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An old friend died on Thursday [message #48847]

Sun, 03 February 2008 11:34

timmy

Has no life at all

Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13818

This is an old friend of the forum and of the site. He has not been here for several years, has probably never seen the site since it was redesigned several years ago. He met, I think through here, the love of his life, and they have been together until his death.

Since it's so long since he's been here I've forgotten the name he used to log in with, and none of the names in the list look familiar to me as his. He and I have not spoken for most of those years, and yet I am his friend, and was always here for him had he wished to speak again.

His name was chosen from my own story. He identified with it and adopted the name in life. I never knew what his name was before he introduced himself to me. He said once that it was the love that the story made him feel that allowed him to adopt it.

As a child he had been badly abused. The abuse was ritualised, horrible, continual and unforgivable. He lived his life in fear of abuse and of religion of all forms. He spoke to me of it, and he taught me much. I learnt about the medical condition he suffered from and met several of his friends who also suffered from the same condition. It was a challenge to understand it, since they all suffered from Dissociative Personality Disorder - the same body being inhabited by multiple intellectual occupants.

His name, the name that I knew HIM by, was Nigel. Not today's Nigel, they are different people entirely, and I think they would have liked each other.

Nigel was a young teenage boy living in a substantially older frame, supported by several other people living there, loved, protected and cared for by them, and later by the love of his life.

I've missed him since he became unable to talk to me and have thought of him often. I was happy he found the love of his life, and left Canada and moved to the UK to be together. They lived some ten miles from me but I never sought them out. It would have distressed Nigel.

I have no idea how many of the others who lived alongside him in the frame were with him throughout the later years. I know he had those he needed in order to stay balanced.

It was a pleasure and a privilege to know him.

[Updated on: Sun, 03 February 2008 12:23]

Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School

		An old friend died on Thursday By: timmy on Sun, 03 February 2008 11:34
		Re: An old friend died on Thursday By: acam on Sun, 03 February 2008 16:23
		Re: An old friend died on Thursday By: Nigel on Sun, 03 February 2008 20:32
		Re: An old friend died on Thursday By: timmy on Mon, 04 February 2008 00:36

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