|
timmy
|
 |
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13828
|
|
|
Just like Brian I go through crap days. Had one yesterday.
It was in the car, heading to a client meeting in Swindon (which is the back end of nowhere). I do my worst thinking in the car. And a wail came to me.
"Why," it went, "do I spend my life supporting other people and never get supported myself. Just for once I want someone to take care of me and tell me it's all going to be all right."
I am so sick of being the strong one at home, of carrying us through all the crap, of all the crap jobs I've done because I failed to find a career to interest me in any way at all.
I've done everything I can to make me whole. I've divested myself of John, the ghost. I've managed to take control of major parts of my life life fitness adn weight loss. I'm using a counsellor to handle chronic depression with pretty good success (yesterday was just an acute episode I suppose).
But I have no fun, no adrenaline, in my life. No excitement. Just the prospect of wondering until I die if I will ever be happy. I mean truly happy.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
