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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13828
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Whose on First 2006?
Abbot: Computer Support Group. Can I help you?
Costello: Thanks! I'm setting up a home office in my den and I'm
thinking about buying a computer.
Abbot: Mac?
Costello: No, the name is Bud.
Abbot: Your computer?
Costello: I don't own a computer I want to buy one.
Abbot: Mac?
Costello: I told you, my name is Bud.
Abbot: Okay, we'll forget about Mac. What about Windows?
Costello: I told you, my name is Bud. Why do I need windows? Does it
get stuffy?
Abbot: Do you want a computer with Windows?
Costello: I didn't know computers had Windows.
Abbot: Yes.
Costello: Yes what?
Abbot: Yes, most come with Windows.
Costello: Which don't come with Windows?
Abbot: Mac.
Costello: I TOLD YOU my name is Bud!
Abbot: So you want Windows?
Costello: I don't know. What do I see with Windows?
Abbot: Wallpaper.
Costello: Never mind the Windows, I need a computer and software.
Abbot: Exactly, software that runs on Windows!
Costello: No! I need software that runs on the computer. I need
something that I can use to write proposals and track expenses. You
know, run a business. What have you got?
Abbot: Office.
Costello: Yeah, for my office like I said. Can you recommend anything?
Abbot: I just did.
Costello: You just did what?
Abbot: Recommended something.
Costello: You recommended something?
Abbot: Yes.
Costello: For my office?
Abbot: Yes.
Costello: Okay, what did you recommend for my office?
Abbot: Office!
Costello: Yes, for my office.
Abbot: Office for Windows.
Costello: I ALREADY HAVE AN OFFICE AND IT HAS WINDOWS!
Abbot: Okay.
Costello: Let's say I'm sitting at my computer, and I want to type a
proposal. What do I need?
Abbot: Word.
Costello: If I'm writing a proposal I'm going to use lots of words.
But what program do I load?
Abbot: Word.
Costello: What word?
Abbot: The Word in Office.
Costello: THE ONLY WORD IN OFFICE IS OFFICE!
Abbot: The Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: HERE COME THOSE WINDOWS AGAIN! Which word in office for windows?"
Abbot: The Word you get when you click the blue W.
Costello: I'M GONNA CLICK YOUR BLUE W IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME A STRAIGHT
ANSWER! Now, let's forget about words for a minute. What do I need
if I want to watch a movie over the Internet?
Abbot: Real Player
Costello: Yes, it needs to be a real one. What do I need?
Abbot: Real Player.
Costello: Yes, of course it needs to play reels if I wanna watch a
movie. Now, what do I need?
Abbot: Real Player.
Costello: I KNOW IT NEEDS TO PLAY REELS! WHAT DO I USE?
Abbot: I already told you.
Costello: THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE! HOW CAN I WATCH A MOVIE IF I
DON'T KNOW WHAT TO USE?
Abbot: I told you.
Costello: Told me what?
Abbot: You use Real Player.
Costello: Okay, Okay! So, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to
watch a movie. What do I do?
Abbot: You click the Real icon.
Costello: The real icon? The other icons aren't real?
Abbot: No! Only one icon is Real.
Costello: So the real icon is the only one that's real?
Abbot: Yes! That's right! The Real icon is the blue Real box and the
blue W is Word.
Costello: What word?
Abbot: The Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: THERE'S THREE WORDS IN OFFICE FOR WINDOWS!
Abbot: No, just one.
Costello: And that word is the Real icon?
Abbot: No. The Real icon has nothing to do with Word. It isn't even
part of Office.
Costello: NEVER MIND I WON'T WATCH ANY MOVIES! Look, I'm also going
to need something for bank accounts, loans, and so on. What do you
have to help me track my money?
Abbot: Money.
Costello: I need money to track my money?
Abbot: No, not really. But, it comes bundled with the computer.
Costello: What comes bundled with the computer?
Abbot: Money.
Costello: Money comes bundled with my computer?
Abbot: Exactly. No extra charge.
Costello: I get money with my computer at not extra charge? How much
money do I get?
Abbot: Just one copy.
Costello: Copy money? Isn't that illegal?
Abbot: No, we have a license from Microsoft to make copies of Money.
Costello: WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE! You're telling me that I
get money with my computer and I can copy it?
Abbot: Only one time. By the way, you also get virus protection.
Costello: VIRUS PROTECTION! I CAN CATCH A VIRUS?
Abbot: Yes! It comes for a year at no charge with Windows.
"Costello: HERE COME THOSE WINDOWS AGAIN! Look! Let me see if I've
got this right. If I want a computer I have to have Windows even
though I already have some in my office. Then I have to have Office
even though I got one and I have to click on a blue W for words and
only the Real icon to watch a movie. I'M SO CONFUSED I DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
Abbot: Oh, if your gonna do talking you'll need a modem.
Costello: ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Whose on First 2006?
By: timmy on Fri, 31 March 2006 12:18 |
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Re: Whose on First 2006?
By: Deeej on Fri, 31 March 2006 15:24 |
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Re: Whose on First 2006?
By: marc on Fri, 31 March 2006 16:01 |
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Re: Whose on First 2006?
By: timmy on Fri, 31 March 2006 16:39 |
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Re: Whose on First 2006?
By: pimple on Fri, 31 March 2006 17:49 |
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Re: Whose on First 2006?
By: marc on Fri, 31 March 2006 19:03 |
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Re: Whose on First 2006?
By: timmy on Fri, 31 March 2006 22:02 |
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Re: Whose on First 2006?
By: pimple on Sat, 01 April 2006 04:18 |
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Re: Whose on First 2006?
By: pimple on Sat, 01 April 2006 04:15 |
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Re: Whose on First 2006?
By: Deeej on Fri, 31 March 2006 19:09 |
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Re: Whose on First 2006?
By: marc on Fri, 31 March 2006 19:18 |
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Libraries
By: Deeej on Fri, 31 March 2006 19:50 |
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Re: Libraries
By: marc on Fri, 31 March 2006 21:55 |
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Re: Libraries
By: Deeej on Fri, 31 March 2006 22:20 |
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Re: Libraries
By: marc on Fri, 31 March 2006 22:57 |
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Re: Whose on First 2006?
By: pimple on Sat, 01 April 2006 04:26 |
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Re: Whose on First 2006?
By: Jedediah on Sat, 01 April 2006 06:43 |
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