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This past weekend I spent the whole weekend with my dad and my sister. My dad is leaving for smith country to spend the winter there. He will probably be back for a few days at Christmas, but otherwise I wont see him till next summer.
I have been reflecting on my feelings about my family and something stuck me as a bit different. When I was younger and not out to my friends and family, I would not have spent more than a few hours with them and would have retreated to home to be alone and safe, usually depressed as well. But I found that after I was honest with my family, our relationship changed. It changed for the better. I really wanted to be with them, I wanted to spend as much time as I could with my dad, and my sister and her family. Now I don't think that I didn't love them before, but with hiding who I was I think I didn't know how to love them.
They are different too. My dad was the last one in my immediate family to find out about me. Much of my family thought he might be violent with me because of his frequent comments about 'cocksuckers' and things like that I heard my whole life. Once I did finally tell him he was really great about it. I was and still am a memeber of PFLAG "Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays" and most of the members of the local office knew I was distressed about telling dad. A few weeks after I told him I brought him to a PFLAG meeting. One of the things they do at each meeting is one by one every person stands up and tells their name and something relevant about themselves. We were in the front row. The first man next to me stood up and said "My name is Steve, and I have a lesbian daughter". The I said "My name is Kevin and I am gay". after that my dad stood up and said "I'm Kevins dad, and I am very proud of him". The entire audience rose to their feet in a standing ovation. I couldn't hold it in, I silently broke down in tears and hugged my dad. It was one of the best days in my life.
We start out so afraid, afraid of losing the love we need from the ones we love. Taking that risk, can be the best thing some of us will ever do.
Not every story is perfect, and we need to be ready and have a support system of friends when we decide to come out. But if your just considering it, know that it can lead to more love and acceptance than you could dream of having before.
Oh and by the way, dad doesn't use those words anymore.
Do any of you have a positive experience with your friends or family?
I would love to hear some.
Live, Love and be yourself,
Kevin ::-)
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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A reflection ...
By: kevin on Tue, 28 October 2003 17:10 |
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So many good experiences
By: timmy on Tue, 28 October 2003 19:19 |
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On not being able to eat dinner
By: nick on Thu, 30 October 2003 21:21 |
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Re: On not being able to eat dinner
By: timmy on Thu, 30 October 2003 21:30 |
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OK, so you don't like fish
By: nick on Thu, 30 October 2003 21:54 |
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You know, at the time......
By: timmy on Thu, 30 October 2003 23:19 |
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You should have eaten out more often.
By: Guest on Thu, 30 October 2003 23:42 |
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Dinner. EWWWWWWwwwww
By: Guest on Thu, 30 October 2003 21:33 |
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Hehe ..... geez
By: kevin on Fri, 31 October 2003 01:00 |
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Re: A reflection ...
By: tony on Thu, 30 October 2003 16:07 |
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Re: A reflection ...
By: kevin on Thu, 30 October 2003 16:15 |
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I never told my father
By: timmy on Thu, 30 October 2003 16:26 |
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