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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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This is my first visit to the site, VERY INTERESTING. I will certainly continue to check out all the different parts of it.
I have a question, though. I read thru the stuff about you contacting John; the calls, the return message, the letters.
It seemed to me that what you did was pursue him, in order to give yourself a degree of satisfaction, no matter what it gave him (discomfort, fear, unhappy memories, risked or actual problems/suspicions or whatever at his workplace) due to the notable persistence. I could say more, but you know what I mean.
If I was pursued like that, I would have believed either:
1. If I was gay, I would have believed that you were unstable and likely to out me. I would be trapped, unable to avoid you without risking an outing I didn't want. Yet, meeting or even talking to you would seem likely to feed your unreasonably persistent pursuit of me.
2. If I was straight, I would have believed that you were unstable and likely to falsely "out" me, as you seemed to be threatening to do. John's work associates would not have to be rocket scientists to see something very "odd" about the messages in their number, frequency and wording, coming from another man.
UNDERSTAND: I am not demeaming anyone! I am merely saying that if you had pursued me that way, I would have avoided you like the plague, and I would have hated you and all other similarly self-centered people who must always satisfy their own feelings at the expense of others.
Unrequited love is not unusual in life. I am thankful that every man who ever loved my sister, my cousins or my mother did not force himself on their attention as you did to poor John. I think you knew all you needed to know after the first couple of calls, there was no need for what followed, except in your personal, selfish need.
I apologize for the tone of my words; I do not wish to offend you. But as I wrote, I realized more clearly how someone with behavior like yours would have damaged me, and my life. My right to privacy outweighs your need for "closure" or whatever, doesn't it?
Mark
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