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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13828
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When I created this forum I made a conscious decision not to turn anyone away if they were in pain, hurting, needing help, however awkward they made others feel, however combative they were, however difficult to deal with for some folks.
With two exceptions I have stuck to that self imposed set of values.
Doing that has by no means been easy, And during the time this forum has been here, under whatever software regime, I have received on occasion emails asking me to ban this or that person.
I have chosen not to act on those emails. I do not accept pressure at all. I listen to what folk have to say and explain that the running of this place is never going to please everyone and that I will always make mistakes.
Almost everyone needs the forum here more than the forum needs them. No. Everyone needs the forum more than it needs them, me included. I can think of no exceptions. Even the toughest, thickest skinned person is here because they perceive that they receive something of value from it. Many give much of value in return.
Maybe you are waiting for the 'but'. There isn't one.
Think about the effect, the huge effect, you have on others. When you are positive you are one of the most positive. nicest people I know. When you are down folk will put themselves out to help you.
When you are negative you are one of the most destructive people I know, and are mostly self destructive. And in this you pull the roof down not only on yourself, but on everyone else.
No-one has mentioned, for example, the Jerusalem Pride parade because you always find something unpleasant to say about it.
Our younger folks are intimidated by you. See any of them posting?
Some of our older folks don't want, much, to share a forum with you. See a few absentees?
No-one was pleased about your treatment of Jordan and his love life - a private matter raised in public.
You promise much about the tone of your posts and deliver it for a while. Then you revert.
Why have I not banned you after any of your odd outbursts? Go and re-read the first paragraph.
The weird and combative behaviours you so often exhibit are most assuredly not welcome. You are welcome, though. Just not those behaviours.
So please think, and think hard about how you behave, and how that behaviour is perceived by others. Blunt speaking is not a virtue. It is, almost always, damnably rude. And that makes people, many people, email me and ask why I do not ban you.
I have had enough of explaining this to people. I'm tired of doing it. So it is time you repaid everyone here by being a decent, upright, assertive but not aggressive citizen who does his best to get along while making sure his own opinions are heard.
What would you do in my place when faced with you as a challenge? What?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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An open letter to you, Marc. It's written in friendship.
By: timmy on Sun, 29 June 2008 22:13 |
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Re: An open letter to you, Marc. It's written in friendship.
By: marc on Sun, 29 June 2008 22:30 |
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Re: An open letter to you, Marc. It's written in friendship
By: timmy on Sun, 29 June 2008 23:02 |
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Re: An open letter to you, Marc. It's written in friendship
By: marc on Sun, 29 June 2008 23:06 |
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Re: An open letter to you, Marc. It's written in friendship
By: timmy on Sun, 29 June 2008 23:15 |
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Re: An open letter to you, Marc. It's written in friendship
By: marc on Sun, 29 June 2008 23:25 |
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Re: An open letter to you, Marc. It's written in friendship
By: timmy on Mon, 30 June 2008 06:40 |
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Re: An open letter to you, Marc. It's written in friendship
By: acam on Mon, 30 June 2008 08:30 |
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Re: An open letter to you, Marc. It's written in friendship
By: marc on Mon, 30 June 2008 11:31 |
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Re: An open letter to you, Marc. It's written in friendship
By: timmy on Mon, 30 June 2008 14:01 |
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Re: An open letter to you, Marc. It's written in friendship
By: timmy on Mon, 30 June 2008 11:07 |
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Re: An open letter to you, Marc. It's written in friendship
By: JFR on Mon, 30 June 2008 11:39 |
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Re: An open letter to you, Marc. It's written in friendship
By: timmy on Mon, 30 June 2008 11:47 |
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Re: An open letter to you, Marc. It's written in friendship
By: acam on Mon, 30 June 2008 19:56 |
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Re: An open letter to you, Marc. It's written in friendship
By: JFR on Tue, 01 July 2008 13:30 |
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