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Thinking back to my earlier post about messes, I find myself confronted with one. One that kinda started and stops and started again here.
The particulars aren't anyones business save those involved, and, well, to be honest, I personally can't do anything to prevent it from happening further.
I just kinda wonder sometimes about a lot of things that happen, with the best of intentions sometimes, but forgetting that actions, even seemingly benign ones, have consequences.
And consequently, there are times when all the facts aren't known, and all the truths far from fully explained. Advice is a wonderful thing, and easily given at times. It's what this MB was founded on, and what those of us that post here regularly offer each other and those that come here seeking need.
And yet we neglect, denigrate and often injure our own at the consequence of those that we think we are helping. So without asking for anything more than what this place claims to be, I put out this plea.
Someone vital to this place has been making things tougher for someone else by trying to help someone else yet instead of helping, it's making things worse all around. This person needs serious help, help that this person wont admit to needing. Help that people around this person in real life were going to try to get started, yet now this person has been alerted by well meaning advice. Well meaning, yet without the full story, and so, at a basic level, flawed.
The top of the this MB, it says that advice should be given from the perspective of those seeking help. Maybe we should also consider the consequences. Not just to the person asking for advice, but for those around them as well.
Sometimes the best advice is to leave well enough alone, as well. Some people tell you what you want to hear, what they want to hear back, and what they want to believe more than anything. Occassionally, even with the best of intentions, we should look below the surface, look into what IS more than what Appears to be. We need to consider all sides, not just what lines we get fed.
An old saying goes "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." Let's not let our good intentions continue to put one of our own down twenty miles of bad road because one that isnt' our own is missleading. Because if we do, then this ceases to be a place of safety and becomes a place of torment. Let's get back to basics and realize that advice is something that some people take to heart, and may take to extremes.
Just things to think about. And to remember. We aren't perfect. We aren't all honorable on the net. And we aren't always what we appear to be. Being social and conscientious and empathic is endemic to who we are at times, but a little caution is always advisible.
Think about it.
D'Artagnon
It's not the wolf you see you should fear, but all the ones he howls with. Don't be afraid of the song, but don't piss off the choir.
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