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And, now what?
I'm as lost as before. Did he like me? Did he think I was a total bore? Would he ever consider going out with me again, more 'properly'? All we did was walk around and talk for about an hour and fifteen minutes in the cool evening.
I don't know. I can't tell anything about what he might be feeling on the inside.
All I know is he's nice, rather cute, not completely slim - which is good coz that might be neat too and I would feel he'd be too perfect and totally out of my league if he was really lean), has rather long black hair and reeeally hot eyes. His mouth is attractive too with fairly plump lips - also cute.
We talked a lot, and he is interesting; obviously a movie buff which is neat. In fact, much of our conversations circled around movies, and I did my best to be natural and such so he'd like me in return.
Why then do I always have to feel as if I screwed up? As if I'm no good, that nobody would ever want me? It was an emotional struggle for me just to get THIS far, do I now have to struggle even more to try to get a second date with him? I must have been an idiot for hoping this would be it, now I'd reached my goal, everything would miraculously fix itself somehow and I could finally have a boyfriend.
But, I think the universe really, truly hates me. I'm not supposed to be happy. Why do I even keep on trying? After all, isn't it better to live alone? That way nobody can let me down, nobody can dump me or cheat on me. No quarrels, no falling-outs. I know what I've got, but I won't ever know what I might get; this is safer, more dependable.
Alone.
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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So, I finally got together with the asian guy...
By: lenny on Tue, 11 May 2004 20:12 |
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Re: So, I finally got together with the asian guy...
By: timmy on Tue, 11 May 2004 21:04 |
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Lenny, Lenny, Lenny
By: saben on Wed, 12 May 2004 02:10 |
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sorry i'm only just now reading this...
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Re: So hey Lenny I will be your boyfriend
By: sparks on Sat, 15 May 2004 06:22 |
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And date #2? what of that????
By: timmy on Mon, 17 May 2004 15:14 |
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It's like...pending. Maybe. I dunno.
By: lenny on Mon, 17 May 2004 16:39 |
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