A Place of Safety
I expect simple behaviours here. Friendship, and love.
Any advice should be from the perspective of the person asking, not the person giving!
We have had to make new membership moderated to combat the huge number of spammers who register
















You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > Literary Merit > What are your men doing?
What are your men doing?  [message #67023] Tue, 25 September 2012 22:28 Go to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13607



A very short tale by Nick Deverill, I wasn't sure whether it was, in some way, a poem. It's probably flash fiction Smile



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: What are your men doing?  [message #67024 is a reply to message #67023] Wed, 26 September 2012 08:11 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Kitzyma is currently offline  Kitzyma

Likes it here

Registered: March 2012
Messages: 215



It's a very touching story, and well worth reading.
Nick has packed so much into just a very few words, yet it doesn't feel at all compressed. Knowing what doesn't need to be put into a story is a great skill.

BTW - I also recommend his other very short story on here, 'Oh for the Wings of a Dove'.
Re: What are your men doing?  [message #67038 is a reply to message #67023] Sat, 29 September 2012 10:36 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Jolyon Lewes

Toe is in the water
Location: SW England
Registered: September 2012
Messages: 60



What an astonishing little story. Beautiful and sad in equal measure, it has haunted me since I read it, some 24 hours ago.



Jolyon
Re: What are your men doing?  [message #67043 is a reply to message #67038] Sat, 29 September 2012 23:58 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Pulsar132 is currently offline  Pulsar132

Getting started
Location: Kent
Registered: September 2012
Messages: 29




Very touching story. Great little read. Touching and pretty cute!



I'll update with some wise words of wisdom when i can think of something....[/center]
Re: What are your men doing?  [message #67168 is a reply to message #67023] Sun, 18 November 2012 11:25 Go to previous messageGo to next message
samsone is currently offline  samsone

Getting started
Location: UK
Registered: November 2012
Messages: 20




I'm going to have to rewatch Breakfast On Pluto to see if I can spot the phrase that inspired the story.

Really enjoyed reading it.
Re: What are your men doing?  [message #67172 is a reply to message #67168] Mon, 19 November 2012 22:41 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Nick Deverill is currently offline  Nick Deverill

Toe is in the water

Registered: November 2012
Messages: 78



The story was originally written as the outline for a longer story. However on reading it, I reckoned it worked as a very short story and after wondering for a while - duly submitted it.

The inspiration of "footprints in the custard" was that I heard it, and my mind just went into overdrive - the line was a classic and cried out to be incorporated in a story. The title came next as the two phrases seemed to me to be linked.

I did look for where in the film the line "footprints in the custard" comes but although I did find it in the subtitle file, you've got to watching for it. Have a look out from the 58th minute. Or for the terminally precise 00:58:38,836

Nick
Re: What are your men doing?  [message #67173 is a reply to message #67023] Tue, 20 November 2012 15:03 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Smokr is currently offline  Smokr

Likes it here
Location: the burning former USofA
Registered: July 2010
Messages: 399



Quote:
timmy wrote on Tue, 25 September 2012 18:28A very short tale by Nick Deverill, I wasn't sure whether it was, in some way, a poem. It's probably flash fiction Smile

--Poem, flash fiction, short story . . .
Why not just call it a cute, touching story? Wink



raysstories.com
Re: What are your men doing?  [message #67175 is a reply to message #67173] Tue, 20 November 2012 17:30 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13607



That is easy, my friend. I wanted to draw it to folks' attention without endorsing it. I already endorse things by publishing them Smile. Every story I publish has my recommendation Smile

[Updated on: Tue, 20 November 2012 19:10]




Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: What are your men doing?  [message #67189 is a reply to message #67023] Tue, 27 November 2012 13:04 Go to previous messageGo to next message
samsone is currently offline  samsone

Getting started
Location: UK
Registered: November 2012
Messages: 20




Well I love the movie so its no great hardship to pay attention while watching it but its nice to know when exactly the line appears.

Are you often inspired to write by lines you hear?
Re: What are your men doing?  [message #67191 is a reply to message #67189] Tue, 27 November 2012 21:46 Go to previous message
Nick Deverill is currently offline  Nick Deverill

Toe is in the water

Registered: November 2012
Messages: 78



Not usually. But I am partial to really off-beat lines and images. That one just stuck in my head and needed letting out.

Although in the UK we put it differently, I suspect Grasshopper had the same sort of thing with his short Kinda Like Getting Cats to Walk in a Parade.

Some thoughts just need expressing!


Previous Topic: Suggest me Some Story Please
Next Topic: Not Always Easy
Goto Forum: