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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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Today, during our after-lunch walk at work, I finished coming out to my best friend (since we were about 16) who I started talking to yesterday.
I actually attempted to "explain" Lance. Well, those of you who know him a bit know that "explaination" is impossible, but it was interesting trying! I'm not a huge fan of his board ( http://www.voy.com/12478/ ) because I'm not very political and often have different view, but I really do admire him and those "kids" and the impact the are having on society. A medium fan, I guess. Umm, sorry for the tangent - not nearly enough sleep last night - but that was the segue.
I think I owe my friend some more explaination, since I DID try to snuggle him during sleepovers when we were younger. But, that's all I wanted to do - I think I was just lonely and wanted to hold my friend. I also need to explain more about my relationship with my wife so he doesn't worry. He also just found out this week he will be a papa after trying for 14 years!
He may have figured "it" out before I did - wouldn't surprise me at all. I hadn't really said too much today, when he says, "So, you're considering coming out?" without missing a beat. He is a true friend, and this is a huge relief - I felt like I really needed to be honest with him. He remembers stuff from our teen years I had completely forgotten, like when I convinced him to go to a costume party as a transvestite, after I explained it, and he did. Also, a comment like "What if I don't like her," I made before a double-date.
For my next "feat" - I really need to figure out when to talk to my boys, who are 10 and 12. On the one hand, my sexuality is really all in my head, not my "lifestyle" (I truly hate that word) but it is difficult enough to explain without the fact that I'm gay - not bi - yet have every intention to be the best husband (to my wife) that I can be.
So, in a way, one could say it isn't relevant. On the other hand, I think it's important that we be honest and trust each other. In the unlikely event that something happens to my wife, it will probably become relevant. I want them to also understand that "gay" is not simply a stereotype, not something to call the kids at school who are more interesting than the "normal" kids. I want them to be good friends when they discover one of their friends is not "typical."
Part of me wants to wait until they discover their own sexuality at least a bit, part of me knows it will be harder for each of us the longer I wait, yet it will be easier to actually explain feelings of attraction if they have had that experience themselves.
But, my wife would be happy if I never discussed it with them until/unless it becomes personally relevant to them. Yet, if she can't hold her tongue around the house (just silly comments, which I do like because they mean she is becoming more comfortable) - they WILL start asking questions. Also, two of her friends know, so eventually it's bound to slip out.
So, when should I tell them?
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Small yeah for me
By: trevor on Tue, 17 June 2003 05:21 |
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telling your kids
By: timmy on Tue, 17 June 2003 06:32 |
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Out of the closet and into a heap on the floor....
By: saben on Tue, 17 June 2003 08:07 |
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Re: Out of the closet and into a heap on the floor....
By: timmy on Tue, 17 June 2003 10:28 |
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Re: Out of the closet and into a heap on the floor....
By: trevor on Tue, 17 June 2003 14:33 |
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Re: Small yeah for me
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Hiya Trevor
By: smith on Tue, 17 June 2003 18:42 |
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Re: Hiya Trevor
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Re: Hiya Trevor
By: ron on Thu, 19 June 2003 09:29 |
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Hiya, Ron
By: trevor on Thu, 19 June 2003 17:47 |
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Re: Hiya, Ron
By: ron on Fri, 20 June 2003 08:32 |
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Cool story - and point taken.
By: trevor on Fri, 20 June 2003 15:11 |
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helping.....
By: smith on Fri, 20 June 2003 15:51 |
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what is WWJD? Did I miss it?
By: timmy on Fri, 20 June 2003 17:19 |
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