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Interesting thoughts?  [message #21759] Sun, 25 July 2004 14:39 Go to previous message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13828



Recent threads have created some thoughts, but these have been around a person. I want to divorce this thread from any perosns here. If you can't do that please don't post in this thread, ok? We should be able to do this peacefully, and without hectoring anyone.

Let me set the scene. I want to discuss what may help an abused perosn. I want to assume that they were of legal age when abused, and that the abuse itself was the only thing "wrong" to happen. By this I mean this is not an age thing, not a legality thing about age of consent. Just the isolated fact of abuse. I am not even saying the abuse was sexual.

The questions that hit me include
  1. Can the abuse be purged or ameliorated by the same act being performed with the consent of the abused perosn and done by someone who loves them, gently, and with love? [editted for clarity: I mean, for example the act that was performed being repeated but in a wholly non abusve manner. To be precise full permissions sought and gained and total care and love being given all the way.]
  2. Therapy is often advised. It it always helpful, or is it a panacea when "ordinary people" want to absolve themselves of responsibility?
  3. Must a therapist always be a qualified therapist, or can a decent friend be as much or more use?
  4. Is "bringing the abuser to justice" a helpful thing? if so, why? if not, why not?
There will be many other items here. What I don't want to happen unless anabused perosn is comfortable with revealing the abuse is that those who answer classify themselves into the "abused" and the "non abused". I would just like us to think, and to do this in isolation from any known examples.

[Updated on: Sun, 25 July 2004 15:32]



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
 
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