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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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A slightly modified extract of the journal entry I just wrote.
Today I finally taught my last day here in Japan, at Jonathan's [English] School, my first job. The actual work was uneventful, but the emotions were strong as I said what is probably final goodbyes to teachers and students alike. The morning was pretty much a normal program, after which me and 7 boys went on an excursion to the other branch where we then ate lunch. After lunch we returned and I said goodbye to a couple of kids then went into the computer rooms with some of the others. Daiya, one of my favourites was there, he left at 2 O'Clock, not too phased about me leaving, but wanting to see me again, I gave his Mum my home addy and my email.
Takuma, though, oh god, Takuma, 9-year-old boy that absolutely and utterly adores me, for those that don't know. Like whenever he would see me at work he'd wrap himself around my leg being so happy to see me. He was pretty distraught over me leaving, it was so sweet. He even brought a present along, an envelope which contained some pokemon stickers and some "Mushi King" cards, not exactly items on my Christmas list, but still very thoughtful for a kid whose mentality is probably like "If I asked for a present, what would I want more than anything else in the world?" He also enclosed a letter which said something like (typos intentional) "Shim, Australia ni iltute (something I forget). Australia kara zeltutai kaeltute kite ne" It was so gorgeously simple and heartfelt, like it was his idea and not his Mum's, I think (?) it basically translates to "Shem, you're going to Australia. You've definitely gotta come back, okay?" What was even more gorgeous was that he translated it into romaji (English letters for Japanese writing) probably so it'd be easier for me to read, except to translate it looks like he used a chart that is for TYPING, (to get a double letter in Japanese you use the small tsu which is typed as "ltu" on the computer). For the whole second half of the day, though he was fairly quiet and even cried a little on and off, didn't actually shed a tear, I tried to keep him too happy for that, but his eyes got kinda watery and he was pretty damn upset. I just had him sit on my lap in the computer room and he occasionally played games, or just like held himself against me. I gave him a quick peck on the cheek at one stage, which he seemed a little put off by, though. He seemed to brighten a little later in the day after he asked the Japanese teacher if I'd come back to Japan and she answered "he'll come back in 4 years", funny thing is that 4 years is such a long time, he'll be 13 then, it is almost half his life so far; I will remember him after all that time, he will probably always be special to me, but in 4 years he'll have changed a whole lot, I wonder if he will still remember that whacky Australian teacher, Shem and even if he does whether the love, which is what it is, I guess, just pure simple adoration and love on his part and well, when someone loves you that much it is hard not to feel strongly for them, too, but I wonder if the love we share now will have diminished on his part totally, or if a glimmer of it will remain.... I guess I'll see when I next come to Japan, after Uni, whenever it happens to be.
It was really a nice goodbye day for him and the other kids I teach, but I guess all things must come to an end and work finished at 5 pm, with all the kids going home. I gave most of them big hugs, though the large majority were uncomfortable with that since their Mums were there, even Takuma who had been hugging me all day. I think said a big thankyou to my two bosses and gave them both hugs and from that point pretty much broke down and I have been watery-eyed or crying on and off ever since (the last 7 hours). Just leaving my first job behind, teaching my last day of English with kids that have been part of my life, and other people that have been part of my life for the last 18 months now. When I was sad and lonely being away from home, it was the kids at Jonathan's School that made me feel better, especially over Christmas. While I didn't particular like the actual job, the emotions and memories involved are just so strong now. I got my final pay slip, too which gives me quite a nice sum for when I am in Thailand and Malaysia. I am looking forward to that and I am happy, but today is just a day of high emotions, rememberence and sadness that I am leaving all that, while still being optimistic about the new opportunities back in Australia. I guess I am only so sad now because my time in Japan was such a good experience, overall. Lots of ups and downs, especially downs. But I leave with a sense of fulfillment, I didn't actually achieve a whole lot, but I did grow a whole lot and I will be back because there are more things to do here, just not now, now it is time for me to leave. So while I go with a heavy heart and crying probably more than I have in years, I am also very happy, happy for the memories, happy for the future and happy that for once I am able to express and release my emotions properly and let it all out.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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