cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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This thread is a spin-off from Matt(Broadway Boy)'s plea for guidance. I think that the original thread is over-long and is wandering too far from the original topic.
Specifically, this is a response to a very recent post by Handyman, in which he suggests that gays like young boys more than str8s like young girls.
Handyman, I think you are taking a much too superficial view.
A relatively small proportion of teenage boys are certain that they are gay. That reflects two factors. Firstly, there is the peer and social pressure encouraging them to be str8 at all costs. Secondly, there is the age-old tendency to experiment with peers as a normal part of growing up. The first group embraces quite a number who ARE in fact gay but are pressured into denial. The second group allows even the most determined str8 to dabble without attracting criticism; again, some of this group will prove to be gay, but most of them will persist with denial.
In later life, a very significant number of those originally in denial will come to accept that their true orientation was towards the same sex. Those who 'played around' in their youth will have a strong nostalgia factor attracting them to males of the age at which they had their own gay liaisons. Of these, the vast majority will not seek to have any sort of relationship with young males. If no adults were involved in their own childhood activities, most gays have no urge to force themselves on other young males. Some may seek friendship with other adult gays; others will merely come to terms with themselves, will accept that they probably made the wrong choice, but will find release in reading or writing about what might have been rather than in attempting to recreate the past.
The proportion of gays who are true paedophiles is actually (Thank God!) very small. If you need evidence of this, study pornography - you can do this on the net, or by reading research reports. You will find that the number of 'boy' sites in relation to 'girl' sites is broadly in proportion to the actual number of adult gays (including those who are not practising gays) as compared with the numbers of str8s. But looking deeper will make it abundantly clear that the vast majority of 'boy' sites are 'soft-porn', and that even among those which are 'hard-porn' a sizeable majority are still boy-boy rather than man-boy. By contrast, a substantial proportion of 'girl' sites involve adults, and there is a depressingly large number of so-called 'rape sites'.
Thus, I would argue, there is ample circumstantial evidence to indicate that the attraction of gay men to boys is significantly attributable to nostalgic factors rather than to any desire to commit actual assault upon the objects of their affection. On the other hand, the evidence suggests that a dangerously large proportion of str8s really do entertain a desire to sexually assault children.
Of course, whether you find older women more attractive than older men will be heavily influenced by the path you have chosen to follow through life. If you are gay, and have chosen to 'walk the walk' - to quote one of Marc's favourite phrases - nostalgia will not play a significant part. You may well remember youthful assignations with affection, but you will be at home among other gays in your own age group.
I suppose I ought to admit how I stand. I was almost exclusively (and very actively!) gay from 12 or 13 to 26 or 27. After the break-up of a 6-year relationship I drifted away from the gay scene - probably subconsciously driven by social pressure - and I eventually married and had a family, all of whom I love unreservedly. But as my kids reached adulthood I had an irresistible urge to tell my wife about my true orientation. I won't pretend it was easy, but we resolved the matter between us, and our marriage survived. When I married, I gave a commitment, and I intend to keep that commitment; my wife has never been unfaithful to me, and I have no reason to be unfaithful to her. But I admit that my primary attraction is to those in the 12-27 age group - emphatically as a voyeur rather than a participant - though I do very much enjoy social interaction with gay guys of my own age.
In short, I feel that the whole issue is screwed and skewed by social pressure, and that glib assumptions are therefore especially dangerous.
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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