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Today i was bore and i went to the library and decided to rent a movie, just for the heck of it. Going through the stacks of movie i saw the title "Beautiful Thing". I was surprise as i had heard about the movie and knew it was about two gay guys. Out of curiosity, i checked out and watch it home. It turned out to be better than what i expect it. It is such a sweet story about how two best friends fall in love and together learn what it means to be gay, however most importantly, what it means to love. Now they both come from families that abuse them one way or another and they have to learn to accept what they are and hope their families will understand too.
It was great to see how their love flourish , how they could play in the woods, just spend time together. I love the ending. It made me cry because it was so sweet. After everything that happened, not far away they hear music and right there , in the middle of the street , infront of everyone, they started dancing. You could feel the love between the two, they did not even care people were watching them because the only thing that matter was that they were together. More touching was when the mom of one of the guys came out and she too started dancing showing her acceptance. With that the movie finishes and i was in a sea of tears. Doesn't everybody which to find a love like that?
I had to share this. Hey now i need to go the library more often , apparently they have good movies ;-D .
Enough of that, today i was thinking ( yes i think , hard to believe ). Well i was wondering whether my life would be easier if i was straight and did not have feelings for other males. Sometimes i just lay in my bed thinking , trying to figure out why i am the way i am. Being gay hurts because many times one has to keep it a secret in order to protect our own life. To find true love is even harder because many times the other guy just want the sex and not a solid relationship. I even dare to say i have wish not to be gay because of all the things one has to go through, lonelyness, stares, descrimination, isolation, and many others i don't think i need to mention. What i look for in a guy?? Really i don't ask a lot. I want is a friend, a partner, somebody who would there with me all the time. Beauty, sex, etc are all secondary things to me. I just wish not to feel so empty deep inside. Is it to much to ask?
Sorry i had to say what is in my mind, watching the movie made me think about things in my life. I don't know, today was a day were i just feel nothing is right, nothing fits in, it sucks sometimes. As of tomorrow , it is another day, only think left thing to is go to school and hopefully live a better a life.
You don't love someone because they are beautiful, they are beautiful because you love them.
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