|
|
Here's the thing thats bugging me.
Well, its not just one thing. I suppose its many.
It's like I think of something, and I can see it in my head. Bad things mind you, sometimes perverted things. Things I find disgusting. Things I shouldnt think about, but end up thinking about anyway...
FOR INSTANCE!
*drumroll please.... lol.*
It's like you see this totally hawt guy down the street from you, as your say, walking to the mall one day. And its natural that you'd think that. I mean, no one controls what you think except you. But then, as you think of him more, you start to imagine him.
And when it gets to that part, thats when I start freaking out. And I get angry over it. It bugs me, and irritates me. And it makes me angry, and I want it to get out of my head, but its like its laughing at me, and wont leave.
If I'm making any sense at all here, feel free to do whatever...
AND THEN!
Theres this thing I do almost every single day, where I get horny... I HATE the word horny. Dont ask me why, but I do, and it gets me really angry when someone says it. Anyway. I get horny and I go on the comp, internet, and go to websites I know and jack off to gay vids...
It's irritating.. and it makes me angry. I dont WANT to, but I do at the same time. It's like, somehow refreshing I suppse... Tho its sickening. And thinking about it makes me mad.
And then theres also a kiddy-porn thing... well not really kiddy-porn, but like shotakon.
DO NOT! ask me to explain it. you can find out what it means on dictionary.com.
And there are a bunch of words that irritate me.
SUCH AS!
Sex
Dick
Cock
Fuck (i say the word, but im talking about sex here.)
Anything related to sex really makes me sick. I've decided never to get into a relationship. It's what I want. And the thought of having sex with someone grosses me out.
The very thought of seeing anyone naked sickens me and I hate it. But its like whenever I watch fay vids, I know they're naked and it sickens me, but i imagine myself doing it with someone, and like its sort of a rush kinda thing.... a very sick rush that i get...
anyway... yah.
I just wanted to say that, and yah...
*hugs everyone.*
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
