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Hey all how goes sit?
I know I have not been in for a while now but things have been really crazy at home, at work, and almost at every turn I have been blocked and tested for something. So all in all it has been a crazy few months for me.
Now I need some help from you all, I am finding my life to be very monotonous of late. Some of you may be thinking how I can say this considering what I have told you about things been so crazy. But it just seems like everything I do or want to do is... well a mission.
I do not want things easy, but this constant testing of my break point is driving me to drink. My home life is falling apart around me, my mom is no longer happy in her relationship, and I can see it and it is one of oh so many things that is making me wish I could just close my eyes and when I open them again I am 5 years old and it has all gone back to normal.
But again what is normal???
I am having some really arb dreams and feelings and the feeling of not been in control is the worst of all. I know that there really are very few things that you are actually in control of but I truly feel like it has all come apart at a rate of knots.
I need something to get me interested again, not just in life but in everything. I have found the thought of relationships to be... well tedious at best, and the threat of actually having to talk to anyone petrifies me. I find the whole thing to be very labour intensive.
Oh I don't know anymore, I'm sure that I was meant to be dropped off on the planet Mars and my convoy left me here as a sick joke. Not that I don't enjoy Earth, it just feels like everyone has become so fickle and shallow.
I though of going away for a while, maybe to just spend some time alone on the beach but I just can not find the time nor the patience to do so.
So now this is my question to you all, I need to try something new, something different, something that will hold my attention for more than 10 min. So any suggestions would be great.
Thanks guys.
"And so the lion fell in love with the Lamb"
"What a stupid Lamb"
"What a sick, masochistic lion"
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