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like i must have one stamped on me that says "come to me when YOU need but never be there when *i* need." really i think that it wouldn't matter if i nodded and agreed with everything said, or actually tried to offer things. as long as the other person gets to talk and go on about their problems but not .. ever .. listen .. to .. someone .. else's .. it's all good.
(this is another secret why my posts get SO long and babbly and all over the place annoying reads. 'cause it's not like i can get it out elsewhere.)
i don't TRY to "hijack" the conversations but if i have a personal example (one came up tonight that ohhhh, i try REAL hard not to touch on anywhere, but it fit perfect with this situation but was unfortunately very personal and very painful) i will give it, for the purpose of 'this is what i did and it worked,' or, in this case, 'in this case i WISH it would've been done, so i see these options as not a bad thing, because if nothing is to be hidden, all will turn out fine.' and i don't want the convo to sway that way, no ... because helping other people actually helps me because it keeps my mind off my stuff. but to have it TOTALLY blazed over is just ... amazing to me. really. and this isn't the first time, no ... usually when things are "okay" then you know, whatever. but when it's not i'm suddenly the greatest person to talk to? and while this post is brought on by one conversation this is not the first time with that person, and this person is not the only person.
(this is also another secret reason as to why i'm on messenger programs less and less lately.)
oh well.
i do hope the best for the situation at hand. and i think i just try too hard, or i'm worried about too much crap elsewhere and it's bleeding over into internet land. either way, just ... if i have these signs on my back i think it's time i take them off. no one likes fairweather friends, no ... but it sucks even more to be MADE into a badweather friend, because when things are fine then you NEVER hear from someone.
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
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