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Critiques Please......  [message #41716] Mon, 09 April 2007 06:17 Go to previous message
obsidianeyes is currently offline  obsidianeyes

Getting started

Registered: April 2007
Messages: 14




A friend of mine asked me to help him spread his work around. I was wondering if anybody would like to commeent on it. He's a good poet but he's thinking of giving up writing coz he says he's stuck on ideas. Jes thought that any positive feedback would help change his mind.

Unrequited

Why can't you see me?
You cannot fathom how it frustrates me,
To be just a friend to you.

I give you my shoulder to cry on,
I would do anything for you,
But still I am invisible.

You asked me once
why others aren't like me.
Can you hear yourself talk?

My heart aches when I see you throw yourself unto others.
And all the while I stand here,
Unable to tell you how I am feeling.

Because I am a friend,
That's all I am to you.
And that's all I will ever be.



*Scribbles on the screen* There You go....
 
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