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cole parker
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Toe is in the water |
Location: California
Registered: July 2018
Messages: 38
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This is a delightful story! Looking forward to the next chapter.
Somehow, I think Earls and vast estates like this would work better in the UK than the USA!
Cole
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13759
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Inheritance is not written in the classic 'story style', so some folk may find the storytelling unexpected. That's ok. It has sufficiebnt merit to make it well worth reading.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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joecasey
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Toe is in the water |
Location: American Midwest
Registered: December 2017
Messages: 44
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I think the newly installed Earl of Braeborne might do well to keep a competent proofreader on retainer. It's very hard to figure out who is speaking most of the time; I fear that the author's cavalier attitude towards most grammatical and punctuation conventions is going to make this story a bit of a slog for readers.
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Written in U.K. english using english writing customs
The Braeboune Estate is located in Worcestershire.
Thanks for your remarks. Robert.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13759
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"joecasey wrote on Mon, 01 April 2024 03:41" I think the newly installed Earl of Braeborne might do well to keep a competent proofreader on retainer. It's very hard to figure out who is speaking most of the time; I fear that the author's cavalier attitude towards most grammatical and punctuation conventions is going to make this story a bit of a slog for readers.
--
Somewhat harsh, that.
There are a few errors that crept in during comnversion, a few words with g aps in them, which happens sometimes. I nuked a few of those just now. Doubtless there are typos. I can and will correct those when told by email by the author, or if I spot them first. I do that for everyone.
"...most of the time" is something I disagree with. There is a convention that, where a speaker speaks in multiple paragraphs the speech marks do not close at the end of the first of those, nor do they open at the start of the second, and so forth. This convention is as often ignored as complied with by all authors.
Weere perfickly cabaple ov ridding lynes off tickst wiv multible mitsakes wivvart blincing. Knot vat I sea vatt hear.
I think we can infer that you don't like the tale, but that is absolutely fine. Why should any of us like all the tales here?
But consider, please, how you would feel if your first accepted tale on this site received these comments?
[Updated on: Mon, 01 April 2024 08:38]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13759
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"robert cooper wrote on Mon, 01 April 2024 09:17"Written in U.K. english using english writing customs
The Braeboune Estate is located in Worcestershire.
Thanks for your remarks. Robert.
--
If you see errors that have crept in during the publishing process, or if there is anything you would like me to alter, please email me, Robert. All I need to know is the old text to be corrected and the new text you wish to replace it with. That lets me find it and handle it with ease. I do the same for everyone.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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joecasey
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Toe is in the water |
Location: American Midwest
Registered: December 2017
Messages: 44
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I'm not saying I didn't like the story. It's fine. My only issue was with some particular bits of dialog that seemed to be written and punctuated as if they were being spoken by two different people when, in fact, it was one person speaking in a sustained monologue. Each sentence in the speech got its own set of quotation marks and its own line break, which made it confusing. Perhaps, as you say, that's the British style of writing. This American found it confusing. I extend my apologies to Mr. Cooper; I did not mean to impugn the quality of his storytelling.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13759
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I think the speech marks convention is both universal in the English speaking world, and abided by and ignored in equal measure.
Thank you for your additional comments to Robert Cooper, above. How do you feel about offering to proofread for any author who wishes, perhaps also supplying editor's comments?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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joecasey
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Toe is in the water |
Location: American Midwest
Registered: December 2017
Messages: 44
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It's especially trying when one is confronted with an author like Cormac McCarthy, who eschewed any sort of literary device to indicate speech in his novels ... and seemed to get away with it! I've played with a couple of techniques in my writing, but I've found that it's safest to cleave to convention when writing dialog.
If your offer to edit is a serious one, I would be interested, but I would want--and welcome--anyone wanting editing advice to read my work on this site first. I really have no idea how my writing compares to that of other authors.
I didn't mean to hijack this post. I truly wish Mr. Cooper every success with this and any other story he submits to this site for publication. IOMFATS is one of the best sites for new authors to try out their craft and receive useful feedback from others.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13759
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People are always looking for editors. Less true the other way around! The best way is a private approach to someone whose work you enjoy but hope you can add polish to.
[Updated on: Mon, 01 April 2024 18:44]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Mark
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Likes it here |
Location: Earth
Registered: April 2013
Messages: 277
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I feel a bit like JoeCasey. I'm not saying I don't like the story - far from it. It does seem like an interesting story from what I've read so far (through ch. 4 at the time of this writing). But at the same time, the format is a bit off-putting. Practically each spoken sentence by the person talking getting its own paragraph, which isn't how I generally am used to seeing things (generally, as I've understood it, one doesn't start a new paragraph unless there is a 'change in subject,' if that makes sense, or if two or more people are having a conversation and are giving short responses of one or two sentences at a time). Plus, the not always using punctuation to end sentences when I was taught that there should be (I'm accustomed to seeing statements ending with either a period if there's nothing coming immediately after the second quotation marks - i.e. "Bob wanted me to say hello to everyone." - or a comma if there was something in the sentence coming after the second quotation marks - i.e. "Here's the apple you wanted," Sam told Bob).
Plus there is some formatting issues, though that just may be the way the programming is presenting it (putting extra spacing in, or moving part of a sentence down to the next "paragraph," etc.) rather than how it was written.
Yes, as Joe noted, this may be "the British way" when writing (I am a bit surprised, since I like to think I've read more than a few things from authors from the UK over the years, and certainly have never encountered this style - or maybe format would be the correct word here? - of writing before), but here is a second American who found it a bit confusing.
And I am offering up my services as an editor if anyone is wishing for such services (either formally or in an unofficial capacity if anyone ever just wants to have a second set of eyes to go over something to help make sure it makes as much sense as they're hoping).
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13759
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Para splitting is an accident of conversion. Or, rather, the routine ecounters something it can only interpret as an extraordinary paragrpah break. These are hard to check for, but I'll have another pass through what is there so far
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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cole parker
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Toe is in the water |
Location: California
Registered: July 2018
Messages: 38
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I'm still reading and enjoying this tale. Now I've come upon a word I've never encountered before, and am wondering if it's in everyone's vocabulary other than mine. How many of you know this word? How many of you use it? I suppose I should have encountered it as the dictionary says it was first used in 1833, so it isn't a new word. Except to me.
The word is 'somewhen'. Do others know this word? It's obvious what it means. But it took me by surprise.
Cole
[Updated on: Fri, 12 April 2024 23:31] |
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joecasey
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Toe is in the water |
Location: American Midwest
Registered: December 2017
Messages: 44
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I've never used it nor seen it in print before now. Perhaps it's one of those Anglicisms of which American readers are unaware. The online dictionaries I see describe it as "rare, nonstandard, archaic." It seems to have been supplanted by the word "sometime."
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cole parker
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Toe is in the water |
Location: California
Registered: July 2018
Messages: 38
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I too thought that maybe our Anglo cousins made use of this word and somehow it hadn't made it's way across the water. We need to hear from someone on their shores.
C
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13759
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I think it is another pleasing idiosyncracy of the story. Language is fluid and living, It changes. Is this old or new? Certainly I have not heard it before, but I know, instantly, what it means. That is all that matters.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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ivor slipper
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Likes it here |
Registered: September 2013
Messages: 128
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Not a word I've ever come across. Definitely not one I'd expect to hear in this day and age.
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I've encountered it once or twice - I think only in speech, and only in Scotland. I suppose it might avoid any confusion with "sometime" when that is used in the sense of"quondam", though I cn't offhand think of any situation where such confusion might arise.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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Bisexual_Guy
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Likes it here |
Location: USA Midwest
Registered: September 2015
Messages: 155
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I have seen "somewhen" in print in two or three stories, and also heard it in (not very casual) conversation.
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Paul
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Getting started |
Location: Mississippi USA
Registered: January 2022
Messages: 3
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Possibly it is like "anywho", meaning "anyway". Dialects are vast and far-reaching. Archaic terms sometimes can find their way into a particular dialect and stay, for-ev-er!
Paul
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I have used 'somewhen' since I was a young boy. It is common parlance in London where I was raised.My father used it and he was educated in a strict public school. I am surprised that my english readers should find it strange though I expect it fell off the boat half way accross the Atlantic. Regards to all and thanks for reading my first literary attempt
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"robert cooper wrote on Sun, 21 April 2024 17:35"I have used 'somewhen' since I was a young boy. It is common parlance in London where I was raised.My father used it and he was educated in a strict public school. I am surprised that my english readers should find it strange though I expect it fell off the boat half way accross the Atlantic. Regards to all and thanks for reading my first literary attempt
--
I grew up in London and I've never heard of somewhen or ever used it.
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cole parker
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Toe is in the water |
Location: California
Registered: July 2018
Messages: 38
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I expect that, like LA and NYC and other metropolises with vast cultural disparities, the language heard in one place in the city might be unintelligible in other parts.
C
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Bisexual_Guy
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Likes it here |
Location: USA Midwest
Registered: September 2015
Messages: 155
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"robert cooper wrote on Sun, 21 April 2024 15:35"I have used 'somewhen' since I was a young boy. It is common parlance in London where I was raised. My father used it and he was educated in a strict public school. I am surprised that my english readers should find it strange though I expect it fell off the boat half way accross the Atlantic. Regards to all and thanks for reading my first literary attempt
--
Fascinating! I grew up in the middle portion of the United States, and like Mr. Cooper, have heard "somewhen" used at times, and seen the word in print as well. Perhaps the word may be more common in a few circles than others. I once heard (or possibly read) that if clear communication takes place, that such clear communication is more important than a sometimes less-familiar word usage. In my growing up years, I was most familiar with the states of Missouri, Arkansas, and Illinois.
I wish Mr. Cooper much success in his writings. And thanks to Timmy and others whose work and writings have made this site an enjoyable place to read and learn.
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Geron Kees
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: February 2016
Messages: 149
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I have used 'somewhen' to mean 'someplace in time' in my own writings. But I have never used it in conversation, and can't see that I ever will!
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