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... to be able to talk and unload in front of those who have cared everytime I have written in the past....
I know some of you may have never heard of me before, but I have been haunting these halls for a while.
Let me go back a little bit. I first came to IOMFATS in about 2001 or 2002, very shortly after I became very honest with myself and life altogether, and came out publicly. I was 39 0r 40 at the time, divorced (I came out after my divorce, not while married), with 3 children, Christopher, who is now 25, Dustin, who is now 19, and Tiffany, who is 17. Within a couple of weeks of admitting to my kids that I am gay, my son Christopher called me, told me off, and has not talked to me since. I miss him terribly, but I must allow him to figure this out for himself.
It is my middle son, Dustin, that I am torn because of....
Dustin has been the most incredible child to raise. He is the one who taught me how blessed I am as a gay man, to have children. I have always said that if all children born were like him, this world would be so overpopulated we wouldn't be able to survive!!!! I always called him my baby boy (yeah... I know that those of you who are under like 25 are reading this and rolling your eyes, but trust me when I say that deep down, most all parents feel this way about their kids... or so I have experienced anyway.)
Well, he just left for the United States Air Force today, and is going in for a minimum of 6 years active duty. I am so proud of him, and I am convinced that he will make an exceptional addition to the Air Force!! I am just so proud...
... and pained...
While it could be much worse, I know I am being selfish here. I can't call him up tomorrow and say "Let's go see this movie" or I can't say to him "Come on out to our place and help us do this or that project, or let's have a bon fire in the woods tonight." I won't be able to say that for a long time... and I am sad. I cried a couple of times today, but of course that is only because of me being selfish. I will miss him so much it already hurts....
But I am so proud!!!! ......
And I am so torn because him being gone already hurts.....
Thanks everyone for letting me get this off my chest. You all still rock my world, even if I don't chime in very often.
Hugs,
BamBam
:-/ :-/ :-/
Celebrate your life... embrace your love... Become intimate with your place in forever !!!
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I am really torn today.... and I came to the place of safety 
