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I've started writing a huge long account of my life -- something that happened at 16 and has really affected me since. It'll probably end up being about 3000 words. It's nothing sexual, and it's not really related to the subject-matter of this site, but if this board is a place of safety then hopefully I can post about it here.
I suppose that, with the possible exception of Timmy, the people who know about it have only quite a narrow view. My parents only know how it affected me at the time; they don't know how it continues to affect me as I never really talk about it. Only occasionally do I speak to a psychiatrist I see about once every six months. Most of my peers at school know that it happened, but they don't have any of the details and have never really asked about it. Now that I think about it, I wonder how I seem to them. Did my housemaster talk to the rest of my house about it, as he did when other people had problems? Were people guarded in approaching me? I suppose I will never really know, as of course everyone will deny it.
I suppose that all sounds really cryptic, and I'm sorry for that. But I don't think I ought to be too specific until I have got everything worked out, so I can describe clearly what happened to me and perhaps justify why it happened. I'm not even sure why I'm typing this post, as it won't mean anything to anyone except Timmy (and possibly Andy). It'll all become clear when I finish my essay. Though I expect it will be so long that no-one will actually want to read it...
David
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