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pete1990
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Getting started |
Registered: July 2006
Messages: 7
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I went to see him. And we talked. It was a bit, well, brittle. I did a load of apologizing. Said I was pretty confused, and that I wasn't. Or probably wasn't. I feel bad about lying to him, but he obviously doesn't feel... Well he feels friendship.
Anyway, he hadn't spoken to the preacher yet. I told him what it would mean if he did. Not that I'd deny it. I would have, though. I told him if I ever was then I'd handle it myself with the preacher. Asked him not to speak.
I waited all yesterday not breathing. Church was hateful. I felt eyes all over me. They weren't. Couldn't spleep much last night. Up early for no reason this morning. I've pretty much done my day's chores already.
I'm going into camoflage. There's a girl at school who seems to like me. If my parents let me I'll date her for a bit. If she'll let me. But dating isn't easy if everything fun is ungodly. And she's a different church, so she may want to go where I'm not allowed if I'm allowed to date her at all. Seems being normal isn't easy either.
Anyway I don't think he'll tell anyone. I can't dare come here much. I'm sorry I can over as a bit tough. I kind of had to be, just to get able to post something.
I believe in God. I do. But I don't think he's cruel like "my" church says. Not unless he makes us gay and then hates us for sport at least. Only, leaving the church... That's a huge step. What if they're right?
I think we're friends still. That hurts too. knowing we can be friends, not... I'm not even sure what I wanted to do. I'd only told him I truly liked him and felt real comfy with him, and I guess I looked into his eyes too long or something.
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