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Even if you've never played a PC game in your life, here is a joystick substitue that will turn you into an expert quickly.
*Warning... this is an adult toy. View at your own discretion.*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JORtc2gAsY&eurl
Now they just need to invent a suitable game to go with it
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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