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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13818
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But my thoughts ran towards "is it worth it?"
The topic is by no means as uncontroversial as ones about role models, but that one caused me to consider why I post at all. Most replies were fine, but the one that attacked me, or that I felt attacked me, really put me off.
So my thoughts ran to our less tough minded or our younger members, and I wondered how they must feel in these circumstances. I know the "lads" are off to college and I assume they are busy as you like, but we haven't seen Curtis for a while, and I wonder if he is also wondering whether to post.
But if posts don't happen then this place is useless. And if it's useless I may as well close it down.
But I don't want to close it down.
I created it to help people by letting them help themselves. When I created it I asked people if another forum was needed. They said it was.
So why am I now nervous to post on my own board?
Easy. I dislike being attacked. I dislike it a lot.
The thing is, there is only one person who attacks, and he was one of those who said "Yes, there is a need for a new forum" all that time ago. Every time I challenge him he promises to improve.
I concede that the attacks have improved. Their politeness improves and the attack is thus the more effective for that reason. Yes, they have improved. So has the underlying rudeness. It is now cloaked with a veneer of apparent politeness. Very well done, that. Clever.
If I post this topic I am sure I'll be attacked. So I am going to content myself with this post. I do have a topic for it, but it isn't the topic I had in mind when I started to write.
This is the subject line:
Stop veiled rudeness and personal attacks
And the meat of the post?
> I, we, have all had enough of it. Enough warnings, enough pleas, enough requests, enough of all of the paraphernalia that goes with it. So I, we, want it stopped.
> It isn't bluntness, plain speaking or any other euphemism. It's rudeness bordering on arrogance.
> I am fed up with needing a fellow member as a cop here. I have had enough of it.
> So, Marc, you need this place. I know you need it. Sometimes you need a friend to hold up a mirror and show you what you are doing. This is one of those times. You need this place. Keep the veiled rudeness and attacks up and you will take it away from yourself.
> I will not be made afraid to post in case you attack me. I will not allow it to happen to anyone else either. Nor by anyone else. But at present I feel abused by you. I am a victim of my friendship with you and feel that I am being abused. Or I feel that you feel you can behave as you do because we are friends. And that is abuse.
> Whatever you perceive your interactions here to be, I perceive them as I have painted above. If your perception differs from mine then know that in this case mine holds sway. And I will not be abused any more.
[Updated on: Wed, 10 September 2008 13:25]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I was thinking. I have a topic to post
By: timmy on Wed, 10 September 2008 12:56 |
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Re: I was thinking. I have a topic to post
By: marc on Wed, 10 September 2008 13:30 |
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Not so
By: timmy on Wed, 10 September 2008 13:38 |
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Re: Not so
By: marc on Wed, 10 September 2008 13:41 |
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Re: Not so
By: timmy on Wed, 10 September 2008 13:48 |
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Re: Not so
By: marc on Wed, 10 September 2008 14:23 |
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Thread Locked
By: Moderator on Wed, 10 September 2008 14:54 |
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Re: Thread Locked
By: timmy on Wed, 10 September 2008 16:05 |
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Re: Thread Locked
By: Nigel on Wed, 10 September 2008 21:04 |
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Re: Thread Locked
By: timmy on Wed, 10 September 2008 21:39 |
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Uxor Caesaris
By: Nigel on Thu, 11 September 2008 07:24 |
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Re: Uxor Caesaris
By: timmy on Thu, 11 September 2008 08:14 |
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Re: Not so
By: timmy on Wed, 10 September 2008 16:20 |
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How to be nice
By: acam on Wed, 10 September 2008 17:07 |
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Re: Not so
By: marc on Wed, 10 September 2008 17:56 |
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Re: Not so
By: John.. on Wed, 10 September 2008 20:04 |
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Re: Not so
By: Senne on Wed, 10 September 2008 20:13 |
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Re: Not so
By: NW on Wed, 10 September 2008 20:49 |
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Disagree with pleasure, but never fight.
By: timmy on Wed, 10 September 2008 21:44 |
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capital letters
By: timmy on Wed, 10 September 2008 21:46 |
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I accept your apology
By: timmy on Wed, 10 September 2008 21:37 |
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