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What is sexual attraction?  [message #54765] Fri, 21 November 2008 07:59 Go to previous message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13818



It was Death in Venice that got me thinking about this. I knew when I watched it first that I was in thrall to the image of Tadzio. And yet it was his face that entered my being, not other anatomical parts.

Seeing naked bodies has only ever appealed to me if the face is worth looking at. Conversely, when I see a well proportioned naked body first I always have to look at the face before I have any interest; well, apart from wanting to see the face, that is!

In school, in the showers, where naked bodies were ten a penny, the naked bodies themselves had little appeal, except where the face had already been registered as 'He looks nice'.

My early masturbation fantasies were face oriented. It was later that I associated their specific genitalia with my orgasmic efforts.

Which leads me to more and more questions, but I can't quite work out how to phrase them!

Then there is 'Wow, he's gorgeous, but what do I want to do?' That question is as appropriate for an attainable as an unattainable person. DinV again. What did he want to do with Tadzio? Imagine my gorgeous Wednesday evening paper boy were to walk into my home and I discovered that he was of legal age and wanted to do whatever I wanted. Quite an imagine, that.

What do I want to do with him? He is very Tadzio-like in loads of things except with a different face. I look forward to seeing him, but I genuinely do not want to touch. That's not a morality thing, it's a fact. And the fact is that I have never, not really, wanted to touch. My brain separates sex from attraction. I'd love to perform sex with someone to whom I'm attracted, but my feeling of attraction is not 'I want to bury my dick deep in you (or have your dick buried deep in me)' It's 'I want to share your company in emotionally intimate ways'.

Now this is not 100% true. Walking off the rugby pitch behind Nick Jones when I was 13 and seeing his glorious legs made me want to bury my entire being in his body. Nothing face oriented there, I was erect as hell and vanishing between his bum cheeks from ten feet away! I'd never even spoken to him, and his face, while pleasant, was not the attractor there! And there have been a few like that over the years with whom sex, sex, sex would have been the ultimate, perhaps only goal.

So I'm bewildered, a bit. The thing is, am I alone in feeling like this?

[Updated on: Fri, 21 November 2008 08:03]




Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
 
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