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If I am attractive to other men, does that make me gay? [message #21780]

Mon, 26 July 2004 11:59

timmy

Has no life at all

Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13828

It was e's advice to The Black prince that brought thi sback to the forefront of my mind.

There are two parts to this. Logic helps.

Part One:

When I was a kid I was attracted to a huge number of my schoolmates. I totted it up. Of the 500 or so kids in that school I wanted at least 50 sexually. I found them attractive. Now even if the Kinsey 10% rule is true the probability of the intersection of the set of gay boys with the set of boys I fancied being a 100% intersection is remote.

Logic thus says that "being attractive to other boys" is not a deciding factor in whether you are gay.

Well, we knew that!

Part Two:

"I was raped. And I actually found to my horror that my body responded in some positive way (possibly an erection?) to the rape. He must have know I was gay before I knew myself."

That needs a moment to sink in. However it is a surprisingly common reaction. We are designed to respond to sexual stimuli. We are designed to get erect and even to reach orgasm without huge provocation. It si the friction that does it, not the emotions. And actually fear is a profound sexual stimulant.

So, are you gay?

On balance or probabaility, no. Again, assmuming the Kinsey 10% rule, is it likely that you are both gay and were picked out to be raped because of that? probability theory says no. And, in fact the two items are 100% unconnected (I am not considering gay-bashing rapes here of "out" gay people, ok?)

So where does that leave us?

Pretty obviously we will need to think this through, and some of those here who have been abused may have what I can only describe as "odd feelings" about it.

I can summarise my small thesis as follows:

You are not gay because other men find you attractive
You are not gay because you were raped
Even if your body (or even your emotions) responded positively to the rape, that does not make you gay

The floor is now yours

Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School

		If I am attractive to other men, does that make me gay? By: timmy on Mon, 26 July 2004 11:59
		Re: If I am attractive to other men, does that make me gay? By: marc on Mon, 26 July 2004 13:26
		Re: If I am attractive to other men, does that make me gay? By: marc on Mon, 26 July 2004 13:34
		Re: If I am attractive to other men, does that make me gay? By: dormouse3@hotmail.com on Wed, 28 July 2004 02:36
		Re: If I am attractive to other men, does that make me gay? By: timmy on Wed, 28 July 2004 15:03
		Re: If I am attractive to other men, does that make me gay? By: joesdog on Wed, 28 July 2004 20:15
		Re: If I am attractive to other men, does that make me gay? By: joesdog on Wed, 28 July 2004 20:24

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