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Hay all hope that you are all keeping well, I know that it has been a while but things have been crazy. But I would not have it any other way... ;-D
Now here's what is up: I had a dream last night, and it is not the first time I have had a dream like this. It was a dream about a friend from high school that I had a crush on. When I woke from the dream I felt more alone and afraid than ever before. The fear of been alone washed over me like a thunderstorm over the Serengeti. The dream was great and if I had my way I would have chosen to never wake from it.
It was not sexual, like the others I have had about the same person but nurturing, caring, protective. All we did was hold each other in PUBLIC. Now this I though was a big thing because I have never been much of a person for public affection, but I did not care and I was ready to defend who I was and who I was with.
Now I have had dreams like this before, where I wake up feeling like someone or something is trying to tell me something. The last time this happened, it was dreams ( 2 Dreams ) about pregnancy, and not long after we found out that one of my friend was pregnant and she had no clue.
I have no idea why I am telling you all this, and feel no justification that I just need to be told that it is ok and it will all be fine. Why you may ask, because I am ALONE and lonely. I have my friends, my family, and all of you but some how I just feel more empty than I have in a long time.
:'-(
Relationships are important to me, the ones we are in the ones that we have had and the ones to come. I have people in my life that I never want to say goodbye to (and yes you guessed it there is a but) but they just do not feel like enough any more. I need, NO, I want more. Someone to be with, to hold to say "I love you" to be able to just lie on the sofa and not have to say anything to just now that we 'are' .
I know that this does not happen over night, and that it takes time, but here it is, I FEAR that it will never happen to me.
The sweet is not as sweet without the bitter, but how much bitter do you need to have before the honey of life finds its way to you?
All I wana do is get into my bed and cry until I can not cry anymore.
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Attachment: Sunset.jpg
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"And so the lion fell in love with the Lamb"
"What a stupid Lamb"
"What a sick, masochistic lion"
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