's build' unless the shoulders are far too broad and are out of proportion with the rest.
In general the broadest brush description of a cheeky face with a swathe of (random colour) hair that just made you wonder if his eyes were brown or blue... that works. 'Pete carried a little too much weight on his slender frame. My height, maybe a tad taller, it hid his strength, clothing it in a softening layer. Make no mistake, Pete was an athlete, but he was a little out of training...' What you imagine from that is what you imagine.
But we haven't mentioned anything in detail, especially the trigger words that turn me right off.
I knew a lad with what I presume to be a bubble butt. It was a decently muscled rump, but it was the one thing that spoiled him for me. His face, though, was cute as cute can be. I expect I'd have got over the rather muscular bottom. Well, with a step ladder, at least!
[Updated on: Sun, 17 May 2020 10:43]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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"timmy wrote on Sun, 17 May 2020 03:42"I knew a lad with what I presume to be a bubble butt. It was a decently muscled rump, but it was the one thing that spoiled him for me. His face, though, was cute as cute can be. I expect I'd have got over the rather muscular bottom. Well, with a step ladder, at least!
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The term "bubble butt" is over used to be sure but maybe not as grating for me as some of the others mentioned. But why use it when you don't need to? Which of the following examples is better?
- In 8th grade there was this kid that made me know for real that I different than my peers. His name was Greg. His bubble butt was hard to miss. I couldn't keep my eyes off it. I hated him for his ass, loathed him even. I didn't like what my admiration of his it might mean, but there was no way I was going to bully him for it. I might ruin the view.
- In 8th grade there was this kid that made me know for real that I different than my peers. His name was Greg. His tush stuck out round and beautiful behind. I couldn't keep my eyes off it. I hated him for his ass, loathed him even. I didn't like what my admiration of it might mean, but there was no way I was going to bully him for it. I might ruin the view.
“There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.” - Terry Pratchett
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joecasey
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Toe is in the water |
Location: American Midwest
Registered: December 2017
Messages: 44
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Perhaps an even more oblique reference?
In eighth grade there was a boy who made me understand just how different I was from my peers: Greg. Everything about him clamored for my unspoken attention, but there - at the middle of him - was that which first called out to me ... a world cleft asunder, neatly in two, perfect, there for my silent appreciation, hummocked there beneath his threadbare denims, its unseen geography demanding exploration. I hated him for this - loathed him, even - for this thing I did not, could not possess. I hated him, too, for the way it teased and tickled my basest desires ... but there was no way I was going to bully him for it. I might ruin the view!
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"joecasey wrote on Sun, 17 May 2020 19:29"Perhaps an even more oblique reference?
In eighth grade there was a boy who made me understand just how different I was from my peers: Greg. Everything about him clamored for my unspoken attention, but there - at the middle of him - was that which first called out to me ... a world cleft asunder, neatly in two, perfect, there for my silent appreciation, hummocked there beneath his threadbare denims, its unseen geography demanding exploration. I hated him for this - loathed him, even - for this thing I did not, could not possess. I hated him, too, for the way it teased and tickled my basest desires ... but there was no way I was going to bully him for it. I might ruin the view![/font-family][/font-family][/font-size][/font-size]
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I like that!
I suppose though that a person could strive so valiantly to avoid using a word or phrase as to drown the reader in adjectives. Not saying it's happening here, but I can think of at least one author on another site who does. I've developed a love/hate reaction to his work because his stories are great except where they are periodically interspersed with these weird segments of descriptions of body parts sex acts, or the the desire involved for one or the other.
“There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.” - Terry Pratchett
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The Composer
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: September 2018
Messages: 87
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" one author on another site who does"
Do tell.
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