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she was supposed to run me through all these $)%(*$)# terms last night, but instead she opted to go out on a date with a guy she doesn't even LIKE dating.
she doesn't get home until like, five minutes ago. she took medical terminology way back when and is the only one who can help me make sense of two units thrown at us at the same time (let alone the final), that are very identical but mean bi-polar opposite things.
so i ask her for help, again. i haven't BEEN TO BED YET since yesterday. she says, "later." and GOES TO SLEEP. goes to sleep. must be real $)*$)%* $# nice to GO TO SLEEP. stupid bitch.
so i am supposed to take shiloh to this play this evening with my friend chelsea, but i just got off the phone with chelsea, sobbing my eyes out, and she's just going to take shi to the play and let me sleep. except i won't be sleeping, oh no. i'll be trudging through all this crap i need done by wednesday. i haven't even GOTTEN to study the notes i handwrote off our study guide for anatomy final, haven't picked what i'm going to do and how for my presentation on monday night.
i forget why i'm doing this, when all i see now are mottled colors and texts not making sense, when i have to injest caffeine up my nose because my stomach can't handle it anymore, just to stay awake another hour for three more pages. out of 160 total that needs to be done for 2 units. i forget why i didn't just stay working as a gas station attendant. at least i got tips to counter the bad days, and at least i was doing something other than freaking out and ruining my body and screaming and crying because i'm just so tired and i can't sleep.
sorry.
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
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